Here we go, it is Thursday Night and we are taking a trip to Orlando and the Impact Zone!
We are live to tape this week. There is no Jeremy Borash this week, we have Mike Tenay, Taz and whoever this new guy is as a three man booth. We have James Storm in the ring talking about his victory last week at Turning Point when Bobby Roode comes out. Whoever the new announcer isn't on the TNA webpage but Ric Flair
still is! Are they going to do the gimmick where Storm gives up his title shot to Roode? I hope not it never makes sense for them to do it. Yes they are, as Roode just said the only way he'll fight Storm is for the title shot. That makes no sense and I bet Storm does it....no he said no! Good boy Storm. Oh good grief Roode just told Storm's daughter to give him a call when she turns eighteen and Storm accepts. Really? That is all it takes? Next time Storm has a title match I'll go in person to Orlando (not really, he'd kill me). The new announcer is Todd Kinney (I hope I spelt that right).
still is! Are they going to do the gimmick where Storm gives up his title shot to Roode? I hope not it never makes sense for them to do it. Yes they are, as Roode just said the only way he'll fight Storm is for the title shot. That makes no sense and I bet Storm does it....no he said no! Good boy Storm. Oh good grief Roode just told Storm's daughter to give him a call when she turns eighteen and Storm accepts. Really? That is all it takes? Next time Storm has a title match I'll go in person to Orlando (not really, he'd kill me). The new announcer is Todd Kinney (I hope I spelt that right).
Yes we have Hulk Hogan on the show talking about AJ Styles. That is awesome. Why have Jeff Hardy or Storm or Samoa Joe talk about what it means not to have a title shot for a year. Nope it is Hulk Hogan. Now that I'm watching "live" every week and don't skip his crap I can't stand Hogan and he ruins or at least drags down every segment/angle he is involved in.
Wow Jimmy Johnson is advertising male enhancement pills. I guess Fox isn't paying very well or he pulled a Ric Flair and has gone through a dozen divorces and owes everyone money
We come back to footage of Sting getting destroyed last week and no one in TNA caring until it was way too late. We now go to the Aces and Eights Clubhouse and they are grilling Doc. They take his vest and we'll find out later if he gets to remain a member. We also see the dart board of doom and they pick their new victim. This is just bad. I hope it is Jesse from Big Brother because he sucks!
Next up the X-Division Champion Rob Van Dam taking on Kid Kash. They bring up the ECW and their history there. Neither guy has been on TV for a few weeks. Hell RVD lost the X-Division belt last week here in Michigan so that shows how much his head is in the game. I see RVD leaving TNA as his contract is up sometime in the first quarter of 2013, at least that is what is being reported. Wow they just called WWE by name. RVD nearly kills himself by doing a crappy monkey flip, yeah I know a crappy RVD move....surprises me too.....and then hits the Five Star Frog Splash for the win.
Neither guy has been on TV for a few weeks. Hell RVD lost the X-Division belt last week here in Michigan so that shows how much his head is in the game. I see RVD leaving TNA as his contract is up sometime in the first quarter of 2013, at least that is what is being reported. Wow they just called WWE by name. RVD nearly kills himself by doing a crappy monkey flip, yeah I know a crappy RVD move....surprises me too.....and then hits the Five Star Frog Splash for the win.
Eric Young and
We come back and Kurt Angle is in the back and Garrett Bischoff and Wes Brisco are trying to convence Kurt to be his partner. That is the best he can? I can gladly go to Orlando and be his partner, it'll be better than those two!
Apparently the Knockouts match later tonight will be a battle royal and Mickie James returns. Wow Taz just said golden shower when talking about Eric Young and the alligator! This show is off the rails and it is better than talking about the Jesse and EY match. It'll be interesting to see if this feud continues with talks of EY's contract continues. I dig EY and he might be the only person alive with a better beard than me....might be. If I hadn't shaved recently mine would be better FOR sure. This match is still going on and I can only talk about my beard, my AWESOME beard, for so long. Wow Jesse must be pretty small as EY is bigger than him. "ODB tried to smother Tara with her bussom...I did so bussom." I love Taz! Jesse hit a posing stunner for the win. Jesse isn't even good enough to be on NXT let along Impact. Hell Jesse isn't good enough to be on the Indy shows I used to go to in SLC.
Samoa Joe takes on Magnus next. Why, they just had a no DQ match at Turning Point. The PPV matches should be the end of things not just another chapter but what do I know.
Thus far nothing to write home about on this show. Actually it has been pretty forgettable. Last nights WWE Main Event was much better so far.
I don't get the Ruffles Ultimate commercial. She gets better at poker because of the ruffles? They are good chips though!
We come back and see footage of Doc taking on Joseph Park from Turning Point. We see Park go into his trance and become Abyss like. We get our next Hogan segment and Park wants one more match and Hogan says that people in hell want ice water. Hogan says no. Park is now going to go to "wrestling camp" and become a wrestler.
Again why are we getting a PPV rematch? It is just stupid. Oh wait it is just an angle as Aces and Eights just attacked him. Devon just turned the prospects loose on the crew. Doc has the hammer and hits Magnus on the quad on one leg and the knee on the other. This could be because Magnus said that he didn't care about them a few weeks back but it could also be because they don't care who. Devon is lining up a headshot with the bat but Bully Ray runs them off followed by Al Snow, D'Lo Brown and Simon Diamond. Snow throws up the injury "X" (which is over done ever sense they had to throw it up when Kevin Nash tore his quad) and we go to break.
Seriously we've seen the "X" too often and it has become a parody. I remember being confused when Earl Hebner threw it up during that 10 man on Raw years ago but now it is done for an injury angle. I guess because we might believe it is real.
We come back and see recaps of the assault on Magnus. They are trying to make it seem serious but injury angles just don't work when you see people go through flaming tables as transition spots. ECW and Hardcore wrestling ruined injury angles but I won't go too far off on a rant today. We now get a recap of the Ladder match Sunday where Jeff Hardy retained his title, the wrong way to go if you ask me, but it is what it is. The question is where do you go with A Double after that match.
The mystery camera man asks the Aries that question. He goes into the locker room and there is Hardy and Aries mouths off. He sorta gives Hardy a complement and says it isn't over. Oh good grief they are still doing these weird ass voice overs for Hardy. Things go all slow motion and we hear the voice over like we are hearing his thoughts. It is horrible.
Oh nice, Kurt told Bischoff to get dressed to wrestle and he did, he put on workout pants. Again Kurt give me a chance. I have my own workout pants and shorts even! Up next tag team action.
We have a new masked member of Aces in the match with his parter Devon. I don't know who it is under the mask but he is a large guy. This match has been pretty slow with Angle's neck being worked on. Doc is out to attack Angle but Wes Brisco with the save and Angle with a low blow and a roll up for the win. Maybe the worse Angle match I've ever seen and I think I saw him against Naked Mideon!
Still to come Roode against Storm, the Knockouts Battle Royal and of course we'll hear AJ Styles. In the back we see Tara and Jess going into Brooke Hogan's locker room. They walk in and Bully Ray and Brooke are caught in a compromising situation. Brooke had her leg over Bully's. So not only is Hulk ruining people now Brooke is going to as well. *sigh*
Great now we get to hear from Dixie Carter about Styles. Hogan and Carter talking about Styles makes perfect sense. They are dropping the ball with this angle before it ends. Up next is our 5 knockout battle royal. Gail Kim, ODB, Madison Rayne, Mickie James and Miss Tessmacher. Damn I think Madison got even more attractive! She might have become my favorite knockout, at least to look out as she looks amazing. Mickie James is back and she looks like she is drinking the same thing as ODB if you smell what I'm cooking! In other words she looks like she has been enhanced. Got pec implants like The Rock. I think she had her boobs done there are you happy! I think the Knockouts might be better looking AND more talented than the Diva's on a whole. They also mentioned that Mickie had a mass removed recently but it wasn't cancerous which is good. If ODB doesn't win here I doubt Eric Young is staying with the company. I think it will be ODB or Mickie. Rayne and Kim haven't been on TV in weeks if not months and Tessmacher was just in a program with Tara. Brooke is gone and ODB is smashing the heels into the top turnbuckle while sitting on it and they make it like she is going into her...um...nether regions. Rayne is gone after falling off the apron when ODB spits the booze in her face and ODB is gone! Goodbye EY! Kim or James and I doubt it will be Kim. It is Mickie and we'll have another Tara/James feud.
The mystery camera asks Storm about being stupid and putting the title shot on the line. Styles walks in, goes nose to nose with Storm and walks off. Strangely I don't care. Styles should come out saying that this is going to make him more hungry and in the next year you'll see a more focused Styles. Each week you'll see a more aggressive Styles. Then each week have him come out and have 20 minute matches with everyone. By Bound for Glory next year everyone will want to see him get his match because he has beaten everyone but the champion. Instead it looks like they are going to make him be a whiny bitch about it. Yeah that makes him a character people will care about.
The show has picked up some. Thus far a middle of the road show with the Battle Royal the best in my opinion. I think Hulk Hogan merch was in every shot for the shoptna.com commercial.
Wow Doc is out of Aces and Eights already. Oh they swerved us, they are just so funny those TNA writers. Again if they are going to do the "swerve" have him make the "save" next week and then lay out whoever. Get a little bit out of it instead they throw it away without it meaning anything.
Wow a LONE person in the crowd is saying "What" to AJ. I HATE THAT and the crowd in the Impact Zone. The kid is still doing the what think. KICK HIM OUT! AJ isn't thankful for anything and out comes Daniels and Kazarian. Wow we are going to get one more AJ/Daniels match or maybe an AJ/Kazarian match. Either way these guys need to move on. Wait next week is Thanksgiving, they can have the annual turkey suit match between these two and continue to make AJ look weak.
Even though there was quite a bit early on less Hulk Hogan this week it seems. We should be getting to the main event after this break and that is a good thing. It has picked up during hour 2 but still I feel like the show has started to slow down the last two weeks or so.
Next week is open fight night? On Thanksgiving week? That doesn't make any sense...and all the gut check winners will be there? What? I'm confused. Angle is begging for Brisco to get a gutcheck chance. Brother Love and Snow don't like the idea because there is a process but D-Lo likes it and Angle says Taz already said it was a good idea. I really don't like this three man booth, way too much Todd and not enough Taz and Tenay.
Because it is wrestling Bobby Roode will win this match and take Storm's title shot. I don't know if anyone has ever kept a title shot in a match like this. I understand the whole I'm upset and how dare you talk about my daughter but you have to be smart. I want my characters to be smarter than that. Maybe that is why I like the bad guys more often than not. A turnbuckle pad is off and that will come into play and it does already. These guys are both good but like I said a few weeks ago I don't see "star" with these guys. TNA needs to find some guys with the "it" factor. Guys that make you do a double take when you walk by them. CM Punk has it. John Cena has it. Hulk Hogan did back in the day. The Rock and Brock Lesnar both have it. Samoa Joe does I think and Matt Morgan does for sure. It should be Samoa Joe, Matt Morgan, Hernandez and guys like that going for the title.
We are back from break and Roode is working on the arm setting up the Crossface. Tenay just did a great job of summing up the feud between these two guys. There are way too many kicks thrown in wrestling anymore as well. I remember when a guy like Tajiri would throw kicks and it was different. Now it is different if you don't throw a bunch of kicks. So far the exposed turnbuckle has been forgotten. Roode with the Crossface but Storm won't quit and you can't have a heel win clean. Backstabber then a Codebreaker and it is time for a Last Call Superkick. Roode threw the ref in the way, Storm threw him out of the way and Roode sends him into the exposed buckle and that is it folks! Roode will take on Hardy at the next PPV.
That makes it 10pm and that means it is time for Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Goodbye folks from the Fat Man. Abyssinia!!!
returns. Wow Taz just said golden shower when talking about Eric Young and the alligator! This show is off the rails and it is better than talking about the Jesse and EY match. It'll be interesting to see if this feud continues with talks of EY's contract continues. I dig EY and he might be the only person alive with a better beard than me....might be. If I hadn't shaved recently mine would be better FOR sure. This match is still going on and I can only talk about my beard, my AWESOME beard, for so long. Wow Jesse must be pretty small as EY is bigger than him. "ODB tried to smother Tara with her bussom...I did so bussom." I love Taz! Jesse hit a posing stunner for the win. Jesse isn't even good enough to be on NXT let along Impact. Hell Jesse isn't good enough to be on the Indy shows I used to go to in SLC.Samoa Joe takes on Magnus next. Why, they just had a no DQ match at Turning Point. The PPV matches should be the end of things not just another chapter but what do I know.
Thus far nothing to write home about on this show. Actually it has been pretty forgettable. Last nights WWE Main Event was much better so far.
I don't get the Ruffles Ultimate commercial. She gets better at poker because of the ruffles? They are good chips though!
We come back and see footage of Doc taking on Joseph Park from Turning Point. We see Park go into his trance and become Abyss like. We get our next Hogan segment and Park wants one more match and Hogan says that people in hell want ice water. Hogan says no. Park is now going to go to "wrestling camp" and become a wrestler.
Again why are we getting a PPV rematch? It is just stupid. Oh wait it is just an angle as Aces and Eights just attacked him. Devon just turned the prospects loose on the crew. Doc has the hammer and hits Magnus on the quad on one leg and the knee on the other. This could be because Magnus said that he didn't care about them a few weeks back but it could also be because they don't care who. Devon is lining up a headshot with the bat but Bully Ray runs them off followed by Al Snow, D'Lo Brown and Simon Diamond. Snow throws up the injury "X" (which is over done ever sense they had to throw it up when Kevin Nash tore his quad) and we go to break.
Seriously we've seen the "X" too often and it has become a parody. I remember being confused when Earl Hebner threw it up during that 10 man on Raw
years ago but now it is done for an injury angle. I guess because we might believe it is real.We come back and see recaps of the assault on Magnus. They are trying to make it seem serious but injury angles just don't work when you see people go through flaming tables as transition spots. ECW and Hardcore wrestling ruined injury angles but I won't go too far off on a rant today. We now get a recap of the Ladder match Sunday where Jeff Hardy retained his title, the wrong way to go if you ask me, but it is what it is. The question is where do you go with A Double after that match.
The mystery camera man asks the Aries that question. He goes into the locker room and there is Hardy and Aries mouths off. He sorta gives Hardy a complement and says it isn't over. Oh good grief they are still doing these weird ass voice overs for Hardy. Things go all slow motion and we hear the voice over like we are hearing his thoughts. It is horrible. Oh nice, Kurt told Bischoff to get dressed to wrestle and he did, he put on workout pants. Again Kurt give me a chance. I have my own workout pants and shorts even! Up next tag team action.
We have a new masked member of Aces in the match with his parter Devon. I don't know who it is under the mask but he is a large guy. This match has been pretty slow with Angle's neck being worked on. Doc is out to attack Angle but Wes Brisco with the save and Angle with a low blow and a roll up for the win. Maybe the worse Angle match I've ever seen and I think I saw him against Naked Mideon!
Still to come Roode against Storm, the Knockouts Battle Royal and of course we'll hear AJ Styles. In the back we see Tara and Jess going into Brooke Hogan's locker room. They walk in and Bully Ray and Brooke are caught in a compromising situation. Brooke had her leg over Bully's. So not only is Hulk ruining people now Brooke is going to as well. *sigh*
Great now we get to hear from Dixie Carter about Styles. Hogan and Carter talking about Styles makes perfect sense. They are dropping the ball with this angle before it ends. Up next is our 5 knockout battle royal. Gail Kim, ODB, Madison Rayne, Mickie James and Miss Tessmacher. Damn I think Madison got even more attractive! She might have become my favorite knockout, at least to look out as she looks amazing. Mickie James is back and she looks like she is drinking the same thing as ODB if you smell what I'm cooking! In other words she looks like she has been enhanced. Got pec implants like The Rock. I think she had her boobs done there are you happy! I think the Knockouts might be better looking AND more talented than the Diva's on a whole. They also mentioned that Mickie had a mass removed recently but it wasn't cancerous which is good. If ODB doesn't win here I doubt Eric Young is staying with the company. I think it will be ODB or Mickie. Rayne and Kim haven't been on TV in weeks if not months and Tessmacher was just in a program with Tara. Brooke is gone and ODB is smashing the heels into the top turnbuckle while sitting on it and they make it like she is going into her...um...nether regions. Rayne is gone after falling off the apron when ODB spits the booze in her face and ODB is gone! Goodbye EY! Kim or James and I doubt it will be Kim. It is Mickie and we'll have another Tara/James feud.
The mystery camera asks Storm about being stupid and putting the title shot on the line. Styles walks in, goes nose to nose with Storm and walks off. Strangely I don't care. Styles should come out saying that this is going to make him more hungry and in the next year you'll see a more focused Styles. Each week you'll see a more aggressive Styles. Then each week have him come out and have 20 minute matches with everyone. By Bound for Glory next year everyone will want to see him get his match because he has beaten everyone but the champion. Instead it looks like they are going to make him be a whiny bitch about it. Yeah that makes him a character people will care about.
The show has picked up some. Thus far a middle of the road show with the Battle Royal the best in my opinion. I think Hulk Hogan merch was in every shot for the shoptna.com commercial.
Wow Doc is out of Aces and Eights already. Oh they swerved us, they are just so funny those TNA writers. Again if they are going to do the "swerve" have him make the "save" next week and then lay out whoever. Get a little bit out of it instead they throw it away without it meaning anything.
Wow a LONE person in the crowd is saying "What" to AJ. I HATE THAT and the crowd in the Impact Zone. The kid is still doing the what think. KICK HIM OUT! AJ isn't thankful for anything and out comes Daniels and Kazarian. Wow we are going to get one more AJ/Daniels match or maybe an AJ/Kazarian match. Either way these guys need to move on. Wait next week is Thanksgiving, they can have the annual turkey suit match between these two and continue to make AJ look weak.
Even though there was quite a bit early on less Hulk Hogan this week it seems. We should be getting to the main event after this break and that is a good thing. It has picked up during hour 2 but still I feel like the show has started to slow down the last two weeks or so.
Next week is open fight night? On Thanksgiving week? That doesn't make any sense...and all the gut check winners will be there? What? I'm confused. Angle is begging for Brisco to get a gutcheck chance. Brother Love and Snow don't like the idea because there is a process but D-Lo likes it and Angle says Taz already said it was a good idea. I really don't like this three man booth, way too much Todd and not enough Taz and Tenay.
Because it is wrestling Bobby Roode will win this match and take Storm's title shot. I don't know if anyone has ever kept a title shot in a match like this. I understand the whole I'm upset and how dare you talk about my daughter but you have to be smart. I want my characters to be smarter than that. Maybe that is why I like the bad guys more often than not. A turnbuckle pad is off and that will come into play and it does already. These guys are both good but like I said a few weeks ago I don't see "star" with these guys. TNA needs to find some guys with the "it" factor. Guys that make you do a double take when you walk by them. CM Punk has it. John Cena has it. Hulk Hogan did back in the day. The Rock and Brock Lesnar both have it. Samoa Joe does I think and Matt Morgan does for sure. It should be Samoa Joe, Matt Morgan, Hernandez and guys like that going for the title.
We are back from break and Roode is working on the arm setting up the Crossface. Tenay just did a great job of summing up the feud between these two guys. There are way too many kicks thrown in wrestling anymore as well. I remember when a guy like Tajiri would throw kicks and it was different. Now it is different if you don't throw a bunch of kicks. So far the exposed turnbuckle has been forgotten. Roode with the Crossface but Storm won't quit and you can't have a heel win clean. Backstabber then a Codebreaker and it is time for a Last Call Superkick. Roode threw the ref in the way, Storm threw him out of the way and Roode sends him into the exposed buckle and that is it folks! Roode will take on Hardy at the next PPV.
That makes it 10pm and that means it is time for Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Goodbye folks from the Fat Man. Abyssinia!!!
Results:
Rob Van Dam defeated Kid Kash
Jesse defeated EY
Kurt Angle and Garrett Bischoff defeated Aces and Eights
Mickie James won a 5 knockout battle royal
Bobby Roode defeated James Storm
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