2015/09/13

Movie Review of Zombie Shark

I am back boys and girls and this morning I'm checking out the 2015 film Zombie Shark.  This might be a TV movie which means I shouldn't be too hard on the flick...we'll see.  "A perfect getaway for four friends turns into survival when they fight an experimental shark."  Over in IMDB it has a rating of 3.2 as of 9/13.  It stars Cassie Steele, Jason London and Roger J. Timber.  Lets get this over with!

  • Yep, it is a SyFy movie...which means this will be awful on a special scale
  • They spent a lot on the music that is for sure!
  • At least it isn't two hours long but 85 might be too long
  • That was the tamest bar fight ever
  • Things are tense with you and your sister living together sis, why don't we all go on vacation together!  Guys really are dumb aren't they
  • Well that scene was pointless
  • Yeah lets play with a dead fish stuck in the mud....gross
  • Ah yes, poop jokes!  
  • I think this is a poor mans Anthony Anderson
  • Is that a bikini or bar and panties?
  • Good grief, do guy actually like this?  Who writes this stuff?
  • Looks like it was bitten by something?  Genius!  
  • Worst looking fake shark ever
  • Did that shark just eat a man whole?  Two people now?
  • HNN?
  • Wait, how did the shark get a harpon in it?
  • Bridget is pretty calm for being covered in blood
  • Shouldn't zombie shark be after other zombies?
  • How did they get on the military channel?  By chance?  
  • They sure didn't drift very far from the dock
  • So they have a second zombie shark because it ate off the body the first zombie shark fed off? Weird
  • If the water is ice cold why are several people in bikinis?
  • Did no one say anything about the fact that a man and the sheriff were eaten?
  • Yes lets go into the water after see a shark eat a person whole
  • YES!  DRINK!  They said the name of the movie!
  • Again I'm confused, is the water cold or not?  
  • And the guy with the bazooka showed up
  • Yep poor mans Anthony Anderson
  • Bridget is pretty hot 
  • The ocean is actually red with blood
  • Is that an ear?
  • It is a horde!  A horde of zombie sharks!  
  • Man the acting in this flick is awesome
  • Wow I agree with what Bridget is saying...am I drunk...is she?  
  • This is the first good writing in this flick
  • And that is what she gets for trying to help another person!  Good by first "real" character
  • Wow she got over Jenner pretty quickly
  • Good grief, it hasn't been an hour yet?  
  • Did they base Amber on a certain fat bearded man writing a blog right now?
  • Does no one clean themselves up after they get splattered with blood?
  • Now we have zombie people as well?
  • Seriously these fake sharks suck!
  • I got the beacon working so let me hang my feet in the water
  • These guys are the saviors of humanity?  We're fucked!
  • They actually ran into the water to attack zombie sharks....I...who wrote this shit?
  • Why was fake Anthony Anderson lying on the ground?
  • And who gets bit?  I'm betting on Sophie
  • Yep...bye bye Sophie...ate whole....wait...ate whole...there is still a chance right?
  • Shades of Amy from the Walking Dead there
  • Why wasn't the Sgt. Cage infected?  I'm confused.  What about everyone else that was bit?  
Well I was right, that was special bad.  TV movie bad.  It actually wasn't a horrible concept just piss poor execution.  It was because of lack of money and what not I realize but it was bad.  I don't know what else to say.  There was nothing really good in the flick.  Cassie's acting wasn't bad and even though I mocked Roger "Fake Anthony Anderson" Timber he wasn't bad either.  But over all not worth the 100 minutes.  Until next time....I need another shot

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