I am a dinosaur....

I am a dinosaur....

Some of you know, and if you read the CM Punk entry you know for sure, I was recently "future endeavored" by my last job.  A job that I would put 70-80 hours a week into and worked all but 3 days of July in.  One that less than three weeks before I was let go the employees decided to give me an award at.  Over a dozen employees of the company took the time to say that fat bearded guy is a pretty hard worked and deserved to be recognized for it.  Go back and find my entry about it, it was probably the more proud I had even been in my life.  

This isn't a pity party for me, fuck that place.  Fuck Scott Carter and the HR department and Joan and the others involved.  Fuck the yes men and yes fuck me for blowing it.  I have anger issues and I know that.  I lost my temper and it cost me the job I realize that.  However no one bothered to ask why did you lose it that day?  When a lot of days people were asking for me and saying how glad they were that they were talking to me why would I have a completely different day that day.  The answer is simple, lazy people who didn't do their job.  

All I heard growing up is that if you work hard you get ahead in life.  That is what you hear all the time right?  Hard work is what this country was founded on blah blah blah blah blah.  If only that was true.  I am not bragging here, I'm really not, but no one works harder than me at a job.  NO ONE!  I have one identity in life, work.  I don't really do hobbies.  I'm not a father nor do I have a family.  My identity is work.  My identity is that I am the hardest damn worker around.  Why?  Because it was what I believed would get me ahead.  I am not the prettiest mother fucker around.  I am not the smartest.  I am the work horse.  You give the Fat Man a job and he gets it done, usually right the first time, and I don't need someone looking over my shoulder.  It drove me to my breaking point that day and then over the edge.  

When someone comes into my area and tells me that I don't know what I'm doing and my team doesn't (even if they didn't) you bet I lost it.  I take too much pride in my work to be talked down to like that.  I then lost it on the employee who made this happen.  You bet I did.  I unleashed a string of curse words on that boy.  Should I have?  No!  But this happened again and again and again and I was tired of it.  

Again I don't blame them for talking to me about this, I was wrong and handled the situation wrongly.  Hell I knew deep down it was going to happen I think.  I had given up on that job with everything but my work ethic.  Sadly me phoning that job in still made me twice the worker of the rest of my team.  I liked them all but they were all lazy unmotivated people who were doing what was needed to get by led by a manager who allowed it.  For Christ sakes the manager once said I don't care if you're on time, I'm not a time nazi!  Yeah, I nearly lost it that day.

But back to my main point, why did I lose it.  Why did I always lose it?  People not doing their job.  People not taking pride in their work.  People not working hard.  Why have people in this country stopped working hard?  Because it doesn't matter anymore.  It doesn't.  I've watched as people don't show up or are always late and nothing is said to them.  I've watched as people, and this isn't just at my last job, do the bare minimum and not only stay employed but thrive and move up.

At my last job I once went and did my managers tickets, the supervisors tickets and the site support tickets all while taking phone calls.  Why?  Because I had ALL mine done and was sitting there doing nothing.  I was doing tickets three and four months old.  What did it get me?  Nothing but a feeling of a job well done and the respect of the people I helped.  That is almost enough....almost.  

However when it came time for me to get a raise what happened?  I got shafted again and again.  We'll do it here and then it was we'll do it here and then here and then here and I just took it.  I don't blame them I blame me.  I am a company man.  The same thing happened at the job before that.  It'll only be X amount of time and you'll be back in SLC.  Then they changed their mind.  I did it to show I am a company man and willing to do what is best for them.  I lost thousands, if not tens of thousands, of dollars in overtime because I took them at their word.  My bad.  I guess I won't do that again....but I will because I am that guy.

I am the guy who opens and closes the store.  I am that guy who is always early and never leaves on time.  I am that guy who skips lunch because it is busy.  I am that guy who works hard not for the money because it is the right thing to do.  I am what this country was founded on.  I am hard work boys and girls.  

I am what is missing in this country.  I am a hard working, don't take crap because they tell you it is candy dinosaur.  I am one of the last of my kind.  I don't play the game of being nice to the bosses.  I am not there to be nice I am there to work!  The bosses should like me because I work hard and I make them look good.....most of the time.  I am a dinosaur in a land of mammals.  I haven't evolved and never will at this point.  I will be the guy who never gets what he deserves because of himself.  I know that now.  I've tried to be like the others.  Go in from 8-5, collect my check and go home.  I can't do it.  I respect MYSELF too much.  I am a dinosaur that will continue to fight the good fight.  I am the dinosaur who at the end of the day can look myself in the mirror and say I did a good hard days work.  I am the dinosaur who can say I could not have done more at my job.  I know the people I worked with at my last job can't say that.  They are too busy doing pushups during work while tickets sat around.  They are too busy taking smoke breaks or looking things up on the internet or watching Netflixs.  I am a dinosaur boys and girls and I am proud.  I will not change or evolve.  Let me be the last of my kind.  Let me hurt myself and always be way below where I should be.  Because when you suck ups need something done you have to come to me.  When you see my smirking face you'll know that in the end the dinosaur is still needed in a world of mammals.  I am the dinosaur...