Movie Review: Rogue One

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening....whenever it is you have found todays entry.  Today, 10/10/17, I am checking out the Star Wars Rogue One flick.  It stars Felicity Jones, Diego Luna and Alan Tudyk.  "The Rebel Alliance makes a risky move to steal the plans for the Death Star, setting up the epic saga to follow."  I am not a huge fan of Star Wars but we will see if I like this one...I'm hoping for some Jar Jar love here, the best character in Star Wars history (yes...let me feel your hate!)  Oh it has a 7.9 on IMDB with 366,603 votes (I'm surprised it is that low, I figured all the Star Wars nerds would have given it a 12/10)

• There is our star I bet, in the past
• Yes trust the force, it has done so much for us so far...you know since we're filthy living in dirt and squaler
• Are they going to get sued by Battlestar Galactica?
• That kid runs funny
• The kid who is against the Empire had a Stormtrooper doll?  That doesn't make much sense
• Forest Whitaker is in this?  Nice, at least this one will have some decent acting...writing probably not so much but acting
• JESUS HE JUST KILLED HIS CONTACT!  The Rebels are such nice people, I can see what I would trust them
• The future...er....past....er....whatever sure is dirty
• CHOKESLAM!

• How many planets have we seen already?  Instead of wipes in this flick it is going to be new planets, at least it is something new for Lucas
• The rebels sure are nice people...have I mentioned that
• Does Star Wars have to have robots?
• And do all robots have to be annoying
• What is what Star Wars always having a shot of people watching a ship take off?
• Okay maybe I'm wrong about good acting, it looks like they gave Forrest a stupid gimmick
• The Star Wars Universe does love their capes don't they?
• I hope Forrest got a lot of money for this and what the director wanted for his "performance"
• Good grief what was that?  Chuckys Star Wars cousin?

found this by searching for stupid looking star wars creatures rogue one

• The thing above looks like a critter with a body
• I love that Storm troopers can't shoot anyone or anything but everyone else is like the crew of the Walking Dead, never missing
• this is such a weird story and like so many star wars before it I am bored
• Fire in space?
• Are we sure this main character isn't the same as in Chapter 7?  She behaves the same
• I can't understand a word that guy is saying
• Wait...he is going to shoot the guy who is helping them?  I don't get this rebellion group
• Why is it the Alliance hasn't replaced the Storm troopers since they are completely incompetent.  
• What is the line from Spaceballs because good is stupid?  Yeah...talking about you Jyn
• Didn't move any of those other bodies though huh?  Guess if you're laying down nothing can move a body
• Wait...shouldn't Vader be crying right now?  That is what Vader does right
• Is that Ackbar?  
• So there is a rebellion in the rebellion?
• A bunch of steam as the doors open seems like a horrible flaw for things like an ambush
• That scene was pointless, just to put C3PO in the flick
• instead of running from the AT-AT shouldn't you run toward it so it can't shoot you?
• Goodbye Porkins....oh wait are you saying that isn't this movie?  Are you sure?  Okay
• They are only NOW sending all those tie fighters out?  Why?  
• So they can build robots but they still use tape technology like in Hackers?
• Those ones have black armor, are they like level 2 storm troopers?
• Why is there wind in the data storage tower thing?
• Of course, the blind guy can do it because the force is with him, of course
• Why aren't they shooting the guy cradling his dead buddy?
• Wait....are the storm troopers actually able to shoot and kill people suddenly?
• Ah yes the Video Game moment
• So it only broadcasts if it straight up and down?  Why make it move then?
• And why put it out on the end of a giant bridge?
• Who designed this shit?
• So everyone dies?  
• Ah the second video game moment with Vader attacking the ship
• Well that was creepy!

Well that was a movie.  I think like most Star Wars it is over rated.  7.9 is too high, I guess I'll give it a 7/10.  It is average.  However the stupid character design and weird gimmicks with little to no reasoning bugged me.

And I'm sorry there are so many weird plot holes that I could drive an imperial cruiser through to give it any higher and honestly I am going to readjust and give it a 6/10.  Take in the average acting and that dropped the score down.  Sorry to fan boys out there that loved this flick but I just didn't.  I feel like there was stuff left out for me to understand.  Now you could argue that this was for star wars fans and they "know" all that was left out but that doesn't make a good movie.  

So give me your hate fan boys, I'll take it and love it!  LONG LIVE JAR JAR BINKS!!!