2017/10/18

Movie Review: Isle of the Dead


Good morning, good afternoon, good evening....whenever it is you have found this entry.  Today (10/06/17) I'm checking out the zombie flick Isle of the Dead.  It stars Joey Lawrence, Maryse Mizanin and Todd Cattell.  "A military squad is sent to a deserted island in the Pacific Ocean in order to secure top secret records involving a zombie epidemic that wiped out the large scientific team experimenting"  It has a 5.3 rating with 1020 votes.

  • Well this started off quickly
  • Is that Enzo Amore?
  • That is the toughest Doctor I've seen in a zombie flick
  • Yeah watch her feed 
  • Nice fake helicopter
  • Is that the Miz wife?  It is Maryse!  I didn't notice it was Maryse Mizanin above
  • Wow Joey Lawrence looks awful
  • That was a lot more than half an inch there
  • Yes, fall into the jungle where they can get around you easier!
  • Of course he dropped the suitcase or GPS bomb or whatever
  • Maybe take the RPG.....since this whole island is overrun...no...okay
  • Really bad CGI in this flick and the debris CGI made no sense
  • What is with the doctors face?
  • Yeah I wouldn't eat anything he gave me
  • Why aren't any of them asking about the bandage on his arm?
  • Good grief this guy is a nut job kill him and leave
  • Wait...it can talk?  I mean she can talk
  • Pretty sure I'd just piss myself instead of going into the bathroom
  • Also why not silenced weapons
  • Gotta turn that hat backwards to type
  • Your mother is the talking dead head Maryse
  • super zombies of course
  • I'm actually surprised this hasn't happened for real considering how stupid humans are
  • I think that lead super zombie is about to hit his finisher (wrestling reference)
  • And this fences/gates will open any moment....nope 
  • Did she just get bit?
  • Oh so Dadddy Doctor is going to turn into a super zombie...no...the super zombies are going to fight each other....wait...how did a few punches kill him?  WHAT ARE THE RULES HERE!!
  • I think I'd let them bomb the place
  • Gross super bugs are gross
  • This isn't horrible but kind of boring to be honest but it is  a typical Asylum flick
  • Now they're all bit, good
  • Of course he goes back for the RPG now because taking it with was too easy
  • Daddy is awake complete with Dead Island Video Game roar
  • Yeah give yourself the crazy super zombie drug, why not
  • I do not like super zombies, nope
Yeah that was a TV/SyFy Asylum flick.  That about says it about this flick.  Bad CGI, okay acting at best, subpar writing.  It is exactly what I expected the second I saw Asylum come up...and I loved it! I love that they know what they are give us what we expect from them.  A campy horror flick for last years 31 days of Halloween.

I think a 5/10 is exactly what this deserves!

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