Movie Review: Fantastic Four

Here we go, It is the 2015 Fantastic Four.  It stars Miles Teller, Kate Mara and Michael B. Jordan.  “Four young outsiders teleport to an alternate and dangerous universe which alters their physical form in shocking ways. The four must learn to harness their new abilities and work together to save Earth from a former friend turned enemy.”  As of 8/9 over on IMDB it currently has a rating of 4.0.  It has been blasted by critics and fans alike.  Lets see if they giving this flick a fair chance or just going off the fact that it looks like a horrible film in every preview they released

• The fact that Michael Chiklis isn’t Ben Grimm makes this movie flawed from the start, let me just say that to start
• Eli Manning is his personal hero?  Oh its not Reed
• Why am I seeing Homer Simpson but not hearing him?
• Ah yes the Teen Titans….no?  Are you sure that isn’t what I’m watching?
• The abusive family for Ben...of course that is why he is so angry
• This is because that one kid is a fan of Eli Manning fan!
• Wait...he can teleport things but not sure where?  Helpful.  The early Star Trek teleporters were safer
• So Ben is just a bully who befriends Reed?
• They really are teenagers?  Really?  Teen Titans would have a been a better choice...mostly because I want to see Cyborg
• Eleven Minutes in and this is the best writing ever….I assume in this other dimension that things are going everything is opposite?  No?
• Ah yes, Doom...might as well have called him Victor Von Badguy like in the Muppet Movie.  Victor is what...thirty?  Like Johnny Storm.  I don’t get this casting at all?!
• Of course, everyone loves Sue.  Ben, Victor and Reed.  Amazing.
• Where is Vin Diesel?  NOS!!!!!!!!
• TIME FOR A MONTAGE!  
• The film is listed as a 100 minutes on IMDB and they felt the need for a montage?  
• I hate not knowing the ages of characters because I get a pretty creepy vibe from Doom and Sue.  I guess it is because Sue looks much younger (even though the actors are only a year apart in age)
• I guess that is a good thing, the creepy vibe, since Doom is...well….creepy
• Oh I get it, its a prequel to Planet of the Apes!
• The casting is still confusing
• Good thing they built a suit for Ben...seeing as how that was the plan the entire time….being the same size as Sue and all….  *DETAILS!*
• So the “daredevil” isn’t a daredevil?  That makes perfect sense….
• I was about to say that this wasn’t horrible but then the characteristics they’ve established change suddenly because….well….um…..
• Well this was doomed from the beginning...huh….doomed….get it!  What, you know I’m not the first person to make that horrible joke!
• To be fair, I am not hating this movie thus far.  I’m about halfway through and I don’t hate it.  I don’t like it...it is just there
• I would think the Mr. Fantastic effects would have improved since 2005….I thought wrong
• Covert operations?  A giant orange rock monster?  Yeah no one would notice that
• Wow….Thing looks awful!  How did a movie 10 years later with much better FX make things look worse?
• How does an action comic book movie bore me?
• I am actually bored during an action movie
• Ah, he has the force.  That makes sense.  
• The Human Torch effect is pretty good
• Even the big fight scene is boring!
• I saw this scene in the first Avengers...and it was better done and more enjoyable...and there was a Hulk screaming

Okay….um….I don’t know what to say what I just watched.  It was...well as I said above it was boring!  Let me get my rating out of the way and much like the IMDB average I’m going to say 4/10.  

Lets get to the meat and potatoes of it all.  It was just an awful “re-imagining” of one of the first, if not the first, superhero team.  The casting was poor because the actors were all over the place age and look wise.  I think they were all suppose to be around the same age but Doom looked a good ten years older as I mentioned as I was watching the flick.  The sorta love story but not but hinted at was odd.  

The special effects were mostly mediocre at best.  For a “big budget” blockbuster I feel like they missed the mark.  The superpowers effects were basically repeats from the 2005 film.  However the acting was a major step back.  I don’t know if I blame the actors themselves or the script, which was piss poor as well.  Aside from Michael B. Jordan and Reg E. Cathey I am really not familiar with the other actors but none of them did much to impress me.  Cathey did an okay job but they had nothing to work with.

Recently the director Josh Trank blamed the studio for the films bad reviews.  He was the director and has a screenplay credit as well.  Unless the studio went and recut the flick without his knowledge or completely micromanaged things he has to look in the mirror and realize he did a bad job.  We probably won’t know the true story but until I hear something from 20th Century Fox I don’t believe Trank. Seems like sour grapes to making a bad movie.

Overall this was another failed Fantastic Four movie.  I think Marvel should do whatever it takes to get control over this franchise as soon as possible.  I don’t know how many more chances fans will give Reed and company.  

I can’t suggest going to see this.  There is nothing good to go with this flick.  Visually, acting, script, music….nothing.  Go see Mission Impossible or Ant-Man or anything really.  

I think I’ve said said enough.  Until next time...Abyssinia!