Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever you have found this entry. Today, 2019/02/22 I am checking out the flick S Darko. Today is it #88 on the Bottom 100. "Donnie Darko's little sister, Samantha Darko, and her best friend Corey are on a country-cross road trip. They find themselves entangled in a dangerous glitch in the time-space continuum." It stars Daveigh Chase, Briana Evigan and James Lafferty. It currently has 3.6/10 with 12,343 votes.
I want to be clear, I have not seen Donnie Darko...wonder if that will be needed
She waited 7 years to run away? Who does that?
Why is she so pissed? That can't be the first time
Well this is starting off very strange
And with shitty music
Shouldn't she be waiting near the road not wondering off?
This is going to be a brutal 90+ minutes
I should have had a drink before this; it is not good at all, no wonder it is in the bottom 100
I feel like I have been watching this shitty movie that long!
Men in Black? Really?
2x times is not fast enough
Oh good even more shitty music
Why would she want to she his room? Who wrote this?
Force at work? Evil? Yeah that would be the creators of this movie...evil!
Is that Jesse from Saved by the Bell?
Of course a bunny right? I think that has something to do with the first flick
Honestly, this might be the worst movie that I have ever seen....ever
I wish this movie would have died
dear god, no....they aren't starting this over are they?
This is the worse choice your own adventure ever!
Wait...two days still?
I feel like I have 11 hours left of this flick
30 minutes left and I am about ready to throw the towel in
That might be the worse movie I have ever sat through. Do not EVER watch this. Nothing witty or funny here. Just DO NOT WATCH THIS! Go watch Special Dead or Yeti: A Love Story or the second one or anything but this. New WORST MOVIE EVER! 1/10 only because I don't give zeros!
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening....whenever it is you have found this entry. Today, 10/10/18, I am checking out the foreign flick Race 3. It is currently #36 on the bottom 100 on IMDB. It is sitting at a solid 2.1 currently. "Relationships and loyalties of a criminal family planning its next big heist are tested when some shocking revelations strike them." It stars Anil Kapoor, Salman Khan and Bobby Deol. This is an Indian (possibly Bollywood) flick so I may be off on my judgement, since the dialog will be subtitles. Plus I have not seen Race 1 or 2 (if there is one) so I am sure the plot will be hard to follow (like if you tried to jump in at 2 Fast 2 Furious).
Hell yes that quick music sting got me excited!
That might be the most interesting man alive
Why is the helicopter still going? I thought they usually shut those doen
Oh god grief this is 2.5 hours long!
A pen worth 20k? YES PLEASE!
Weird that there are random English words
I changed my mind, I do not want that pen
This is almost like a James Bond intro!
Oh good grief did this director go to the Michael Bay school of directing? I just watched someone set up a magic mouse!
Next I am going to here "GO GO GO"
ah yeah, "Let the race begin"
Only a few minutes in but the action is pretty damn good thus far
THAT BULLET LIT THAT MAN ON FIRE!!!
They have signals like a ball team!
I know I made a joke about previous movies but I am kind of lost on characters but that could be normal
Well the car chase was good, this factory fight scene not so much
How are they missing them?
Now I now why it is 2.5 hours long, they have constant slow mo in the fights!
Is that guy the Terminator?
Sexy uncle?
He married his dead brothers wife?
What the fuck is happening right now?
Ah yes the random music video within the movie
I really have no idea what is happening in this flick
A check worth 1 billion dollars? REALLY!
Aside from the plot this flick is good. The acting seems decent, the action good, the actually filming of the flick. I just struggle to follow the plot as at times the dialog is quick and I feel like I am missing things with the subtitles
Ah yes the internal drama!
THIS DANCING IS AWESOME!
More US flicks need random dance numbers!
In all seriousness I do not understand the language but this tune and beat is really catchy...I just caught myself tapping my foot to the beat
Seriously the random English is messing with my mind!
Nice job of keeping the clock in the background close to right
Was that Sheamus?!?!
Of course, never trust a pretty face
INTERMISSION!!!
Okay the plot is starting to clear up, I blame my co-watcher Sailor Jerry
What is with this Sexy Uncle stuff?
MORE DANCE NUMBERS!
Well that did not go as planned...or did it?
Double crosses abound!
That explosion looked awful!
This flick is too long, honestly I have lost interest at this point and still have about an hour
Sikku looks a little bit like a really buff Zach Levi (Chuck)
I feel like I need a score card to figure out who is on whose side
And the shirts come off!
This flick probably does not belong in the bottom 100. I can only give one real bad point to the flick. It is LONG. I mean had two birthdays during this flick long. It really is about 45 minutes too long. Its like Race 3 and Race 4 were forced into one film.
Overall I feel like with some editing this could have been a decent flick. With that said I give it a 5/10 mostly because of the length. If they shaved some time off I think I would give it a better rating.
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you have found this entry. Today, 8/15/18, I am checking out the Bottom 100 flick Gigli. It stars Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez, and Justin Bartha. "Larry Gigli is assigned by a crime boss to kidnap the brother of a prominent district attorney. A beautiful woman known only as Ricki is sent to stay with him to make sure he doesn't mess up the job."
Always good to start with a voice over!
Oh no voice over, talking to a guy in a dryer...of course
That accent is awful!
Why do mobsters always talk like this? You know in a certain way that is obvious but not if you get what I am saying
Wow...so basically this kid is a very poor mans Rain Man
Now I know why they decided that this guy was not in Hangover very much, they were afraid he would be like this
Good grief but the dialogue in this flick makes my head hurt!
OH MY GOD, THIS IS TWO HOURS LONG! WHY DEAR LORD IN HEAVEN WHY!
The writer and director retired after this. Probably should have done that before doing this flick!
According to IMDB the word "fuck" is used one hundred twenty-four times.
Sweet baby Jesus...this script is awful
Supposedly the director based Brian on real mental patients.
Wait...how did they remove the mental patient with no one noticing? As someone who has been in a mental ward, you do NOT just walk in and out
I did NOT pay to see this but I am demanding my money back and the salary of Ben and Jennifer, which was 25.5 million or in that neighbourhood
Really? REALLY! This scene got left in somehow?
Halle Berry was correct in dropping out of this shit!
Good grief he basically just did the Tommy Boy gun show point!
Why do they always make mobsters dress the same...or do they actually dress like that? If so why not just round up all the bad dressers!
Why did he let Walken in? And how can he make this scene tolerable when it should have been dreadful!
How did this script become an actual film?
I am only an hour into this flick? I should be drinking
Random suicide scene to show their humanity of course
Why take Brian...oh of course for comedic purposes!
A butter knife? Can you cut off a thumb with a butter knife?
Yep... of course, he starts singing Big Butts while he is doing this
I do like Afflecks hair in this flick though, I would look good with that cut
Wait...fingerprints and spit
Dykeasaurs Rex? Nice!
Turkey Time?
Most guys need a handicap for life lets be honest!
Time for the awkward love scene when Brian walks in right?
Bet Larry is regretting not taking the blondes offer of a threesome now! Haha
Why? Dear lord why is he in this flick?
Was that Dory eating that guys brain? Is that how she become stupid?
So Lewis...or Louis....or Luis...or however they spell it did all this on his own is that what he is implying
Wow they really just had her talk to the mob boss like that huh
Hey there is Baywatch!
Okay Brian talking to the girl in pink made me smile
Dear lord that was bad. I mean that was painful to watch. The script might be one of the worst scripts I have ever seen made. I am talking Birdemic and Room level bad. The guy who wrote Scent of a Women wrote this huh? I have not seen Scent of a Woman but makes me wonder about that flick. I know the blind car driving scene gets mocked a lot so maybe there is a reason for that.
As for the story itself, it was there. It was flat in my opinion. For some reason the mobster with a heart of gold just does not usually fit. There was no reason for him to be that way...oh right Ricky and Brian changed him in just a couple of days.
The acting was horrible between Ben and Jennifer. I mean those two were so damn flat and there was no chemistry there in my opinion.
The character of Brian, Justin Bartha, actually grew on me near the end. The character itself seemed more toned down the further into the flick and that was needed. Early on it was so over the top it was like a parody of Rain Main.
Also there were just random scenes like Walken and Pacino randomly there for one scene that really did not mean much of anything.
Overall I think the current rating of 2.4 is correct. I give it 2/10. It was extremely poorly performed by the main actors, poorly directed, poorly written and poorly editted. It took the top 5 Razzies the year it came out for a reason boys and girls.
I can NOT give you any reaosn to watch this flick. If you have 121 minutes to waste got watch 6 episodes of Bobs Burgers!
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you have found this entry. Today, 8/11/18, I am checking out the bottom 100 flick Alone in the Dark. It stars Christian Slater, Tara Reid and Stephen Dorff (good grief, who thought that would be a good cast...oh of course it is Uwe Boll!) "A detective of the paranormal slowly unravels mysterious events with deadly results." There is no way that this movie did NOT end up in the bottom 100! It currently has a 2.3/10 with nearly 40k worth of votes. Lets go see why the only people who saw this movie did so alone...while in the dark!
I am glad they are reading the scroll, that is a shit ton to read! This is a movie not a book damn it!
Of course it is the fault of the Native Americans! Look what they did to that poor family in Poltergeist!
Your mom is a bitch that did not teach you to keep that trap of yours shut!
Wait there are more voiceovers?
That is the kid from Rampage series by the same director! He is actually pretty good
Random taxi chase! YES!
He just karate kicked that guy like 15 feet!
Good grief Boll is SUCH a bad director and almost all his movies are so bad, I am not drunk enough for this flick!
There are still ice factories in America in 2005? Where? Why?
Good grief, Tara is a curator? I am not sure if she can even walk into a museum let alone run one!
Yeah, that guy is probably just going to load it on the truck, not steal something that is SOLID GOLD
Oh he did not even bother to wait till it was on the truck, he just opened it. Even though the guy said it kept back evil? Greed is a powerful thing
Oh shit, you are in trouble dude, the lights are flashing, that means you are fucked!
Who are these people?
Reid looks so weird now with her...um...enhancements
Again...random voiceovers!
So many pointless scenes
Reids acting is just as bad without her enhancements though
bad CGI or worst CGI?
Night at the Museum sure did not make it seem as dangerous as it really is. Look at this flick and Relic and the like!
Three person team....and they split up?
Wait...I thought they split up? Who directed this...oh right...
Yeah you are not 713 anymore buddy!
Its like a really bad video game plot...with a writer who is 12 years old
WTF? Random sex scene for no reason what so ever
She made no noise what so ever, she should have atleast went "offff" or something like that right?
Wait...why not give the wife an insect thing too?
My god she is awful, I do not believe she even knows what most of those words mean!
I think he has the best karate kicks in the history of kicks!
Ah yes the classic Boll shooting scene. I think he does one of these scenes in every one of his flicks!
Wait...they are zombies like creatures now that eat people?
Why take the civilian?
In the trivia over on IMDB even Boll regrets casting Reid in this flick, how sad is that!
The flick is not over yet but I will tell you that this flick is easily a 1/10
Why did that guy CHARGE the killer monsters?
Its like they took everything good from the Alien flicks and ruined it and bastardized it into something horrible
Okay this flick is going on WAY too long and it is only 100 or some minutes, should have been 80ish at most!
Wait why did he open teh door and take the bomb out of the room? I am confused!
So by opening the door all people were killed? Thanos should have just opened that door!
Well that was one of the worst things I have ever sat through. I have nothing good to say about it. The acting was unbelievable and the CGI was bad. There was nothing good about it. Nothing. I am sorry for everyone involved in this film. Do NOT watch this film...ever!
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you have found this entry. Today I am watching the 2001 flick Glitter. It stars Mariah Carey, Eric Benét and Max Beesley. "A young singer dates a disc jockey who helps her get into the music business, but their relationship become complicated as she ascends to super stardom." I do not know anything about this flick other then as of 7/21/18 it is #18 on the bottom 100.
Well this is not a bad way to start a flick, decent music
That scene seemed out of place and just there...weird....I can see pacing/storyline is probably going to be a problem
Born Under a Bad Sign should be a song that young lady sings I think
What was the point of that? Yeah the scenes and pacing of this are flick are bad already
OH MY GOD SHE IS AWFUL!
Good grief the extras are awful in club scenes
Sadly the music did NOT stay good and the acting is even worse!
The way the one girl with the Michigan Sweats on makes me very embarrassed to be a fan!
This DJ seems EXTREMELY douchy if you ask me, like a poor mans Marky Mark mixed with "I only hit you because I love you baby"
What is with the random slowmo and jump cuts?
Daddy?
It is sad that Carey can actually sing and usually does that screeching that she does
Why is she just in lingerie?
If Dice told me I was alive I would have to check my pulse because I would not believe anything he said
I think Dice is allergic to sleeves
This might surprise some of my readers but I have never been to a dance club...and I blame movies like this because it looks HORRIBLE
Oh shit Dice has sleeves on!!
This meeting looks like the rainbow coalition, one of every race color and creed
Because nothing bad can happen in three minutes!
What? They are kissing? NO!
For just having "slept together" they look very clean and kept
So many of these scenes are pointless!
Good grief this music video is awful!
This flick seems like a bunch of sketches thrown together into a flick
Strangely I agree with Dice, the whole sex thing is not needed with real talent
No one has bought him anything before? Really?
She can play the piano?
I hate having my back to doors because of that, creepy guys watching me...
What the fuck is up with those outfits...maybe I have not watched enough award shows
Yep he is the "I only hit you because I love you" type guy
Of course she forgives him for him being an asshole
That was screaming?
Like they would really send her to bail Dice out...good grief
How can she walk down the street without people knowing its her?
Wait..he has a piano?
Yep, you need to have a verbally abusive guy in your life
So that is where Miz got it from, my hand goes up your mouth goes shut!
If we all clap our hands and hope enough Dice will live!
Well that was not a good film that is for sure. Does it belong in the bottom 100...not at 18 that is for sure. It is not the 18th worse flick on IMDB for sure. I realize there is a number of votes requirements and what not but this does not deserve to be near the top.
The pacing is bad and the acting is subpar but I blame the director and editor actually. There were glimpses of decent acting and it shows me that it was possible. They just needed the right directions. Also the writer was awful. I feel like they needed to let these people be themselves so to speak because a lot of the dialog seemed force
Overall I give it a 4/10, twice the current rating because it does NOT deserve a 2 in my opinion!
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you have come across this entry. Today, 12/31/17, I am watching the bottom 100 flick Laserblast! "A teenager stumbles upon an alien weapon, which transforms him into a grotesque killer." It stars Kim Milford, Cheryl Smith and Gianni Russo. It currently has a rating of 2.5 with 4890 votes.
My wife says it has green lettering it has to be bad...we shall see!
Roddy McDowell is in this
I'm just going to quote my wife "Why does he look like Mick Jagger"
I've seen worse CGI in modern SyFy flicks
That is an "ET Dinosaur" according to my better half
I'm sorry now it is a Mick Jagger Zombie
70's pants and ass
"My mom still has that luggage" - Wife
Is that his mom?
Wow...the dialog is AMAZING!
The 70's, when shirts were optional EVERYWHERE! This guy has not had one on yet
What is on the back of the van...a turkey?
So the "col." is wasted/high/shell shocked right?
Cops were almost always fat and stupid in 70's movies
Yes red neck honky tonk music for the cops!
Yeah...how is your momma these days?
Why does he have bigfoot prints on his van?
Jeebus cars flipped easier in the 70's I guess
He is going to race...in a van?
Best laugh in movie HISTORY!!!
The gun shoots on its own?
Is that a potato gun?
Is this guy a pre-teen?
Looks a little like a penis pump....I heard....um....
Why the sudden music?
You can tell they are aliens; they only have three fingers
Is that guy a man in black?
That is a lot of skin for the deserts
Is that the mothers of dragons?
Is that cake or a pancake?
France exploded their 28th atom bomb? Really?
Oh a rape scene....how nice....with the nerds?
Watch out...he has a tennis racket...like Jim Cornette!
Those are some 70's shorts or Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders
That laser gun is giving that guy an orgasm I think!
Yep he was a man in black
That was a Star Trek panel!
So he is full zombie with a laser gun now
Yeah that flick was bad. I mean it was just bad! The dialog was bad and the acting was bad. I do not have much to say about this flick. DO NOT WATCH IT!!
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you have come across this review. Today I am checking out the Bottom 100 flick Devil Fish. As of 12/03/17 it is #97 with 2.4 rating with 2681 votes. It stars Michael Sopkiw, Valentine Monnier and Gianni Garko. "A marine biologist, a dolphin trainer, a research scientist, and a local sheriff try to hunt down a large sea monster, a shark/octopus hybrid, that is devouring swimmers and fishermen off a south Florida coast." FYI: I could not find a real trailer for this flick...probably not a good sign!
Monster Shark? I thought this was called Devil Fish...it cannot even get its name right? Good grief maybe I should have viewed this at home with a bottle of rum!
Wow those coast guard guys are well trained what with the yelling as they jump 10 feet...if that
And I would think they would have better masks then that, I think I did as a kid in our pool!
cheese 80's stash, very nice!
Donald and Minnie? Why mix the names
With it coming right at the boat it sure didn't do anything to said boat
JESUS! Did you see the arms on Cortez!
80's acting was really the peak of acting
Awesome back talk!
80's background music was great too
That is 80's hair at its best...and I think my mom's hair cut now.....
There are the 80's boobs, no reason for them but there they are
Did he just tell her to "croak"?
I feel like the video game girl is very close to underage
Is this softcore porn?
That water was a lot deeper that he was in....wasn't it?
How would they get the size?
The actors cannot keep their accents straight!
The seaquarium?
That might be the most advanced tech possible in 1984
They need to fiddle with knobs a lot back in the 80's
Why was he trying to save the guy BEFORE he flatlined?
Protosharks?
So it is part shark part squid?
12 Ton boat?
WTF kind of bathing suit is that?
What kind of beer cans are those?
There is a killer prehistoric fish in the water killing people...lets go for a swim!
This might be the worst paced movie I have seen for a while
And another random love scene....
Probably should yell behind you BEFORE the tentacle grabs him...just a thought
I think that computer is related to K-9
This flick might be the longer 90 minutes ever
Ah yes the shot of the guy walking through the office
Of course it is just a guy creating it
Too old for science? Does that happen?
And the award for best death scene goes to Dr. Davis!
A monster killer fish is on the way....so why not be in the water....uggg movie logic sometimes
Probably shouldn't have drug him through the water just in case
How did it get get dark so suddenly?
How did they lose the GIANT MONSTER FISH?
Uggg, the logic is driving me insane!
That is how they decided to end the flick huh?
This movie isn't bad as much as it is campy and dumb. I think the ratings are about right, I give it a 3/10. It is right on the cusp of being one of the bottom 100 flicks I have seen but not sure if I would put it on the list. Borderline for sure.
The effects are campy but it was the 80's. The acting is campy but was the 80's. I mean the entire thing screams of 80's movie to be honest. There is nothing horrible about it nothing good. Like a few of the bad movies I have watched lately, it is not bad enough to laugh at and not quite campy enough to be enjoyable. It was just there for me unfortunately.
Overall if you are into bad movies I guess this one fits but there are more enjoyable bad movies out there!
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is that you have come across this entry. Today, 10/09/17, I am checking out a bottom 100 flick, #99 as of today, Meet the Spartans. It stars Sean Maguire, Kevin Sorbo and Carmen Electra. "The heroic Spartan king Leonidas, armed with nothing but leather underwear and a cape, leads a ragtag bunch of 13 Spartan misfit warriors to defend their homeland against thousands". It currently has a 2.7 out of 10 with 92,906 votes. I think I have seen this before so I am going to punish myself one more time for my dozens and dozens of readers. The things I do for you people!
Oh good grief...what am I doing to myself?
These jokes are dated! I mean so much so that people won't understand them
Really? I don't think we needs to see shots of his balls
So this is the comedy of this flick huh? This flick is already too long!
4 minutes in and already two balls jokes? Really?
Really mocking Anna Nicole's death?
I am ashamed this movie was made and I had nothing to do with it!
I never noticed Carmen had such weird/bad teeth
Is this going to be one long gay joke?
Okay that name was funny, Traitoro
Why does "Britney" have a British Accent? Or was that a Southern Accent
I don't even know who that guy with the hair was!
This pit of death joke should go into the pit of death!
Yep gay jokes
He is right, this isn't funny!
Is it wrong that I already want to give this a 1
I want to cut my own throat right now instead of finishing this, seriously this is awful
Wait...he doesn't have any balls anymore?
A cheap ripoff of 300 would actually be good compared to this dreck
Did I say I'm ashamed this movie was made yet?
My god....
I can't believe they didn't screen this for critics....it would have killed most
Seriously one gay joke would have been okay but so far every scene....really?
I don't get it...Paris Hilton...
Can you believe this flick was filmed in a week? I can't because it couldn't have taken that long!
I'd rather be watching one of those stupid dance battle flicks I think
Yeah this flick is getting a 1, only because I can't give it a negative number
Another reality show reference?
But aren't all Spartans gay in this flick?
Yet another gay joke....
Seriously?
I wish I couldn't see or hear
You honestly couldn't pay me enough to be in this movie....no amount of money
I still don't get the Paris Hilton thing
I still have 34 minutes of this shit?
Is this a movie scene or did they stumble upon Carmen off camera?
There we go, it'd been a while since we had a balls joke
And there we have yet another gay joke, excellent
I wonder if anyone laughed at this movie
Thank god they explained that "joke"
Once again if you have to explain the jokes that much it is a bad joke
If he is dead why another 20 minutes?
Again aren't they all gay?
So many crotch blurs
This stupid dance scene probably took up two or three days of filming which probably should've been spent working on the script!
Why would they want to eat at Hooters?
So they didn't put these scenes in the movie but it is so bad and short they had to extend the credits?
Thank god an Episode of Psych is next in my queue! (laughed more in the first 5 minutes then in the 80 minutes of this flick for the record!)
That...that was one of the most painful yet. I honestly don't know why I didn't shut it off. Yes I do because I assumed it couldn't be this bad the entire time...and it was. It was maybe the most unfunny thing I've seen in my entire life. Well that and all of their other movies. Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are perhaps the most unfunny people in Hollywood. They have a Star Wars spoof coming out according to IMDB and I wish I could already give it a 1.
Seriously do not watch this shit, I am ashamed it was made an that anyone watched it. It actually made 8 million dollars which is even worse. Avoid this and anything by these idiots!
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, whenever it is you have come across this entry. Today (9/7/17) I am checking out another bottom 100 flick, this time #88, it currently has a 2.4/10 on IMDB. Theodore Rex It stars Whoopi Goldberg, Armin Mueller-Stahl and Juliet Landau. "In an alternate futuristic society, a tough female police detective is paired with a talking dinosaur to find the killer of dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals leading them to a mad scientist bent on creating a new Armageddon." This sounds like a bad alternate version of Zootopia...only not good! So lets go find out how this movie could possible be in the bottom 100!
Is that a poor mans James Earl Jones?
That guy has great hair
Isn't that T-Rex from the Disney Dinosaurs show?
Well that makes sense, it would have to have a place for his tail
How did she miss the cop?
Hudson Hawk did this drag the person behind the vehicle better
Good grief, he rambles more than the Doctor!
That tail joke is going to get old...oh wait it already is
Wow who thought these character choices were good ideas?
This is painful
I wonder how this has a 2.4...how?
The things I do for my dozens and dozens of readers! You all owe me very much big time!
Did the prop crew buy an old carnival?
Oh my god, how did anyone think this was funny
I should have watched this while off work so I could drink, it is that painful
Butt trumpet? MY GOD!
Too bleeping small? Bleeping!
Yes just hit buttons, that will give you the access code!
She can't move but can sit down?
Why did the car blow up?
That was just plain bad. Honestly that was bad. I can't give a good reason to watch this movie. I give it a 1/10.
Honestly I can't say one good thing about this flick. Not one. Usually I can find one good reason to watch a flick but this falls in the rare flick that has nothing going for it. The writing was awful. The actors ate so much scenery that that is where the budget had to go for the flick.
Nothing redeeming about this, it is so bad that I can't even say it is fun to watch. It just a bad bad movie. Avoid this at all cost!
This is me right now, afraid there could be a second one of these movies coming
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, whenever it is you are reading this review. After taking sometime off for personal reasons (one being I am getting married in less then 90 days!) I am back for another bottom 100 flick. This time it is a recent film that has already reached the top of the bottom...or whatever. It is currently #11 (as for 08/10/17) which is something for such a new movie! It has a 1.8. "Gene (SHUT UP WITH THE JOKES, THIS IS MY BLOG, I DO THE JOKING AROUND HERE), a multi-expressional emoji, sets out on a journey to become a normal emoji." It stars T.J. Miller, James Corden and Anna Faris. Remember boys and girls...I watch this so you don't have to!
What fresh hell is this? Oh a Hotel Transylvania short. Just what the world was asking for!
This alone makes this horrible!
When does the funny start?
Ah yes, the funny starts with the giant dog attacking the "bones family reunion"
Get it, they are skeletons...ha ha
Well that is true, people do love phones!
That was almost funny, who does type full words...oh wait this guy does
Being meh isn't that hard, I do it all the time
Wait...why are they scared? Because he wasn't meh? That doesn't make sense
None of this makes sense
Good grief, does Patrick Stewart have no no response?
I am 12 minutes in and I have to step away....
And I'm back...dear lord are they going to break into a song?
I ask again...when does the funny start?
Lots of unfunny poop jokes
They are going to KILL HIM?!
Nice product placement, candy crush was so 10 years ago
A shit ton of product placement in this flick
Uggg the dialog to fit in with product placement is horrible.
I forgot how annoying I find Steven Wrights voice
Uggg, TJ Miller is even annoying just in his voice
Of course the robots can dance
So they are implying that deleting the app kills the people in the app? GOOD GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE OVER THE YEARS!
This is like a poor mans Wreck-It Ralph
So...this basically sets up that each phone is its only universe with its own versions of each of these characters...they are basically preaching the multiverse theory aren't they?
Ah the old tie the tentacles into a knot trick
Oh, so that is why they call it a firewall
The twitter bird? Really?
And Gene saved the day by being a freak...of course
Well that was not good! I guess it doesn't quite deserve a 1.8 as it isn't that bad but it isn't much better. I say it is a 3/10. It was uninspired and honestly it is basically just a cheap Wreck-It Ralph knock off. But it is missing what make Ralph good.
This flick had poor voice acting and no heart. It honestly was missing the heart that Ralph had. I know it is a kids flick but that doesn't mean it has to be bad. The storyline of being yourself is good but overall, as I said, it feels uninspired.
Overall I guess maybe pre-teens would find it funny but I just didn't. I can't say to go see it. If you've seen Wreck-It Ralph then you have and if you haven't go watch that instead!
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is that you have come across this entry. This time I'm looking at #72 of the the Bottom 100 on IMDB (as of 4/29/17) Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. It stars John Call, Leonard Hicks and Vincent Beck. "The Martians kidnap Santa Claus because there is nobody on Mars to give their children presents." This makes sense that the elfs are actually martians!
Oh wow...this starts amazingly!
KID TV? Nice
It is the doorman from the Jeffersons!
Wow, that elf wasn't even hitting the "toy"
What the hell just happened? Did she have a fit?
Mr. Anderson? Neo looks different then I remember
These are Martians?
Forgot how to sleep? That is like forgetting how to sweep...which someone told me once....
Hamburger? They have cows on Mars?
Sleep Spray? Nice
Voldar seems thrilled
Childrens bodies but adult minds? What?
This flick is so bad it keeps locking up on Amazon Prime ha ha
Oh shit, this is where Michael Bay got his idea of ALWAYS putting in some random military scene
Well that was pretty blunt, we're from Mars
Nice, stock footage of mid air refueling, always cool
Dropo is a good name for a band!
Torg?
Whole US Space Force? That's a thing?
Good thing isn't -91 at the south pole
How'd the kids get out before Kimar and company?
Voldar doesn't like you Betty, and neither do I!
BEST POLAR BEAR EVER!
Wait...so Martian Manhunter is of these guys? I will not be able to John the same way again!
Martian Monkeys?
Always? You just meet Dropo how can he always make you laugh?
They kind of made Santa a moron in this flick
Old movies always seem to have a karate chops in fights
Why would the workshop close? It is all automated isn't it?
Is that Jamie Farr? Nope he isn't credited but sure looks like Klinger
How would switching the bulbs change anything? Wait, that is how you turn the machine on and off? Weird
Why would they meet again? They're literally worlds apart
Well that was bad but very entertaining. This shouldn't be on the bottom 100. This is just hokey and old. That isn't a bad thing. This was kind of entertaining and I almost want to make it a holiday tradition to watch this.
Was it a good flick? No but it is also over 50 years old, very few films hold up for 50+ years. I can't say to go watch it but there are worst ways to waste 90ish minutes!
Today I'm checking out #56 on the Bottom 100. Kyaa Kool Hain Hum 3. It stars Tusshar Kapoor, Aftab Shivdasani and Krishna Abhishek. "A porn actor uses his fellow adult movie stars in creating a fake traditional family, in order to impress his girlfriend's conservative father." Yeah...this sounds like a winner for sure!
Uggg, subtitles, I need to learn languages and shit
Wait...is this animated?
I feel like I'm going to be watching that bad Adam Sandler hairdresser flick
Anytime a song says We are so cool that obviously means they aren't
I'm not sure if this is going to be safe for work....
The sheets and pillow cases are American flags? Weird
Good grief this is already bad
Did that lady just drink a random mans coffee?
I have to watch 2 hours of this? I won't survive
Seeing red makes him crosseyed? Why?
What is with all the random sound effects?
He googled "Hot videos"...really?
This is a hot video?
What in the hell is going on? This is probably normal for a Hindu flick but I'm confused, why is there suddenly a music video in the middle of this movie
Tusshar Kapoor eats more scenery than Jim Carrey! However I guess he went to the University of Michigan so he can't be all bad!
Aftab Shivdasani looks like the Hindi version of Colt Cabana...extra points for anyone who gets that reference!
Right onto the laps...yep....this is like the Hindi version of all the spoof movies that are just horrible sex jokes written for 12 year olds, and not the funny ones
Wait...he has random guys in short shorts and suspenders dancing in his front lawn...that is...odd
I still have 90 minutes?
Good grief more 12 year old humor
This is just painful; but at least I am getting another music video
I guess my dream of being the biggest star in Hindu movies won't happen as I can't dance and that apperas to be required
I think his dream girl ages a few years every time he sees her
So this guy looks like he is jerking off in public, spills a coffee on a lady, causes a major accident and face plants into a girl breast and this girl is just like yes lets go out on a date? I'll never understand movie logic!
They are nervous now? Is this their first time...even though we've seen multiple scenes already? I'm so confused by this flick
That horse just farted into a candle...yep it is officially like a Wayans brother flicks
And we're officially in Threes Company territory, where is Mr. Furley?
What in the hell is going on?
This is long and painful
I just realized that Mickey looks like a fat Michael Pena
Music Video #3 boys and girls!
She just sang I'm like Lady Gaga....no I won't make my usual Lady Gaga comment....
Now they're going to do a movie shoot with all this going on? OF COURSE! Why not complicate this flick even more
Ah yes the Whose Harry Crumb footsy gimmick, very nice
Wow this flick actually made me chuckle
More sex pill jokes? Really?
This is the longest 2 hours of my life!
He rides a jet ski in a suit?
That is a dude! Yep...its his friend and future son in law....how could this get more complicated?
And of course he looks just like his dead future mother in law
They sell porn in the mall? Very nice
Yeah that won't look weird, buying ALL the porn in the place
He has a 5 o'clock shadow and yet getting hit on!
and it goes on the store tv's for sure
Nope I was wrong...nope...I was right!
Maybe it is funny in the Natural language
This beach has quicksand?
Yes, the fastest way to travel in the world....Hot Air Balloon! BRILLIANT!
Well that is two hours I won't get back. It was just horrible and I laughed once. My only guess is that it losses something while not understanding the language.
The idea wasn't funny. The acting was over the top. I found nothing good about this film. I hate reviewing foreign films for this reason but ....
Okay let me rant for a second. I just watched a foreign porn-com (their word not mine) and what does Netflix put up for me to watch next? Dear White People...yep I see how these two are related, they are both "comedies" so why not right?
Anyway, overall I give this a 1 because I was bored and it was painful. Avoid this...but if you want to check it out it is on Netflix right now!
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you have found this entry. I'm back with another Bottom 100 movie review. This time it is the 1944 flick I Accuse my Parents. "Young man goes to work for gangsters to impress his nightclub-singer girlfriend." As of 12/31/16 this has a rating of 2.4 on IMDB. It stars Robert Lowell, Mary Beth Hughes and John Miljan. Lets go find out why a flick about a guy working for the mob has the this title! I'm going to try something different and put a time stamp down for when I think of my always brilliant witty comments and where to find the flick if you can. This flick is currently on Amazon Prime boys and girl. So power up our lord of shopping and get ready to accuse our parents!
00:00:00 Running time of this if flick is One hour and seven minutes, nice!
00:00:00 Ugg black and white sucks unless it is the Stooges!
00:00:38 There is something nice about old movies musical scores isn't there
00:02:16 Ah there we go, it is one of the first lines
00:03:32 Wow he looks the same in school as he does now!
00:04:29 Is this one of those dangers of drink flicks?
00:04:58 Wait...10 bucks was a lot of money back then wasn't it? Hell it is now if you ask me!
00:06:30 Wow...this family is quite the family unit!
00:08:40 I agree with the dad, that hat is pretty funny!
00:10:12 Of course she showed up drunk
00:11:16 That boss guy seems very interested in Jimmy being a "Good boy" if you get my drift!
00:12:20 Are you interested in shoes? No I came to the shoe store to get some burger for dinner you dumb bunny!
00:14:00 Yeah that manager is creepy! Also how old is Jimmy? High school was 30's back in the day?
00:16:12 Sure does talk about his mom and dad a lot!
00:21:50 What lip-syncing?
00:23:30 Why did the chef come out? Just to smile? Is he part of the number? The 40's were so confusing!
00:25:10 Was that lady wearing a fez? OH MY GOD IT WAS #11!
00:28:16 Wait....did they suddenly change locations?
00:43:00 Sorry there hasn't be much to say. Just basic old school 40's movie mobster stuff
00:51:00 Those are the most unlikely cops I've seen even for the 40's. Pretty shade characters indeed
00:58:00 Should be more people like this cook in the world, we'd be a better world actually
01:00:00 This Jimmy kid just attracts the weird "bosses". I take back what I said about the cook. He is as creepy as the shoe store owner!
01:05:30 Well this isn't a bad movie at all; just old
01:07:30 Uggg, it is about being a neglectful parent!
This does NOT belong in the bottom 100. Is it a good film? Not by todays standards but you can say the same thing about a lot of "classics". This is not a classic by any stretch of the imagination but it isn't bad. I give it a 5/10. It was an okay film but boring by our standards. The acting was very 40's and 50's and not any action because of the time.
The story is not a bad one actually. The idea of a guy giving his story in court to defend himself. I actually wouldn't mind seeing a remake of this film with decent actors and a some decent action and you have a slightly better flick.
I wouldn't recommend going out and watching this flick but there are worst ways to kill 70 minutes especially if you're stuck at work!
Because it is Christmas I'm back with another Bottom 100 review, this time it is the flick Eegah which can be watched by clicking on the link! From 1962: "Teenagers stumble across a prehistoric caveman, who goes on a rampage." I'm hoping we see Pauly Shore somewhere in this flick! (10 points to those who get the reference). It stars Arch Hall Jr. (Arch Hall Sr. is the director...hmm), Marilyn Manning and Richard Kiel. But enough talk lets go watch...Eegah
I always feel bad that these 60's flicks are on the list, they probably weren't considered bad back in the day of the drive in double feature
Lives up at the club? What does that mean?
Women fainted much easier back in the 60's
Why is there goat sound...oh the cave man is just carrying one
Damn, that caveman is huge! Oh it is the guy with a nail in his head from Happy Gilmore!
Oh yes, referencing the bible
So far this isn't horrible at all
Tom has some nice hair, it is very Doctor Whoish
Any movie with a pith helmet is okay with me! I do own one myself for the record!
Why the shot of the pilot taking his gasses off and on? Weird
Wow that is some "dune buggy"
Yes 1960's movie music!
I know you're dad is waiting to be picked up and all but watch me show off!
Of course they are suddenly stuck...but they get out? Why have the scene? A tension builder?
fainted again?
He is sniffing the girl? That is weird
Roxy's dad has a decent voice, could've done some decent voice acting work I think
I've got to say Eegah is quite the artist
Yeah, he is going to try to get with Roxy!
IMDB Trivia: After filming was completed it was discovered that the sound recordist had actually failed to record the bulk of the sound. This explains why so much of the film is (badly) dubbed with the sound added in post-production. That explains it, I thought it was just the bad version online I was watching
Two aspirin, calm down there dad!
Gave him a shave? Yeah...that's weird for a "dad and daughter"
That is a lot of shaving cream!
What continuity error? Shaving cream always comes back...wait she is putting MORE on? And it is gone again
She only took him outside the entrance like two feet? That was her big plan?
Yeah work the body kid, work the body!
Poor kidnapping giant, he just wanted someone to love him!
Yeah, I'll tell you when I've had enough...baby
Even at 90 minutes this flick is a little long in the tooth
Strange relationship between "Father and Daughter" I'm telling you
He found the house rather easily I think
Wait...now he understands how glass works? He didn't moments ago
When does the rampage start?
Oh wait...that isn't their house, its the club...but doesn't Roxy live there?
Wow that rich dude totally no sold the giant
He doesn't have a horrible voice actually
Yeah this has seriously gotten long in the tooth
This wasn't a horrible move at all, just a little long. Probably would have cut 10 or 15 minutes out. I realize that would have made it a 75 minute flick but I think it would have worked better.
Overall I give it a 3/10. Not horribly horrible but the length knocked it down a notch. Not a bottom 100 flick however. I blame MST3K because they did an episode on it! Until next time....abyssinia!
