Movie Review: Night of the Hunter

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you have come across this entry.  Today (9/13) I am checking out the flick Night of the Hunter from 1955.  It stars Robert Mitchum, Shelley Winters and Lillian Gish.  "A religious fanatic marries a gullible widow whose young children are reluctant to tell him where their real daddy hid $10,000 he'd stolen in a robbery."  I am not sure why this is on my list to watch but it is so I'm watching.  IMDB gives it an 8/10 so lets see what happens.

• Good grief floating heads of kids are even more creepy than kids usually are
• Did that camera just shake?  Yeah, the camera work is weird
• Wait..the lord tells you who to rob?
• Nice finger tats bro
• Yeah they'll never be able to follow you if you drive through the fence, it'll look like you hid
• People would be screaming if they pointed a gun at persons head like that
• Peter Graves is so young!
• They are singing a song about a guy hanging!?!  WHAT THE FUCK?
• Man preachers wear weird creepy hats, it is how you know they're evil I guess.  It is a black hat and that means bad guy in old movies
• Yeah, this preacher man is a con man like most of them
• He says boy a lot
• I don't think anyone has EVER wanted a smidgen of your fudge sister!
• Where are the guys?  Seems all women
• Yeah, you eat fudge if you don't like it boy!
• Here comes creepy preacher man, nope just creepy mom and fudge lady dancing...I think I'd rather have creepy preacher man...and there he is!
• In a week they're getting married?
• She finds a switch blade in the preachers pocket and that doesn't seem weird?
• What cussing?  When did he cuss?  
• Yeah, how dare you ask for face point lady
• Mulish as a sheep?  That...does that make sense?
• Nothing can break horsehair....that is some really clear water!
• You know, the one stone
• Ha ha, the old timey run!  I go after my dogs like that to mess with them
• Was that a gun?  Nope just a door coming down
• Slow swamp walking?
• I've never seen someone have more trouble putting someone in a boat
• WTF?  That is suppose to be the kid singing?
• Nice fake spiderweb
• Nice fake frog sound
• Always Gypsies
• Ah this is where the movie drags
• So he is going away from home so you go back home kids....or continue the same way I guess...
• Is this the same movie?

What the hell was that ending?  The first 2/3 was fine for what it was, actually kind of enjoyable...then suddenly it was weird orphanage but not weirdness.  Nope, I didn't like that ending at all.  I felt like it just lost its story there near the end.  That it didn't know where to go with the story once the kids got on the river.  I can understand that, it isn't always easy to write that third act.  You see it a lot in films but this just lost it.

I guess I will give it a 6/10.  Would have been higher but I hated that ending, hated it.  Everything was fine enough for what it was but that ending...good grief it last me in the last 20 minutes or so!

Movie Review: The Girl on the Train (2016)

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening....whenever it is you have come across this review. Today (9/12/17) I am checking out the flick The Girl on the Train.  This is based off a book by the same name, a book I rather enjoyed.  I hope the movie does it justice.  It stars Emily Blunt, Haley Bennett and Rebecca Ferguson.  "A divorcee becomes entangled in a missing persons investigation that promises to send shockwaves throughout her life."  It currently has a 6.5/10 on IMDB

• Why the creepy stare dude?
• I think everyone has thought about the random people/houses they pass
• These people should probably invest in some curtains
• Yeah, she is plastered, you can tell, which will be a theme in the flick
• Interesting they are keeping with the jumping around of characters
• What is a calorie director?
• Interesting, this is not how envisioned Megan
• That is one weird looking baby
• That is a her?
• Is this suddenly a dream?  Oh yeah okay it is
• He sounds like me, just saying that everything will be fine
• Ah yes facebook stalking and then drunk calling the ex
• Loneliness is a horrible thing
• Wow they are really trying to make it seem like Rachel does it
• Oh right creepy guy is weird guy
• Wow Lisa Kudrow is looking a old!
• Oh a violent drunk
• Wow....just come right out with it, good thing you are not a PR person for like a president
• Good grief....I don't think lying is like that at all
• It is still abuse if you don't care
• I forgot how confusing/interwoven this all became
• There is a lot of sex in this flick, more than I would have thought
• Drinking everyday is what she does
• Ah yes, breaking into the husbands account while drinking, knowing his ex, I'm sure that won't bother him at all
• This flick is real yet it isn't, it is so odd, I felt the same way with the book
• Oh right, I completely forgot about this part of the story
• I hate guys like Scott, makes all guys seem like assholes
• Oh right, now I am starting to remember what really happens...yeah
• This film is really well done
• Damn
• Wait...is that how it happened in the book?  Now I can't remember
• JESUS LADY!

That was really enjoyable....well perhaps that isn't the correct phrase.  It was really well done and much like the book I don't think you knew who it was that killed Megan.  

I think everyone did a wonderful job in their roles.  I dislike how all the men in the movie are scum but such is life.  Now that I wrote that I feel that most of the characters are slightly one dimensions and I think I said something similar for the book.  

It isn't the easiest movie to watch, as I alluded to above, as it does feel very real.  The characters felt real despite what I said moments ago about slightly one dimensional.  

Honestly the one thing I can say bad about this flick would be the length, I felt it was a little long for this kind of flick but that is a common complaint.  It didn't take away from my "enjoyment" of the flick and I actually give this an 8/10.  If you haven't seen this I'd suggest going out and watching it.

Until next time...Abyssinia!

Movie Review: Inferno (2016)

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you have found this entry.  Today (9/12) I am watching the Ron Howard flick Inferno.  It stars Tom Hanks, Felicity Jones and Irrfan Khan.  "When Robert Langdon wakes up in an Italian hospital with amnesia, he teams up with Dr. Sienna Brooks, and together they must race across Europe against the clock to foil a deadly global plot."  It is based, in part, on the Dan Brown book.  It currently has a 6.2/10 on IMDB.

• We do have too many people on the planet, that is true.
• I wouldn't flip the switch, screw humanity!
• Strange dreams, I understand that, I get them a lot too...usually about unicorns
• There are worse places to wake up, like Detroit!
• Well that was pretty straight forward, lets kill everyone in the way, gotta love the direct approach
• Wow...shooting people in public seems much easier in the movies then I assume it is in real life
• I don't trust this doctor lady
• Wait...she took his clothes from the hospital, did she lose them?
• Should I have been able to tell what that was on his back?
• Weird kid is right!
• Why do most billionaires look like douches?
• I actually agree with some of what this nut job is saying
• Is this going to be one of those movies where everyone is against Hanks?
• So everyone that is looking for you is outside the garden...so you sneak into it?  
• Tom Hanks runs weird
• I am not a fan of this flick thus far, way too much flashing around
• Half the world?  How would she know?  Oh right the youtube video
• The niece looks like Zooey
• This kind of thing seems to follow the Professor regularly
• A tour goes up there?
• I think I'd take the heels off, but what do I know
• That is a hell of a flashlight!
• Yeah, the "can't remember anything for the last 48 hours" is a great plot device
• So are we going to find out this guy is actually the bad guy and Elizabeth and the guy from Jurassic Park is actually the good guys
• I would think that the fire extinguisher to the face would be enough but not in movies
• They would be really good at Where's Waldo as easily as they picked that guy out of that crowd
• The problem with these movies are they are often predictable  At some point there will be at least one more double cross if not two
• And 30 seconds after I wrote that there is yet another double cross
• Oh wow, that *IS* Ben Foster...he was kind of chubby during this flick
• Nobody finds it weird this guy is dragging a body around?  Movies are so weird with things like that
• Humanity is inhuman, good quote
• Why the gloves?  
• This is like that movie the Game
• Something isn't right about that memory is it?  Is Elizabeth going to turn on the Professor as well?
• The problem with trying to make us think that the bad guy is going to win is it happens so rarely.  This should be a heart beating in your chest moment and i have no doubt they'll stop it
• Of course they'll study it so that they can weaponize it....er....study it

Like the other "Dan Brown" movies this isn't a bad movie.  It is quite contrived, in my opinion, but that is what makes them fun right?  The acting was well done and honestly it was hard to know who was good or bad.  So between good acting and good writing I found that good.

I would give it a 7/10, so slightly higher than the average but average for me on non-bottom 100 flicks I think.  

I can't really say anything good or bad about the flick, it was just there.  Standard Tom Hanks/Dan Brown/Opie flick.  There wasn't anything new or ground breaking in the film and like I mentioned during my play by play it really ends up academic at the end.  I know it is the journey that is important, and it is, but it comes to the point where it is tiresome to always see good win because that isn't life.  I also know that recently I said I watch movies to escaped real life so yeah that is a paradox huh?

If you can catch this on a movie channel or a streaming service its not bad.  I am glad I watched it but I wouldn't go out of my way to watch it either.

Movie Review: Hello, My Name is Doris

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you have come across this review. Today (9/11/17) I am checking out the 2015 flick Hello, my name is Doris.  It current, as of the viewing date, has a 6.7/10 over on imdb.  It stars Sally Field, Max Greenfield and Tyne Daly.  "A self-help seminar inspires a sixty-something woman to romantically pursue her younger co-worker."

• Of course the kids are on their phone
• Interesting cast already
• Nothing wrong with a little hording son
• That is awkward, facing the back of the elevator
• Who talks that much in an elevator?  
• SHE JUST STOLE HIS PENCIL!
• Lacey?  Is that Lacey?
• Well this guy is a con artist.  I should explore his job 
•  Good grief, that scene was just plain weird...like this flick so far
• Another fantasy?  Is this the female Walter Mitty?
• Communism is a good idea
• Yes google him, that is the way to do it
• No one likes Improv Jazz
• Lacey is right, this is a very bad idea
• That is the worst fake facebook I've seen, why not just make a fake social media system
• Good god this is going to be bad, did you see cover
• I was wrong, it was bad, it isn't good much like her dancing
• Wow, how could they talk to her like that.  I guess I just liked family too much
• She does kind of fit in there strangely enough
• WTF is happening right now?  WHAT IS THIS?  This is why I don't listen to music anymore or go concerts
• Yet strangely I don't hate the music yet I want to
• Good grief, I honestly want to slap every person at this concert.  Everyone of them
• What scares me is that most of this is probably how people really are any more
• She is going to misread ALL of this...bad things are coming
• Yep stalking is what this is called
• It is weird to not see these people in comedy roles

None of this movie made sense to me.  It was all very strange and weird.  I didn't hate it but honestly I don't know what to say about it.  Overall I guess I will give it a 6/10.  It was hard to follow but had a nice story.  

It had a really good cast and it helped the flick.  It was just kind of there for me.  It felt like Walter Mitty but with an older woman.  

It did have some scenes that seemed pointless and could have been re-written to make the other characters more interesting in my opinion.

Overall I guess I can't suggest this flick but I wouldn't say to avoid it.  If you have 90 minutes and are looking for a movie with a decent message then this is okay.  I felt like it was a lot of fluff and not substance but that is just me.

Movie Review: My Cousin Rachel (1952)

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, whenever if is you have come across this review. Today (9/11/17) I am checking out the 1952 flick My Cousin Rachel.  I am watching this flick because my better half wanted to watch it.  I am checking it out because why not.  "A young man plots revenge against the woman he believes murdered his cousin, but his plans are shaken when he comes face to face with the enigmatic beauty."  It stars Olivia de Havilland, Richard Burton and Audrey Dalton.  It has a rating of 7.2 over on IMDB.  So lets see what it is about...my cousin Rachel

• Death is the price of murder, but freedom is a buck o'five
• GOOD GRIEF HE BAKED A PUPPY!
• His "illness" is causing paranoia I am guessing
• Inpatient son of a gun
• They did tell the family he was dead?  That seems...odd
• Would it have been sent to him?  Seems like it took a while
• CALLED IT!  The tumor did it
• A yes, revenge is always the way, nothing bad ever comes of revenge
• This guy is a real dick, but then again he does think that she killed his family
• A yes, the Princess Leia hair 
• I don't trust this woman Rachel
• That is a strange question...only these two...was she expecting more?
• Old movies have such overbearing music at times
• Is he going to marry is own cousin?
• I wouldn't drink that tea for all the tea in China!
• Other will?  Just happens to mention that now.  I believe this is called gas lighting boys and girls
• Let the paranoia begin!
• That is true about some women...but men too!
• So is Phil the bad guy here?  I'm confused
• A third?
• I can't tell who the bad guy and who the good guy is
• Did she poison him?
• WTF is going on?
• He just carries around a straight razor?

What just happened?  Why do so many older movies NOT have endings and leave it up to me to assume what happened.  Because that ends up meaning that it is always a conspiracy!  That is just how my mind works.

Overall I would give it a 6/10, which is lower than the average because of the lack of an ending.  I've said it before in my reviews but I expect a beginning, middle and end to my stories.  This just left it hanging.  

I liked the story but I felt that without an ending it was not good flick because it wasn't complete.

Movie Review: Everything Everything

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you have come across this entry. Today (9/10/17) I am checking out the flick Everything Everything.  "A teenager who's spent her whole life confined to her home falls for the boy next door."  It stars Amandla Stenberg, Nick Robinson and Anika Noni Rose.  As of 9/10/17 IMDB has a 6.3 rating.  This is not my typical flick but lets see how it goes

• I'd love to not go outside!
• I wonder why it is always a white shirt
• Don't they find it weird that they have a clear glass sliding door?  I would...it is a weird house
• That is true, those cakes usually are dry
• Why is he in all black...that seems...fishy...and was that a jack and coke?
• How old is this kid?
• I don't trust his kid at all, I think he is out to harvest her organs
• Wait...how did he connect to the bluetooth?  Is it that easy to do it?  Because it is never that easy for me to connect to a bluetooth device
• That seems to be really foolish...to let that stranger into the room.  Going to get that girl killed
• I do not trust this Olly kid, nope, something is off about him.  
• They are not across the room from each other...and don't touch that bracelet thingy
• I wonder how much they paid Apple or Apple paid them
• Yeah sneak him in, nothing bad can happen, nope nothing
• Wait...what are these weird subtitles....what they're thinking?
• Why would Maddy have that kind of dress?  For the occasion?  
• And now Maddy dies, thanks a lot movie!  
• Wait....she just left the house...because Olly was in a fight
• The father didn't hit Olly, it was the other way around from what I could see
• This is a young adult book?  Very depressing
• She is firing her?  Nice mom, lets make sure you lock your daughter away
• Shouldn't those be on big poster boards like other movies
• Yeah this is a great nurse, I'd tell her to fuck off
• It is hard to blame the mom for all this, I want to protect my daughter all the time and she doesn't have the same issue as Maddy does
• My god, she is going to run away isn't she
• Getting on a plane is even worse than going outside little girl
• Airplanes are death traps for normal people Maddy!  WTF!!
• What kind of credit limit did Maddy get?  Unlimited?
• The cops should be able to trace her if she used her ID to board the plane, she is 18 though...
• It isn't that small honestly I don't know if she could find a bigger one in this day and age
• She can't swim and she is going to jump off a cliff?
• Oh...she can suddenly swim...strange
• Things seem out of place.  Maddy seems to change a little in scenes like they were shot out of order and the actress changed
• I guess she isn't sick anymore....and as I typed that she is sick
• I bet mom sent Olly way to protect her
• I don't think I'd bother to get dressed every day, not in jeans for sure
• Has her mom been lying all this time?

Well that was different then what I usually watch.  I guess I'll give it a 6/10 because I'm not really sure what to compare it to.  It was well performed although I feel like she should have been more amazed by the outside world then what she was.  The young lady who played Maddy, Amandla Stenberg, did an amazing job.  

Overall it is not a bad flick but not what I usually watch as I said.  Mostly because these kind of flicks feel real where I don't have to worry about a mystical mummy coming back to life.  I watch movies usually to find an escape and this did not do that.  Some of it hit a little close to home then what I'd like to admit.

If you enjoy dramas and real life (well as real as movies can be) this isn't a bad flick.

RIP Bobby The Brain

I don't often do the whole RIP thing more than mention someone I liked pass.  I find it weird especially for actors because I didn't really know them.  Use Robin Williams for example or whoever. But I sometimes feel different with wrestlers and I think it is because I see them weekly.  I "saw" Bobby Heenan on a weekly basis from 1990 through 1999 I think.  That is more than I saw my own grandparents.  Because of the weekly nature of wrestling and the fact that the announcers are there each and every week they feel almost like family members sometimes.  Yes they are playing characters and I don't really know them but it feels like it.  Also because you don't see them, or rarely is a few cases, as anyone other than Bobby Heenan.  Robin Williams you saw as all sorts of people but wrestlers are almost always "themselves".  I never saw a different version of Bobby Heenan.  He was always the Brain.

If Bobby was twenty years later in life he'd have been a major star.  His timing in live broadcast was amazing and you could tell he was enjoying himself at times.  Especially his interactions with Gorilla Monsoon.  Their friendship was obvious and so classic to any WWF fan.

I could go on but instead I'll just link a few videos to here to watch just how great he was.

Movie Review: IT (2017)

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you have found this entry.  Recently I finally got a chance to see the new modern version of Stephen Kings novel IT.  If you know me you know I am a huge fan of the book.  I read the book several times, usually around this time of year because I enjoyed it this much.  It was the first book I read of Kings actually when I was in Junior High.  I enjoyed the the 1990 miniseries but it was a TV miniseries so this should be a better representation of the novel....hopefully.  As of 9/17/2017 it has a 8/10 over on IMDB.  Because I'm not writing this as I watch it this will be a Good, bad and ugly review!

THE GOOD

• Just seeing a more true version of the film is a good thing.
• Several things that were left out of the mini-series was included in the flick including Neibolt St were included in the film which I really liked although that is going to show up in the bad as well.
• I feel they did a good job in Pennywise.  I still like Tim Curry's version but it was well done and probably more scary than the TV version (more on this later as well)
• The kids (Minus one thing) was well done.  The kid from Stranger Things and Beverly probably stole the show
• The changes that were made for the movie weren't too distracting (More on this)
• Beverly's dad was done perfectly!
• Georgie, being such a young actor, was perfect and honestly probably the best part of the flick.  If he had more scenes I'd say he was the star
• I was extremely happy to see Ben more heavyset and a little more of his stuff from the book like the "H" in his belly and the slashes in Neibolt street
• The slide projector scene was REALLY cool

The Bad

• A few of the things were overdone in the flick.  The swearing of the kids was a little over the top.  I feel like I was a little older before I started swearing every other word
• They also did the bit where the background music suddenly slowed down and stopped when something scary was happening way to often.  It was cool at first but after a few times it annoyed me
• I feel like a few of the important things weren't in the flick.  No werewolf or mummy yet aspects of them were used (both on Ben actually).  
• I wish there was more to the Neibolt street, in my head there was more to it in the book and a very cool part of the initial Losers club
• I didn't like the kid who played Eddie.  I didn't get the feeling that the kid was really worried about getting sick and what not.  They implied it but again it is such an important part of the character I felt it was missing.  
• Now that I type that I feel that each kid, minus Bev, were missing things and a little one dimensional.  
• Several important things were missing in the flick.  The werewolf and mummy for example but more importantly the important of Silver the bike and the silver earrings and what not that they use to beat IT.  Without the werewolf it makes sense to leave it out but it is such an important part of the book it seemed wrong not to have that.
• I felt that they focused too much on Beverly and made it more of her story instead of Bills.  
• Eddie's leaper wasn't anything like I envisioned, too zombie like for my like tastes
• Beverly looked too much like Pennywise for me, which I wonder if it is going to lead to something

The Ugly

• There isn't much I can put on this list.  It was well done but the biggest problem was that we see Pennywise WAY too much.  It seemed like every other scene had the clown in it.  Perhaps it is because it moves quicker then the book or miniseries that it seemed that way.  But I feel like less would have been more, with more non-Pennywise scares that had Pennywise involved. Then a glimpse of the clown.  More teasing like Jaws and less in your face

I enjoyed it but not quite as much as the IMDB people.  I'd give it a 7/10.  Enjoyable for sure and something that I feel like I might like on a second viewing.  I think I wanted more of the book so I was slightly disappointed but that is probably my fault.  It is enjoyable for sure.  Worth checking out and something I'd recommend everyone go see.

Movie Review: The Mummy (2017)

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you have come across this entry. Today, 9/10/17, I'm checking out the 2017 version of The Mummy.  It stars Tom Cruise, Sofia Boutella and Annabelle Wallis.  "An ancient princess is awakened from her crypt beneath the desert, bringing with her malevolence grown over millennia, and terrors that defy human comprehension."  It currently has a 5.6 on IMDB, which seems low but we shall see.

• A graveyard found under London?  I'm shocked (not really, probably very realistic)
• Russell Crowe isn't exactly the person I'd pick as a narrator
• Wait...so this chick is possessed by the Devil right?  Because I saw that happen in Doctor Who what with the writing appearing and what not
• Are they just randomly shooting things?
• Never say slip in and slip out, that is basically saying what is the worst that can happen
• I like Jake Johnson, he is good in his roles
• Tom Cruise hasn't aged for years has he
• Yep, I'd be leaving if that many spiders suddenly showed up.
• Wow that lady is a bitch, I'd probably shove her into the pit...by accident of course
• That is a lot of crows...or ravens perhaps...couldn't tell
• I don't think I'd get into a plane with that thing
• It looks like the bit is effecting Vail, because spiders are EVIL!
• And he is dead, way to go....nope not dead...just possessed....or perhaps a zombie
• That is a shit ton of birds
• For the record, I'm 30 minutes in and not hating this at all
• Can you parachute out of a twisting plane?
• No one is shocked that dead guy is up and not dead?
• Do these guys not watch movies?  If you see a mummy you don't investigate you run
• So she is like a zombie mummy queen
• Yeah, I like this character, Vail is easily my favorite character thus far
• That...that is a lot of rats
• Yep zombie mummy queen, very interesting 
• Damn, Cruise has really straight teeth
• Awkward!
• I am really enjoying this flick, zombie mummies are cool!
• Really?  They are going to capture her?  Because that always works well
• Of course, take her to where the blade and stone are near each other, why not
• Well she has a point, when she kills you, you will know what is beyond the veil
• Why do mummies always control bugs?
• Ah yes, Dr. Jekyll, nice addition to the story and to what they're calling the "Dark Universe"
• Wait...wasn't that the book from the 1999 Mummy flick?
• And the new spawns begin
• I don't think guns are going to stop her at this point, she seems...upset
• Zombielands Cardio rule really fits into any movie world I notice
• Nice, the face in the sand bit from the other trilogy
• That is a lot of mummbies (zombie and mummy combined)
• I wonder, can she control all undead or just mummies
• seriously why are there so many mummies under London?
• I don't think beating him up is going to take the pain away...but I could be wrong
• That might have been the most unsexy tongue lick in the history of tongue licks
• Did he just become a living god?
• Doesn't evil call us all all the time?

That wasn't horrible at all.  Actually I really enjoyed the flick.  It had really good pacing most of the time and even at two hours I didn't feel at any point like "my god is this over yet" which is often the case with these flicks.

I honestly can't say anything bad about this flick based on what the flick is.  It is an action flick so if you go in looking for more you are going to be disappointed.  

The acting was what you would expect, nothing out of this world but very solid.  Johnson has amazing comedic timing with Cruise and Crowe fit the role of Dr. Hyde perfectly.  The two female leads were also cast well in their roles.  The mummy lady was very good and came off as sexy yet terrifying and her walk through London as the sand storm hit was shot beautify. 

I guess overall I'd give it a 7/10.  I think people were expecting something different from this as I don't know why the low rating of 5.6.  I struggled between 6 & 7 but since I can't find anything to knock the flick for I went with my average of 7.  Average fun action flick that is worth checking out at some point.  Maybe RedBox or HBO or Netflix.  I don't think I'd buy it...yet.  Perhaps if they continue with the "Dark Universe" a box set might be worth picking up.  

Until next time...abyssinia!

Movie Review: Attack of the Puppet People

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you have come across this blog.  I am looking at a "classic" sci-fi movie.  Why I sought this flick out I don't remember now.  But today (9/9/17) I'm watching the 1958 flick Attack of the Puppet people.  "Lonely, deranged puppet-master designs a machine that shrinks people."  It stars John Agar, John Hoyt and June Kenney.  As of viewing it has a 4.6/10 on IMDB

• That is a brood...oh it is a bunch of brownies...that all seem to be from the same family.  
• It is kind of creepy in a village of the damned sort of way
• this guy is creepy in a tied up a person in my basement kind of creepy
• wait...he has a secretary doesn't he...oh she left the company
• This guy is creeppy as fuck...wait..that is his secretary...as a doll
• This salesmen is a jackass, I'd kick his ass out
• Don't see a lot of scenes in elevators do you
• That is odd, a mail bag...oh wait!
• There are salesmen for doll clothes?  Really?   Very strange
• Ugg, marionettes are creepy...always creepy
• Why would she go out with that ass
• Those are some flat dolls
• Does she really think those dolls are people?  She is crazy!
• DAMN!  Plastic in the olden days burned much differently
• What is she screaming about?  Oh old movies are great that way
• Toilet articles?  Weirdo
• I have to say it looks pretty good for being from 1958
• Would a cat come to sugar?  Or is that not sugar, maybe canned milk
• Yes!  Old school sci-fi noises
• Okay, the cat in the hands didn't look good
• They are very calm about being toys
• This is like a really warped version of Indian in the Cupboard
• That must be a very small phone
• How are they going to get the rope down...oh...I guess it just comes down like a grappling hook in heist flicks
• Why show the watch?  
• The kid just goes in the back?
• Yep, won't look weird you skipping out.  Nope not weird at all
• He is going to kill them all?  Including himself?
• What about everyone else?  It ends there?  Old movies are weird!

Well that was an interesting flick.  I enjoyed it, it was fun.  It was an interesting plot.  The guy wasn't really evil as much as old and lonely.  He didn't really hurt the people...just kidnapped them.  He was right that he simplified their lives...I almost envied them!

Overall I enjoyed it.  I say a 6/10.  Nothing great but nothing horrible.  I think with some story line tweaks it could an enjoyable flick with a modern twist!  

Until next time...Abyssinia!

Movie Review: The Rezort

Looks like Dead Island to me

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, whenever it is that you have come across yet another fat mans movie review.  Today I'm checking out the flick The Rezort.  It stars Dougray Scott, Jessica De Gouw and Martin McCann.  "The ReZort, a safari park, offers paying guests the opportunity to kill as many zombies as they please following an outbreak."  Sounds like Dead Island meets a safari to me.  Not sure what I think of this but lets go check out...The Rezort!

• Sadly humanity would keep the virus the going instead of wiping it out
• I also seeing someone make a "resort" out of something like this
• How do people NOT see the issue with what this place represents and whatnot
• Yeah those kids will die first, probably with their headphones on
• Is it wrong that I want these fools on this island to die?
• So in the world of "The Rezort" was there not Jurassic Park the movie or book?  Because this is EXACTLY what happened to them.  
• I feel like I'm watching Jurassic World but with Zombies, right down to the guys in the computer control room
• And they don't have redundant systems to the redundant systems?  This is why they need me to think for them...and tell them NOT to do this stupid thing to being with
• Wait...they aren't even free range zombies?
• Oh, there are some free rangers
• Nice down the scope shot
• I wonder if that would be therapeutic after a zombie war
• The one kid has a flag painted on his head?  I would shot him
• They camp out in the wilderness...with the zombies?  Yeah brilliant!
• So...to hit on this girl....they are going to talk about winning a video game.  Yeah the ladies usually jump at the one boys.  Don't forget to mention Dungeons and Dragons
• So where is Nedry?  

• Then there is running and screaming...yep Jurassic Park
• How did they get in the control room?  Did no one think to lock the doors manually?
• So the person who hacked the place did it and stayed on the island?  That doesn't make sense...does it?
• Did he just quote The Lion King?
• Get in the car girls, not the cloth tents
• Not on...in boys and girls, your shooting is going to bring more
• 1 gamer down...but no headphones I was wrong
• I will say this movie is moving quickly which is a good sign
• Ah they sacrificed her, nice
• For a whole island of dead heads there aren't many around 
• I kind of like the sound effects of the dead in this flick
• Why not get to the roofs?  That'd be my plan...and they just pasted a ladder
• One shot that lock huh?
• They are going to get to the boat and it will be the boat from izombie...ie full of zombies
• They were in the air ducts?
• Yeah just leave that door open...
• Wait...he is leaving his girlfriend/wife?  Why not help latch the door then all climb up
• He got what he deserved didn't he
• I have to say this is better than I expected
• I believe it is rule number one...cardio
• Wait...how?

Well I liked that much better than I thought I would and better then those on IMDB.  As of 9/9/17, when I watched this flick, it has a 5.3/10.  I think it is a better flick then that, I give it a 6/10.

I wanted to give it a better score but the last two or three minutes really hurt the flick.  The ending wasn't what was needed.  Heck it wasn't the last two or three minutes it was the last 30 seconds honestly.  Leave it with the speech from the main chick Melanie and that is it.  However they threw in the scene with the dead coming out of the sea and that hurt it.  I realize it was to tease a second flick or to show it didn't end all happy (which normally I'd be all for) but it leaves the flick hanging in a sense and I NEVER like that.  I want a beginning, middle and end in to my stories and this didn't give it to me.

Overall if you like zombie flicks, which I do, this is worth watching.  I feel like a few plot holes hurt it a bit but there a lot...A LOT...worse zombie flicks out there.  

So until next time...abyssinia!

Movie Review: Opening Night (2016)

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you have come across this flick.  Today (9/8/17) I am checking out the flick Opening Night.  "A failed Broadway singer who now works as a production manager must save opening night on his new production by wrangling his eccentric cast and crew."  It stars Topher Grace, Alona Tal and Lauren Lapkus.  This is a flick I came across because of my future (or present depending on when this gets posted) bride.  I don't know anything about it.  It has an interesting cast so it could be entertaining.

• Already a love story aspect, interesting
• Is this how theater people really are?  No wonder I never got involved in it
• I would blow my brains out if this is how my life was, I really would
• And Rob Riggle shows up and the flick picks up!  LOVE HIM!
• Anne Heche?  Did she have work done?
• Uggg, Paul Sheer shows up and the show goes down
• Wait...is JC gay or not?  I'm confused...should I care?
• I would go see this show I think
• If this ever happened in real life I would die...either from embarrassment or because I've always wanted a bunch of people to burst into song
• Topher does look a little like a muppet
• I didn't know Lauren Lapkus but I am a big fan of her
• Did someone shake her at the end of that song?
• Water was flying everywhere?  GOOD GRIEF!
• This is the best scene ever!  I should have wrote some of those insults down!
• Why doesn't Topher act more?  He is always good
• Good grief I just laughed at Paul Sheer...I feel horrible
• DONKEYS...PENETRATING HUMANS!!

• Ryan Gosslings mom?
• Are they have seizures?
• This isn't a laugh out loud funny but it making me laugh, mostly Digg and Margherita
• Is he just going to go onstage and sing?  Randomly?
• Yep...that is what he is doing....strange
• If only life actually happened this way
• Damn it I laughed at Sheer again

I have to say that was fun.  Over on IMDB it has a 6.6/10, I will go a little higher and give it a 7/10. If you're a theater person you will probably understand it.  I personally figure it is overestimated on how these people really are but it was fun.  

The performances of everyone in this flick made the movie.   I really want to give it a higher score because of everything...fuck it...I say it is a 8/10.  I actually really enjoyed this for what it was.  Part musical, part love story and just fun. 

I cannot pick anything bad about this flick which says something.  Overall if you can find a copy of this do it.  It is on Amazon right now and you should rent it.  Actually I just found out it is on Netflix at this moment so go watch it.  I recommend this for a flick that is just good humor, not laugh out loud humor (well one scene for me) but just good make you smile fun.  Until next time....abyssinia!

I assume this is how I look when I smile...slightly evil

Movie Review: Bottom 100: #88: Theodore Rex

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, whenever it is you have come across this entry.  Today (9/7/17) I am checking out another bottom 100 flick, this time #88, it currently has a 2.4/10 on IMDB.  Theodore Rex  It stars Whoopi Goldberg, Armin Mueller-Stahl and Juliet Landau.  "In an alternate futuristic society, a tough female police detective is paired with a talking dinosaur to find the killer of dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals leading them to a mad scientist bent on creating a new Armageddon."  This sounds like a bad alternate version of Zootopia...only not good!  So lets go find out how this movie could possible be in the bottom 100!

• Is that a poor mans James Earl Jones?
• That guy has great hair
• Isn't that T-Rex from the Disney Dinosaurs show?
• Well that makes sense, it would have to have a place for his tail
• How did she miss the cop?
• Hudson Hawk did this drag the person behind the vehicle better
• Good grief, he rambles more than the Doctor!
• That tail joke is going to get old...oh wait it already is
• Wow who thought these character choices were good ideas?
• This is painful
• I wonder how this has a 2.4...how?
• The things I do for my dozens and dozens of readers!  You all owe me very much big time!
• Did the prop crew buy an old carnival?
• Oh my god, how did anyone think this was funny
• I should have watched this while off work so I could drink, it is that painful
• Butt trumpet?  MY GOD!
• Too bleeping small?  Bleeping!
• Yes just hit buttons, that will give you the access code!
• She can't move but can sit down?
• Why did the car blow up?

That was just plain bad.  Honestly that was bad.  I can't give a good reason to watch this movie.  I give it a 1/10.  

Honestly I can't say one good thing about this flick.  Not one.  Usually I can find one good reason to watch a flick but this falls in the rare flick that has nothing going for it.  The writing was awful.  The actors ate so much scenery that that is where the budget had to go for the flick. 

Nothing redeeming about this, it is so bad that I can't even say it is fun to watch.  It just a bad bad movie.  Avoid this at all cost!

This is me right now, afraid there could be a second one of these movies coming