Movie Review: Age of the Dead

Good morning boys and girls, I'm back for another movie review.  This time I watched the flick Age of the Dead.  It stars Aaron Stielstra, Michael Segal and Marius Bizau. "In a world ravaged by a virus that turns people into cannibals, a pregnant woman (Alice) manages to survive. Alice, in the company of two other men, strives to reach an island untouched by the plague. Meanwhile, a dangerous individual is on the trail of a mysterious girl, which causes Alice to realize that the Zombies are not her biggest and only threat.".  Lets go watch this flick...

• Oh good grief, it is the worst actor in the world again!  Aaron Stielstra!
• Honestly when I was in first grade playing Bo Diddley, leader of the Cabbage Patch Kids, I was a better actor and I sounded like Elmer Fudd
• Do little kids really just open the door for anyone?
• Wow he is much more aggressive then he was moments when the door was opened
• No screaming?  Really?  
• Honestly Alice isn't much better than Aaron thus far
• What the hell does she have in her hands?
• Wait...all this happened and she didn't know?  Damn she is dense or completely out of touch
• Is there only one zombie around?
• Also....fast zombies....not a fan boys and girls
• Atleast the flick isn't very long, because thus far it isn't very good
• What did they do to her?  
• Have I said that I hate needles?
• Is that Alice from the beginning of the flick?
• I'm confused as hell
• Oh its the implication as they said on Always Sunny!
• Note to film writers, if you want to make a characters death matter, we should at least know who the hell they are.  Otherwise it means nothing to audience.  Give us a reason to care
• Well that was the wrong thing to do buddy, everything after that is on you
• Yes, better take time out to light your pipe when out in the open you moron...oh its Aaron's character of course
• Good grief this writing is horrible much like Aaron's acting
• THAT ONE AGAIN?!  Really?
• Not far?  Three days is not far?
• Good grief any scene with Aaron in it is awful.  How does he get into ANY movie or TV show?  I wouldn't even allow him to buy a ticket to see a movie
• Well that is not good, a flickering light is never good
• And the award for asshole character in this movie goes to that guy!
• They take time to set up a tent?  Why?  You have a car they can't get into 
• Well you can't grief forever after all
• Yes more yelling.  Didn't you people just talk about sound being bad?  Or was that some other douche?
• I'm not a zombie and I want to eat this guy to shut him up!
• Hide in plain sight they said, it'll work they said
• Is this guy trying to be the 9th Doctor with his outfit?
• This movie loves dream sequences
• Really?  How dumb are people in movies!
• Ah yes, Hershel him up Alice!
• Love.  Love will keep us together...right?
• Well that was another horrible movie.  

That was another horrible flick.  The ending made sense and was predictable but not satisfying at all. The characters....oh well Uwe Boll was involved, I should have know it was going to be bad even if he just produced it.  Oh shit, he also produced Reich of the Dead...it all makes sense now.  Sorry Uwe while I enjoy your Rampage flicks these two zombie flicks were horrible.  Horrible writing.  This Aaron guy even seeing the flicks make them bad let alone him being in them!  All horrible.  Once again do not see this because there is NOTHING good about them.  Even the movie poster is a scam. The summary doesn't fit the movie either.  Avoid this flick boys and girls, go see something good like Birdemic or The Room!