2017/11/16

Movie Review: Bottom 100: Meet the Spartans

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is that you have come across this entry.  Today, 10/09/17, I am checking out a bottom 100 flick, #99 as of today, Meet the Spartans.  It stars Sean Maguire, Kevin Sorbo and Carmen Electra.  "The heroic Spartan king Leonidas, armed with nothing but leather underwear and a cape, leads a ragtag bunch of 13 Spartan misfit warriors to defend their homeland against thousands".  It currently has a 2.7 out of 10 with 92,906 votes.  I think I have seen this before so I am going to punish myself one more time for my dozens and dozens of readers.  The things I do for you people!

  • Oh good grief...what am I doing to myself?
  • These jokes are dated!  I mean so much so that people won't understand them 
  • Really?  I don't think we needs to see shots of his balls 
  • So this is the comedy of this flick huh?  This flick is already too long!
  • 4 minutes in and already two balls jokes?  Really?
  • Really mocking Anna Nicole's death?
  • I am ashamed this movie was made and I had nothing to do with it!
  • I never noticed Carmen had such weird/bad teeth
  • Is this going to be one long gay joke?
  • Okay that name was funny, Traitoro
  • Why does "Britney" have a British Accent?  Or was that a Southern Accent
  • I don't even know who that guy with the hair was!
  • This pit of death joke should go into the pit of death!
  • Yep gay jokes
  • He is right, this isn't funny!
  • Is it wrong that I already want to give this a 1
  • I want to cut my own throat right now instead of finishing this, seriously this is awful
  • Wait...he doesn't have any balls anymore?
  • A cheap ripoff of 300 would actually be good compared to this dreck
  • Did I say I'm ashamed this movie was made yet?
  • My god....
  • I can't believe they didn't screen this for critics....it would have killed most
  • Seriously one gay joke would have been okay but so far every scene....really?
  • I don't get it...Paris Hilton...
  • Can you believe this flick was filmed in a week?  I can't because it couldn't have taken that long!
  • I'd rather be watching one of those stupid dance battle flicks I think
  • Yeah this flick is getting a 1, only because I can't give it a negative number
  • Another reality show reference?
  • But aren't all Spartans gay in this flick?
  • Yet another gay joke....
  • Seriously? 
  • I wish I couldn't see or hear 
  • You honestly couldn't pay me enough to be in this movie....no amount of money 
  • I still don't get the Paris Hilton thing
  • I still have 34 minutes of this shit?
  • Is this a movie scene or did they stumble upon Carmen off camera?  
  • There we go, it'd been a while since we had a balls joke
  • And there we have yet another gay joke, excellent
  • I wonder if anyone laughed at this movie
  • Thank god they explained that "joke"
  • Once again if you have to explain the jokes that much it is a bad joke
  • If he is dead why another 20 minutes?
  • Again aren't they all gay?
  • So many crotch blurs
  • This stupid dance scene probably took up two or three days of filming which probably should've been spent working on the script!
  • Why would they want to eat at Hooters?
  • So they didn't put these scenes in the movie but it is so bad and short they had to extend the credits?
  • Thank god an Episode of Psych is next in my queue! (laughed more in the first 5 minutes then in the 80 minutes of this flick for the record!)
That...that was one of the most painful yet.  I honestly don't know why I didn't shut it off.  Yes I do because I assumed it couldn't be this bad the entire time...and it was.  It was maybe the most unfunny thing I've seen in my entire life.  Well that and all of their other movies.  Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are perhaps the most unfunny people in Hollywood.  They have a Star Wars spoof coming out according to IMDB and I wish I could already give it a 1.  

Seriously do not watch this shit, I am ashamed it was made an that anyone watched it.  It actually made 8 million dollars which is even worse. Avoid this and anything by these idiots!

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