It is Monday Night and it is time for the long process of Raw. Before we get started let me say with the holidays and some technical issues I haven't got around to Impact, Smackdown and some of the other shows recently. I hope to change that soon. I also hope to post some more video game reviews, movie reviews and the occasional random rant. If you read this I'd love to hear from you guys and if you've got questions for me throw them at me. I enjoy doing this! I've even toyed with the idea of doing a weekly podcast again, I did a few a few years ago. I'll also remind you all to click on the amazon banner below or any link I put in the report here. I get a little back for each purchase. Thanks for reading!
The main event is going to be Dolph Ziggler and The Big Show taking on John Cena and Sheamus which should be interesting and we'll get the fall out from The Shield attacking Ryback.
Kane and Daniel Bryan come out and they challenge the Shield who are up in the crowd. Team Hell No are taking on my other favorite team of the Prime Time Players, Titus O'Neil and Darren Young. Team Hell No are working together and even came out together. I hope that isn't true as their arguing has been the best part of the show most weeks. Kane has been in 899 matches in WWE, the most ever according to Michael Cole and wwe.com. Once again the WWE App is not working on my iPad. This will be the last time I tire it. Also the Shield seems to be slowing heading to the ring. D-Bry now has a better beard than I as I shaved, but that is the only reason! Just throwing that out there as we go our first break.
During the break they showed a commercial for Ted which was pretty damn good, even if it featured that horrible Massachusetts accent. I hated that place....oh look Raw is back on!
I hate that the Prime Time Players are a backdrop for this match as they both could be stars. Still no Raw Interactive on the App. I don't think the Shield feuding with Team Hell No is the right thing, although beating two major stars could give them the rub as they say. I just think they should randomly attack people ala the nWo. Darren just got pinned after trying to hook the tights and running Bryan into Kane. The Shield attacks Kane and trap his arm in the steps and then go after Bryan. The fans chant Feed Me More but no Ryback and still no haircut for Rollins. I hate that Ryback last week was going to hold the show hostage to get to these guys but this week we don't see him. I'd like to see Kane and Bryan get into Rybacks face at some point about this. We then go to the back and Cena and Sheamus are talking about giraffis? They are talking about their tag match. Up next we'll see AJ Lee return to the ring.
They are advertising the interactive Raw app yet it doesn't seem to be working, at least for the Fat Man here.
Am I the only one confused that the Hobbit gets three movies and the Lord of the Rings, three books, got three movies. Seems odd to me, not that I'm upset, just odd. I personally can't wait to see it.
Wow we are already going to blow off the Tamina/AJ match? They aren't even going to wait till the pay per view TLC? Tamina has a different look but WWE doesn't care about divas wrestling so who cares? Why should we? The AJ story is a good one, I mean her real life story. AJ win the win rolling up Tamina and that is that. Goodbye Tamina, have fun back in Florida at NXT.
Here comes CM Punk and Paul Heyman, two of my favorite guys. Punk tweet a picture of him with Merle from The Walking Dead this weekend at Comic Con. We go to break and we'll be back with the Champ!!
Tomorrow night at Midnight Punk will pass Cena and become the longest reigning WWE champion in the last 25 years. Pretty impressive but it will be ending come Royal Rumble sadly because he is booked against The Rock. Punk looks tired as hell, he really does. Punk is an old school heel, he doesn't try to be cool he just says what he wants and often the truth. That is what makes a great heel. Punk just called the Three Hour Raw's dismal, ain't that the truth! Here comes Miz, the most unlikely face since...um...well...perhaps the most unlikely face of all time. It is so easy to hate him! So Miz doesn't want to fight the champ he wants him on MizTV to take a lie detector test? WHAT?! I'm half tempted to shut this show off. That is the stupidest thing I've heard since all the AJ crap. Miz called Heyman a walrus and the fans are not chanting that, kind of funny. Break time boys and girls!
We come back and its time for the tag match to open hour 9. Good move I think. I hate Dolph's character but really enjoy it when he is in the ring. I can see Show knocking Ziggler out after the match, after all he does have the Money in the Back briefcase. I know I would. This match has been slow and then some. Show just took Cena's horrible shoulderblock and it knocked Cena back, I like that. Show should be a monster till Sheamus beats him. Sheamus is back in and it is picking up some. Not nearly the match I was expecting with these four. Sheamus with a top rope shoulderblock countered with a spear takes us to break boys and girls.
Kane and Daniel Bryan come out and they challenge the Shield who are up in the crowd. Team Hell No are taking on my other favorite team of the Prime Time Players, Titus O'Neil and Darren Young. Team Hell No are working together and even came out together. I hope that isn't true as their arguing has been the best part of the show most weeks. Kane has been in 899 matches in WWE, the most ever according to Michael Cole and wwe.com. Once again the WWE App is not working on my iPad. This will be the last time I tire it. Also the Shield seems to be slowing heading to the ring. D-Bry now has a better beard than I as I shaved, but that is the only reason! Just throwing that out there as we go our first break.
During the break they showed a commercial for Ted which was pretty damn good, even if it featured that horrible Massachusetts accent. I hated that place....oh look Raw is back on!
I hate that the Prime Time Players are a backdrop for this match as they both could be stars. Still no Raw Interactive on the App. I don't think the Shield feuding with Team Hell No is the right thing, although beating two major stars could give them the rub as they say. I just think they should randomly attack people ala the nWo. Darren just got pinned after trying to hook the tights and running Bryan into Kane. The Shield attacks Kane and trap his arm in the steps and then go after Bryan. The fans chant Feed Me More but no Ryback and still no haircut for Rollins. I hate that Ryback last week was going to hold the show hostage to get to these guys but this week we don't see him. I'd like to see Kane and Bryan get into Rybacks face at some point about this. We then go to the back and Cena and Sheamus are talking about giraffis? They are talking about their tag match. Up next we'll see AJ Lee return to the ring.
They are advertising the interactive Raw app yet it doesn't seem to be working, at least for the Fat Man here.
Am I the only one confused that the Hobbit gets three movies and the Lord of the Rings, three books, got three movies. Seems odd to me, not that I'm upset, just odd. I personally can't wait to see it.
Wow we are already going to blow off the Tamina/AJ match? They aren't even going to wait till the pay per view TLC? Tamina has a different look but WWE doesn't care about divas wrestling so who cares? Why should we? The AJ story is a good one, I mean her real life story. AJ win the win rolling up Tamina and that is that. Goodbye Tamina, have fun back in Florida at NXT.
Here comes CM Punk and Paul Heyman, two of my favorite guys. Punk tweet a picture of him with Merle from The Walking Dead this weekend at Comic Con. We go to break and we'll be back with the Champ!!
Tomorrow night at Midnight Punk will pass Cena and become the longest reigning WWE champion in the last 25 years. Pretty impressive but it will be ending come Royal Rumble sadly because he is booked against The Rock. Punk looks tired as hell, he really does. Punk is an old school heel, he doesn't try to be cool he just says what he wants and often the truth. That is what makes a great heel. Punk just called the Three Hour Raw's dismal, ain't that the truth! Here comes Miz, the most unlikely face since...um...well...perhaps the most unlikely face of all time. It is so easy to hate him! So Miz doesn't want to fight the champ he wants him on MizTV to take a lie detector test? WHAT?! I'm half tempted to shut this show off. That is the stupidest thing I've heard since all the AJ crap. Miz called Heyman a walrus and the fans are not chanting that, kind of funny. Break time boys and girls!
We come back and its time for the tag match to open hour 9. Good move I think. I hate Dolph's character but really enjoy it when he is in the ring. I can see Show knocking Ziggler out after the match, after all he does have the Money in the Back briefcase. I know I would. This match has been slow and then some. Show just took Cena's horrible shoulderblock and it knocked Cena back, I like that. Show should be a monster till Sheamus beats him. Sheamus is back in and it is picking up some. Not nearly the match I was expecting with these four. Sheamus with a top rope shoulderblock countered with a spear takes us to break boys and girls.
We're back and Ziggler is back in the ring and it has slowed down. Yeah who would think the match was quicker with Show in the ring! Stereo AA's and White Noise and the good guys get the win. We should not see Sheamus doing that stuff to Show till the PPV. It shouldn't have happened at all but we've seen it several times now so it won't be special when he does it at the PPV. Actually they should have had Ziggler cash in the briefcase and make it a four way at the PPV between these guys. That is what I would have done.
A recap of the Punk interview already? Really? Lets get to break before I cry!
WWE on Youtube preview and no Puppet H? That is just wrong!
The Muppets are going to back on WWE TV at Tribute for the Troops! I LOVE THE MUPPETS! Florida however not so much....or Flo Rida or whatever the hell his name is. He sucked at Wrestlemania and he'll suck again!
Time for the Rotation of Illumination as Damien Sandow is heading to the ring. He is doing an apprentice gimmick? Really? Wow the people of Greensboro are some ugly people. This is a horrible gimmick and will do nothing for Sandow. We now get the most annoying person WWE TV as Santino Marella is out there. We'll get them in action next!
That was the second worst segment on TV in a long time, only slightly behind the 3 Man Band segment from a few weeks ago. This show is horrible, just horrible. One decent match to open the show and a decent Paul Heyman segment but besides that it has sucked. I'm sorry but perhaps Vince McMahon should be gone more often as last week was leaps and bounds better than this.
The announcing in this match is even worse than the match and that boggles the mind! Ugg, here comes the Cobra, the dumbest finisher in wrestling history! Sandow wins. That set back wrestling years, seriously years.
Vicki Guerrero is in the back with Dolph who is complaining about Show. Vicki is losing faith and we are going to see Dolph against Cena at TLC.....which I thought we already had. Vicki calls Dolph baby and the two almost kiss. In Vicki's office is the one and only Brad Maddox! Break time and I need to go shotgun a few beers to forget this last segment completely!
We're back and tonight we'll see Brad facing someone with a chance at a contract. I think Ryback will be destroying him again. Or perhaps The Great Khali.
Sin Cara is taking on Alberto Del Rio in a match with two guys we don't care about because WWE has told us they don't matter. Seriously why would we care about these guys? Alberto has lost to Randy Orton dozens of time and Cara is only around to sell merchandise and give two striker Rey Misterio something to do. It might be the horrible Raw but this match has bored me to tears. A flying headscissors off the apron sent Alberto into the barricade and that was pretty cool and it sends us to break.
The Robot Chicken Playstation All-Stars commercial is much better than the live action one for sure!
This show has been awful. I know I said that already but it has. I would skip the rest of this show if I wasn't doing this and didn't really like wrestling. The in ring, well besides Santino, hasn't been horrible but nothing worth talking about. It is shows like this that makes people tune out. Whoever wrote this show should be sent home to think about what they've done or forced to watch it over and over again.
We're back and Alberto is bumping big for Cara surprisingly. I think Sin Cara is shaken up, he just walked out of the corner, I mean that literally, he walked. If he isn't shaken up and did that he should be fired. The Legends of Wrestling show with Jake Roberts showing up drunk had better stuff then that. It was horrible. What I was going to say was the best match of the night has turned into slow motion wrestling. This went from the best to nearly as bad as Santino and his match. Ugly ugly stuff thus far. The final hour with maybe Vince McMahon showing up better pick up because thus far this has sucked! Plus we still have to see the dumbass lie detector MizTV segment. Good grief!
Speaking of Vince, he is going to have a conversation with Vicki in the ring after this break!
Another recap of the MizTV lie detector set up segment? OH MY GOD! They are going to close the show out with that horrible crap! I hope I'm wrong but I doubt it. Just horrible.
I thought we would not have a long Vicki Guerrero in ring segment but I was wrong again. I think someone out there in WWEland is reading this and just doing horrible stuff to throw me off. Vince has the dumbest power walk in history and is wearing a horrible tie! They just announce Cena/Ziggler match and they are going to add a stipulation. Probably for the briefcase perhaps.....but it is a ladder match....with the briefcase on the line. I called it. Vince must have given up on Ziggler and it will end up in Cena's hand. Vince just called the AJ storyline crap, too bad he kept it going for what six weeks? Now they are going to punish Punk if he is found to be lying. If Punk is lying it will be Heyman against Ryback next week. Good grief....unless this is how they are going to bring Brock Lesnar
back it is horrible. HORRIBLE SHOW and up next is Maddox getting destroyed by someone.WTF is Kid Rock doing on my TV? HE IS HORRIBLE! I guess he will be at Tribute to the Troops. Yeah that will pop a rating. I was wrong with Ryback and Khali, it is Randy Orton. I was going through old tapes and found his debut on Smackdown and he looks completely different. No stupid sleeve tattoos to start with. What is the point of this match? Or this show for that matter! RKO and good night Brad. Wait a second, the Shield just attacked Orton! That surprised me. Where are Hell No or Ryback? They should have done a segment with Hell No leaving the building or going to the ER or something to explain why they didn't come to help. Simple logic that wrestling seems to constantly be forgotten in wrestling. I give up on you Raw! Time for a break.
We come back and Vicki is yelling at Charles Robinson? WHAT? Dolph is pissed and says Vicki is like AJ and now in comes Paul E. I think they are going to kiss! Nope more pointless crap that meant nothing. Now here comes John Cena with his goofy grin. Vicki is holding what looks like bow ties with Cena buttons on them. That is why she wanted to see Cena. Really?
Kofi Kingston is on the way to the ring teaming with R-Truth against Wade Barrett and Antonio Cesaro. Nope, Teddy Long, who has no power what so ever, just made it a four way match. The title on the line will be the Raw Interactive decision. What? Huh? Oh screw it, I'm going to make a sandwich during this break!
I didn't even vote this week as I don't care. This horrible show has put me into a horrible mood. They are honestly going close the show with the lie detector crap! A running European Uppercut, that was pretty cool. This is one of those horrible four ways where there is almost always only two men in the ring. Getting shoved off the apron causes people to lay on the outside for minutes. Kofi off the steps into the Uppercut! My favorite thing in a Cesaro match, always watching for when it is going to happen and it leads up to a break.
We come back and it is a giant swing by one leg and into a single leg crab. It is fun watching Antonio and his unique moves. I think a Barrett and Cesaro match could be a fun old school stiff match. Time for the stackplex move that has to happen in each four way. Enough with this wildcat nickname, it is stupid! Cesaro just gut wrenched Kofi off Barrett and hit his finisher for the win. A fun match and this and the opening tag match has been the only thing worth watching thus far. Time for the awesome idea of a lie detector segment to end Raw. Great booking boys and girls. Time for a break and then our final segment.
It is going to be Randy Orton taking on Wade Barrett on Smackdown this week. Time for Barrett to lose and time for all of us to lose to this segment. I doubt I will say much about this as it is going to awful I think. Seriously how is Miz a face? I want to punch him in the face! This segment is awful but finally the Shield come out and destroy Miz. So Team Hell No come out to save Miz and not Orton? What? Anyway that is the way it should be. The fans chanting for Ryback and he comes out now. Did he just show up? Where has he been for the other 30 minutes the Shield has been out there tonight? Second show for the Shield and of course they are getting destroyed by Ryback and Hell No. Makes me believe they are tough. Punk is mouthing off to Miz in the ring and kicks him out. An okay ending to a horrible segment and the worst show in months in my opinion. Just horrible boys and girls, WWE should be ashamed. Wait I talked too soon. Ryback is back and we are ONCE AGAIN going to go off TV with the Champ down and out and Ryback putting a ladder and a chair in the ring. A shot from the ladder and then the chair. Now comes the table. Yeah a horrible ending to a horrible show.
I'm done folks. Hopefully Wednesday and the Main Event is better then this dreck.
Results:
Team Hell No defeated The Prime Time Players
AJ defeated Tamina Snuka
John Cena/Sheamus defeated Dolph Ziggler/The Big Show
Damien Sandow defeated Santino Marella
Alberto Del Rio defeated Sin Cara
Randy Orton defeated Brad Maddox
Antonio Cesaro defeated R-Truth & Wade Barrett & Kofi Kingston
AJ defeated Tamina Snuka
John Cena/Sheamus defeated Dolph Ziggler/The Big Show
Damien Sandow defeated Santino Marella
Alberto Del Rio defeated Sin Cara
Randy Orton defeated Brad Maddox
Antonio Cesaro defeated R-Truth & Wade Barrett & Kofi Kingston
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