Movie Review: Dead Shack

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you have found this entry.  Today, 7/29/18, I am watching the zombie flick Dead Shack.  "While staying at a run-down cabin in the woods during the weekend, three children must save their parents from the neighbor who intends to feed them to her un-dead family."  It stars Matthew Nelson-Mahood, Lizzie Boys, Gabriel LaBelle.  It currently has a rating of 5.7 with 940 votes.  I remember seeing the concept trailer for this a year or two ago so I am excited to see this.  Should have joined the kick starter for it!

• Is that a zombie with a shotgun?
• Shit I think that was a zombie with a shotgun...and he used it.  That is worse then a hobo with a shotgun for sure!
• Oh shit, the hulu dancer...this could become fallout as those damn things are everywhere in those games!
• Colin is a total dick
• Those two "bros" are zombie food for sure!
• I kind of like Roger, he explains his jokes...I like to do that too!
• What is a demon cow?
• Dungeons and Dildos?  Where do I pick up that game?  I am asking for a friend
• Did he just randomly get into that car?  Really?
• This movie is why I do NOT go camping
• Told you!  ZOMBIE FOOD!
• That guy can dance!
• Seriously this si why you do NOT go into the woods!
• Why did the kids just stand there after throwing the rock?
• I would skip the apologizing.  
• Wait, it is okay, I think she is just Batman
• So in this world does that dead body become the next zombie?
• Strip go fish?
• Yeah I really liking Roger!
• That is a really nice shower for such a shitty cabin
• Why does he NOT stop peeing
• Sexy Cannibals IS a good band name
• Never open a room that is locked from the OUTSIDE
• Oh and a bar across it, yeah it is not a door you open in any world or universe
• 40 and all he does is eat and watch cartoons...was this modeled after me?
• That was a zombie!
• That guy turned really quickly
• Are they going to say the Z word?
• Awesome!  He farts in peoples face!  Roger is my new spirit animal!
• Awe yeah, the gearing up scene!
• I do not want sound gay or anything but unicorns kick ass!
• Kid zombies, always creepy!
• Yeah Roger is my spirit animal for sure!
• Roger has a little Ash Williams vibe going
• BITCH!  SHE KILLED ROGER!!
• Sledgehammer, nice choice!

That was a fun little flick.  I do not think the 5.7 fits this flick.  I give it a 7/10.  It was well done.  Honestly everything about it was well done.  The effects were perfect and appeared to be mostly practical.  

The acting was fine and every entertaining!  Roger and Colin and Summer were all great and Jason as the wet blanket nerdy kid was great.  I personally think that Roger stole the flick.

It was nice to see Lauren Holly in a smaller flick like this and she was good as well.  

The makeup was great and the fact that you do not see the gore and violence with most of it being implied I like better then a giant gore fest that so many flicks have become in later years

Honestly I would say if you enjoy decent written and performed horror movies this should be something you seek out.  

Movie Review: Bottom 100: Glitter

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you have found this entry.  Today I am watching the 2001 flick Glitter.  It stars Mariah Carey, Eric Benét and Max Beesley.  "A young singer dates a disc jockey who helps her get into the music business, but their relationship become complicated as she ascends to super stardom."  I do not know anything about this flick other then as of 7/21/18 it is #18 on the bottom 100. 

• Well this is not a bad way to start a flick, decent music
• That scene seemed out of place and just there...weird....I can see pacing/storyline is probably going to be a problem
• Born Under a Bad Sign should be a song that young lady sings I think
• What was the point of that?  Yeah the scenes and pacing of this are flick are bad already
• OH MY GOD SHE IS AWFUL!
• Good grief the extras are awful in club scenes
• Sadly the music did NOT stay good and the acting is even worse!
• The way the one girl with the Michigan Sweats on makes me very embarrassed to be a fan!
• This DJ seems EXTREMELY douchy if you ask me, like a poor mans Marky Mark mixed with "I only hit you because I love you baby" 
• What is with the random slowmo and jump cuts?
• Daddy?
• It is sad that Carey can actually sing and usually does that screeching that she does
• Why is she just in lingerie?
• If Dice told me I was alive I would have to check my pulse because I would not believe anything he said
• I think Dice is allergic to sleeves
• This might surprise some of my readers but I have never been to a dance club...and I blame movies like this because it looks HORRIBLE
• Oh shit Dice has sleeves on!!
• This meeting looks like the rainbow coalition, one of every race color and creed
• Because nothing bad can happen in three minutes!
• What?  They are kissing?  NO!
• For just having "slept together" they look very clean and kept
• So many of these scenes are pointless!
• Good grief this music video is awful!
• This flick seems like a bunch of sketches thrown together into a flick
• Strangely I agree with Dice, the whole sex thing is not needed with real talent
• No one has bought him anything before?  Really?  
•  She can play the piano?
• I hate having my back to doors because of that, creepy guys watching me...
• What the fuck is up with those outfits...maybe I have not watched enough award shows
• Yep he is the "I only hit you because I love you" type guy
• Of course she forgives him for him being an asshole
• That was screaming?
• Like they would really send her to bail Dice out...good grief
• How can she walk down the street without people knowing its her?
• Wait..he has a piano?  
• Yep, you need to have a verbally abusive guy in your life
• So that is where Miz got it from, my hand goes up your mouth goes shut!
• If we all clap our hands and hope enough Dice will live!

Well that was not a good film that is for sure.  Does it belong in the bottom 100...not at 18 that is for sure.  It is not the 18th worse flick on IMDB for sure.  I realize there is a number of votes requirements and what not but this does not deserve to be near the top.

The pacing is bad and the acting is subpar but I blame the director and editor actually.  There were glimpses of decent acting and it shows me that it was possible.  They just needed the right directions.  Also the writer was awful.  I feel like they needed to let these people be themselves so to speak because a lot of the dialog seemed force

Overall I give it a 4/10, twice the current rating because it does NOT deserve a 2 in my opinion!

Movie Review: Bottom 100: Dragonball Evolution

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening....whenever it is you have found this entry.  Today, 7/15/18, I am checking out the IMDB Bottom 100 flick Dragonball Evolution.  It is currently #20 on the list.  "The young warrior Son Goku sets out on a quest, racing against time and the vengeful King Piccolo, to collect a set of seven magical orbs that will grant their wielder unlimited power."  It stars Justin Chatwin, James Marsters and Yun-Fat Chow.  It currently has a 2.6 with just over 63k in votes.

• Wow they are right into this...no intro...guess this is just for fans
• Did they just say that the first rule is there are no rules?  Seriously?
• The old man is cheating, he has a stick....well he did have a stick
• So he is going to a crazy old man to be taught how to be normal?  Probably not the best approach sunshine
• So they can just run people over and nothing is done...movie logic is so weird
• Uggg, that haircut!  Even I know it is bad
• What the fuck was that?  Some random day dream?
• So Dragonball is about high school bullies?
• Why did he dump his drink out?
• Does he go to kung fu high school?
• Bumblebee really wanted to stay in car form to take that abuse! 
• If she liked different why did she date stereotypical high school bully?
• Wait...what did Pikachu do to the old man?  Stop his heart?  Make his foot hurt?  I honestly could not tell
• I will say this flick has decent pacing thus far.  Not a good movie but so far it has decent pacing
• Is that Sholin Soccer on the wall?
• What the hell are they talking about?  Stars?  None of this makes sense!
• Good god who wrote this!
• So this is what made the family in Shameless turn to drugs, the oldest daughter being in this movie!
• Getting his clock cleaned?  
• I am so confused...are the characters in the Anime this stupid?
• He is just running after the car?  
• Who possibly read this script and thought "yeah this is going to be a good one!"
• Bulma actress Emmy Rossum has said its the worst of her career and that it is even worse while stoned.  How bad is a movie that is WORSE while stoned?
• Oh Ernie Hudson...I am so sorry 
• Wait...they are flirting now?
• Again I had no idea Dragonball was a teenage coming of age drama
• Do they explain how Chi-Chi and Bulma know each other?
• Seriously why Ernie?  Not getting enough residuals from Ghostbusters and Crow?
• Such dramatic boot putting on 
• So he is now a wereape?
• Oh good they repeated that rules line
• So Chi-Chi is completely pointless in the flick

I really do not know what to say about this flick.  It was no horrible but it was extremely confusing for a non-fan and probably a fan if it does not really follow the stories of the anime.  For me i had no idea what was happening often and they said words but those words did not make sense.  Randomly talking about stars and fighting and people just being friends.  I do not get it.  

The pacing was good, at no point was I bored with the flick but I was often confused.  Why was Chi-Chi there?  Why was the random surfer guy there?  What is the timeline for this?  There are so many questions that there are no answers to.  

The actors did the best they could with what they were given I feel.  I do not blame them for this horribleness, I blame the writers and director.  I wonder if there is a better possible cut and may be they had a really bad editor or something as well.  

Overall I think the 2.6 is probably correct and I give it a 3/10.  This is because of the pacing of the flick and the acting was good for what they had.  

I really cannot say to watch this flick.  There is nothing good enough to put 85 minutes of your life into the viewing of this flick unless you are like me and like to watch bad movies.  

Until next time...remember....

Movie Review: Truman Show

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you have found this entry.  Today, 7/7/18, I am watching the Truman Show.  "An insurance salesman/adjuster discovers his entire life is actually a television show."  It stars Jim Carrey, Ed Harris and Laura Linney  I remember liking the flick when I saw it lets see how it holds up.

• I am surprised we have not seen this done yet
• It would be very hard to explain that...oh yeah using the old airplane in trouble excuse!
• Good grief I would punch Truman even if I was on a TV Show
• That is how celebrity stalkers start
• That is how I feel about public transportation too!
• Yeah everyone LOVES desk jobs!
• Where the hell is Fiji?  Did they pick the dumbest people to stock the island?
• That moon looks SO fake....oh right
• Oh right they "killed off" his dad
• How did these issues not happen before?
• They are going to have to build a psycho ward after these few days
• You would think that a show going this long would have a better wardrobe budget!
• I would shove that trumpet up his ass!
• How would she keep getting on set?  It makes no sense
• That car is pretty good at driving on the beach and loose sands
• Seriously they have not had any issues and suddenly several in two days?  Very strange and convenient!
• THAT WAS ASSAULT!
• Yeah Truman is going away for a while....to the looney bin!
• And I thought I was going to get to see an amputation
• This movie works so well because Carrey plays crazy so well
• FOREST FIRE!
• I am going to start doing a promo for things randomly in my life
• Oh right pig vomit is in this flick
• Really?  The return of the dad?  Jumping the shark boys and girls!
• I wish my life was manipulated like this sometimes, always good things it seems
• Mr. Burns!
• Well he is a manipulator but so is everyone for someone are they not?
• He might be suspicious now if he was not already
• Where is Capt. Mike Rotunda when you need him?
• Bonus points for those who got that reference
• How does he know how to sail?
• Talk about a true god complex
• Talk about needing a lot of therapy!
• Truman is like a whale in captivity, he cannot survive in the real world.  Should have killed him in the storm!
• Why would people be happy?  The show is over

I gave this a 7/10 last time I rated this and I think it stands there.  IMDB has it at a 8.1/10 and I cannot argue with that just not there for me.  Enjoyable and probably his best work but it is also kind of artsy for my taste.  

The supporting cast is really what makes the movie in my opinion.  The best friend and the director are both fantastic performers.  

I think it would have been a fascinating flick to have been done as a real movie only to find it all out at the end that it was all manipulated.  Had the viewers be the real "Truman".  Interesting idea but cannot be done in this day and age with spoilers constantly.  

If you have not seen the flick check it out, it is good and has its comedic moments.  If you have seen it it is worth a second viewing in my opinion. 

Until next time...Abyssinia!

Movie Review: Jurassic Dead

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening....whenever it is you have found this blog.  I am back after some time off to deal with personal stuff.  Today, 6/23/18 I am checking out the flick Jurassic Dead.  "A cracked scientist aligns with the Axis of Evil to bring down the US of A with EMP blasts, toxic zombification gas and an unleashing of the ultimate undead killing monstrosity -- the Z-REX"  It stars Matt Block, Cooper Elliott and Ben Johnson.  It currently has a 4.5/10 on IMDB with 98 votes.  I personally can't wait to see some zombie dinosaurs!

• 80 minutes, probably a good running time for this flick
• I already want this soundtrack!
• So it is either get shot in the head or get eaten by a zombie dinosaur...I think I would pick the the gun shot in the head
• The bald guy is the scientist?  Really?  Was Denise Richards busy?  BAM!
• OH MY GOD THE BEST LOOKING DINOSAUR EVER!!

• Seriously that was like the dinosaurs at Dinosaurs Alive at Impression 5 (That is a call back to my elementary days in Charlotte/Lansing Michigan area!)
• What school only has like 10 students in a class?  Couldn't they give out free sandwiches and get more people?
• Oh my god, this acting is awful!
• Is this a found footage flick?  Oh....nope....damn
• I don't think that was a real cigar!
• So...um...no one saw this asteriod coming?  
• Dear lord who wrote this?
• Where are the zombie dinosaurs?  I was promised zombie dinosaurs
• Wait...how is the helicopter still working?  No electronics in that?
• It is nice to Yosemite Sam get work
• 60 miles before nightfall.  Interesting
• How am I suppose to know what is electronically and what is not?  Really?
• Thank god for public domain music!
• What is he shooting at...the gas?
• I was thinking he looked Duke Nukem too!  Or Brian Knobbs if he was skinny

• Is he a mix between Billy and Scare-Crow?
• Wait...did Duke/Knobbs just fight the T-Rex hand to hand and knock it out?
• Why is the T-Rex so small?
• Have they not figured out that they are zombies?
• Wait...are we going to hear redneck take a crap?  Not cool
• Why is this flick celebrating the zombie Knobbs killing redneck guy with his own theme music?
• Really?  Wasting the ammo on the metal door that just fell apart....who wrote this shit?
• No nearly enough zombie dinosaurs eating humans and other dinosaurs and what not

I am so confused about this flick.  I thought only one soldier survived but I saw two plus a girl and why dod they have the dino head on their roof?  Also are they zombies or just flesh eaters?  

• I do not usually add comments here but I think they put more effort into the credits!
• Really?   A post credit scene in this flick?

I have no idea what I just watched.  I feel like the writers had an outline for the flick and just "We don't need anything more than this.  Each card is a scene and we are good."  It was disjointed and confusing and the dialog made what I wrote in Grade School good.  I cannot write dialog worth shit but sweat baby Jesus this made my dialog look like Shakespeare!  

The acting was over the top to just basically said like reading a queue card with no effort.  It was all over the place and not in a good way.  

The dinosaur was awful and made no sense and honestly did not anything to the film.  Could have just been zombies/infected and would have made more sense.  The inclusion of the T-Rex just muddied the waters.

Overall I give this a 3 only because the nerd girl and Duke Knobbs entertained me.  I guess you can watch this if you can find a copy but do not go out of your way.  It is bad and not in an entertaining train wreck sort of way!

Movie Review: Another Yeti a Love Story: Life on the Streets (2017)

Good morning, good afternoon or good afternoon...whenever it is you have come across this flick.  Today, 6/30, I am checking out the flick Another Yeti a Love Story: Life on the Streets.  It currently, and I cannot believe I am typing this, has a 3.7/10 on IMDB with 111 votes.  "After moving to Los Angeles to start anew, Adam, an out of the closet single father of a yeti baby, is dragged into the underground sex trade when his child is kidnapped; Now with the help of his two new friends, a heroin-addicted yeti prostitute and a sexy stripper, they must fight the forces of evil to save the world."  It stars Whitney Moore, Lloyd Kaufman, Tommy Pistol.  Dear lord what am I about to watch...

• I do hate wasting courvoisier too!
• That poor yeti...
• Oh I thought that was a statue's penis but it was not
• How did Adam have a baby yeti...with two males?
• Oh wow...there has been a lot of gay sex references thus far....in the two minutes I've seen
• OH MY GOD THAT IS AWESOME!  THAT BABY YETI IS AWESOME!
• The flop side?
• Why would you kidnap a yeti baby?  
• What in the fuck and I watching?
• The stripper was acting like a cat and then dancing the robot?  I am not drunk enough for this flick!
• Two guys dressed like the president making out?
• That baby yeti just bit her face off!
• Wait...those guys went to a regular strip club and got a tiny dicked guy dancing?
• Alisters dick is bloody!
• How high were the writers of this flick?
• Dr. Lust?
• VCR Repair school?
• Good grief this is just awful!
• So the guy isn't gay after all?
• Ambien makes you tweet racist commons and buy melons instead of porn and booze.  DAMN YOU AMBIEN!
• More penis!
• Oh good yeti vomit
• That is a giant yeti penis
• Dear lord I have seen porn with less penis in it!
• What the fuck in this flick?
• I have never been drunk enough in my life to actually watch this flick

This still is not the worst movie I have ever seen but it is right up there.  It is not special dead bad but dear lord it is only like half a step behind.  It made no sense and the acting is horrible.  There is NO reason to EVER watch this film.  I am so sorry that Whitney Moore did this.  Whitney you are better then this my dear!  Do not watch this and if you do do not blame me. I warned you!