Movie Review: Bottom 100: #100: It's Pat

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening....whenever it is you have found this entry.  Today I am checking out out the bottom 100 flick, #100, It's Pat.  It stars Julia Sweeney, Dave Foley and Charles Rocket.  It currently has a 2.6/10 with 8,911 votes.  "The comedic misadventures of a person of indeterminate gender."  I'd like to remind all my readers that I am watching this so YOU do not have to!

• Good grief it starts off with his/her birth?
• This whole flick is going to be bad s/he jokes isn't it
• Wow a postal working going nuts joke
• Kathy Griffith plays a character named Kathy
• Yep....all s/he jokes
• This flick is only 77 minutes and might be too long
• Oh David Foley....why!
• You like good movies huh?  Well you are NOT in one of those now Foley!
• How in the blue hell does this have a 2.6?  I will already give you my rating...it is a 1!  Only because I can't give it a 0!
• The neighbor is going to fall in love with Pat?  Really?
• He is stalking Pat?
• Why is Pat so excited about the present?  There are a bunch right there!
• Really?  Dude looks like a lady?  Good grief!
• If I was in this film I'd destroy every copy EVER!
• That isn't a laptop it is a word processor I think
• A lot of spit in this flick
• America's Creepiest People?  Really?
• How could they say these lines with a straight face?
• Oh Phil LaMarr why?
• Why does Pat have a Sousaphone?
• Why does the lead singer of Ween sound like a girl?
• Wow they got an actual Sousaphone case!
• David Foley should have left Pat before the movie started!
• Well that make over scene was worthless and pointless
• Tim Meadows too?  

This might be the worst movie ever put on film?  There is NOTHING good about this flick.  NOTHING!  This is Special Dead level of bad.  DO NOT WATCH THIS FILM EVER!

The acting is terrible.  The script is horrible.  Even the soundtrack is bad.  I cannot say ONE good thing about this film.  Not one.  Avoid at all cost!  Maybe the worst movie....ever!

Movie Review: Day of the Dead: Bloodlines

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you have come across this entry. Today, 02/10/18, I am watching the 2018 flick Day of the Dead: Bloodline.  It stars Sophie Skelton, Johnathon Schaech and Jeff Gum.  "A small group of military personnel and survivalists dwell in an underground bunker as they seek to find a cure in a world overrun by zombies."  It currently has a 3.4 rating with 1,796 votes.  I do not recognize any of the actors in this flick so I have a feeling this is not going to be good.

• Good grief what is with all the blood spraying
• She is going to be right, it isn't N1H1
• Did she say 100 times more antibodies...that will come back to play at some point
• Yeah it is normal to carve someones name into your arm
• They spilled more alcohol then they got
• That guy is the dumbest looking doctor I've ever seen!
• Apparently the jump scare in the morgue is right as my wife just about threw her drink just now
• So a zombie just saved a girl from being raped...does that make it a hero?
• Wait...all that drinking and partying is at the hospital?
• Good god this blood spray stuff is plain stupid
• Rotters?  Not a good name...because they don't rot do they?
• Oh good they did the blood splatter on the camera
• So is this just going to be a remake of the remake of the remake of Day of the Dead?
• Some of those are the worst looking soldiers I've ever seen in a movie
• Pretty sure if there is a zombie outbreak keeping the windows rolled up might be rule number one
• I too miss people shutting the fuck up
• Good grief the dialog in zombie movies gets worse in each flick I think
• I was wrong...they are rotting
• How do they understand what is being said on the radio?  It seems all static to me
• Well this has been really easy for them....and then Zoe leaves the group of course
• Of course you start shooting...that won't bring the entire place full of zombies down on you
• Are we going to see a bloodhound zombie now?
• I will say this flick has a decent pace thus far
• How far into the woods did that ball go?
• Good grief, dumb soldier or dumbest soldier?
• These are the worst soldier of all time
• How did they not smell the blood hound zombie?
• Of course it is rats and porn
• Yep better investigate the dripping blood
• Why do soldiers always yell "go go go" or "run run run"?
• People die in zombie movies because they do REALLY stupid stuff
• Max is a really cool looking zombie, kind of like the one in Fido
• Did she just say head bite?
• Clever girl...er...zombie
• Gonna go after the little girl because he saw Zoe with her
• Where has mom been this whole time?
• The little girl....ran..outside...toward the zombies?
• That makes two jump scares that got the wife.  The last one she said "AHHH...son of a bitch"
• remember that pacing I was saying was good earlier...now not so much....this seems a lot longer than 90 minutes
• Really?  She just pulled the I love you line?

Okay...that was something.  Very similar to the original which I did not care for.  The problem with most zombie movies is that people do stupid stuff and then that keeps the movie going.  For once I would like to see a smartly written zombie flick that bad things still happen in.  Think Scream but for zombies...wait...never mind...no one read that!  If I could create such a flick....

Okay seriously though the dialog left a lot to be desired especially in the jerk military Lieutenant.  The blood effects were over the top most of the time as well.  

However Max had a very creepy feel to him from his Animated Batman Joker smile to the fact that he was not only a zombie but a stalker zombie as well.  

Overall not a horrible movie but I think the 3 that people have given the flick is about right.  It had an interesting idea but overall fell flat which most zombie movies do!

Fuck the NRA

My question is this, how many of the guns used in school shootings have been from "law abiding citizens"? Oh right often they are stolen from these so called law abiding citizens. I'm sorry but my right to LIFE and LIBERTY trumps the 2nd amendment right sunshine.  

I'm not worried about my feelings actually I'm worried about the kids insides. I'm worried about my nieces and nephews who have to live in a Country where we have had a mass shooting roughly every two weeks. And don't talk about how gun control won't fix anything because criminals don't obey the law. Then why is murder illegal? Or drugs? Or anything because by your screwed up logic that means people will do it anyway. You want to wrap yourself in the constitution, you know the one that didn't allow women to vote. Made certain people 3/5 of a person. Is that the constitution you want to wrap yourself in sunshine? Hell if the constitution was perfect this woman wouldn't be allowed to even do this video because she was basically property.  

Isn't it time this country joined the rest of the civilized world? Oh right...we have a constitution to protect us. Lets hand out a copy of that to every kid at school and see if that stops the next gun loving nut job that shoots up a school! As for the NRA they are just short of a terrorist group. Per Websters: "unlawfully using violence and intimidation, especially against civilians, in the pursuit of political aims." Hell I would argue that they are unlawfully using intimidation when they buy political allies. But I won't go that far...for now. From my cold dead hands, remember that speech NRA members?  

Well we had a lot of cold dead hands in Vegas and Sandy Hook and Florida and Pulse Nightclub didn't we. But you keep your guns and keep fighting gun control. Because one day you will look in the mirror and realize that you were wrong. Hopefully it will be before someone who you love is killed with a gun or someone I love. So you keep worrying about a piece of paper and a "tool" whose only purpose is to kill.  

I need this for duck hunting

Remember this, your refusal to have an actual debate about this is actually pushing people to go to a further extreme. You'll push people far enough and they won't want gun control but the removal of guns. What happens when there are enough young people in charge that they change the constitution and they are illegal? Will all you "law abiding citizens" turn them over? Oh right you have them to protect yourself from the government, the government that you use to keep your guns, so that the government can't take your guns? Yeah figure that logic out and get back to me!

See even Watson cannot follow that logic!  But hug your guns and your kids tonight and if you are a religious person pray to whatever deity you pray to because it has been about two weeks since the last mass shooting...

So to wrap this up I have one thing to say to all you NRA gun nuts....

Movies I couldn't finish

Recently a friend said I should list the movies that I did not finish after finding an old facebook post.  There are not a lot of flicks that I did not finish but lets list them:

1.  Werewolf Bitches from Outer Space

Did you watch this trailer?  That should explain why I did not finish this flick.  There as absolutely NOTHING good about this flick.  Honestly it was like you took 14 year olds, gave them a camera and said a movie.  However not talented 14 year olds, those weird 14 year olds who have no social skills. Honestly it is easily the worst thing that I have ever tried to watch and I have watched One Eyed Monster, Birdemic, Birdemic 2 and all of the Transformers franchise!

2.  Special Dead

First off, look at this trailer and the concept of this thing.  A zombie outbreak at a special education camp.  The acting is piss poor...but of course it is what actor or inspiring actor would see this script and say "yeah this will make my career".  Honestly...I don't remember if I finished this movie because I got black out drunk during it mostly because I hated myself for watching it!

3.  Gingerclown

Much like the first flick on this list just check out the trailer.  You will see a trend in that most of these movies are just awful and have NOTHING good worth talking about.  This had horrible effects, acting yet what should have been a really good cast.  I mean Tim Curry is in it damn it...but then again look at his IMDB page.  This just was boring and silly but not a good boring or silly.

4.  A Fox Tale

Above isn't a trailer but the actual movie.  I know at least some of my readers are gamers.  Do you remember say 2000 when you had computer animation in video games and at first you were like "This is awesome!" then you started playing the game and all the actors had "dead eyes" and nothing quite matched up with the actions the characters were doing.  Then you also had the voice actors who put as much effort into the performance as you would see in a group of people being forced to do a shot by shot remake of the Dragonball Z movie.  Do you have one of those games in your head?  Now take every cut scene and put them together into 75 minutes.  Yeah that is this flick!

There you go, four movies I could NOT finish.  There are probably others and there are plenty of movies I wanted to shut off but continued to watch because I apparently like to punish myself.  I would like to say check these flicks out but don't.  They are god awful and never should have been put out!  They were not released they escaped and should have been put down first!

Movie Review: Trolls

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you have found this entry.  Today, 10/10/17, I am checking out the flick Trolls.  It stars  Anna Kendrick, Justin Timberlake and Zooey Deschanel.  "After the Bergens invade Troll Village, Poppy, the happiest Troll ever born, and the curmudgeonly Branch set off on a journey to rescue her friends."  It is quite the cast in this flick that is for sure.  It currently has a 6.5 over on IMDB with 49,651 votes.

• I have already heard the word happy too often!
• Dancing does suck
• That is not cool, do not mess with a mans chest hair!
• At least he kept his underwear on!
• Was that suppose to look like intestines?
• And his underwear is gone
• That troll-kid was REALLY creepy
• Is that the same voice?  
• Well the first song is annoying!  No one wants to be or is this happy!
• Branch doesn't exactly sound grumpy or a curmudgeon, trust me I know what those things sound like
• Why would the trolls have different accents?
• I'm sure it is just an earthquake....nope
• He is crazy prepared!
• Doing the right thing Branch, they need to face the consequences
• That is bullshit Poppy!  Branch should kill and eat them all
• Well that is a scary forest!
• I hate spiders....but don't worry Poppy, I'll do the stinging
• I like this Branch character
• Those bars aren't close enough to keep the trolls inside
• JUST EAT THE TROLL!!!!
• Yeah not the same voice
• Creek being eaten isn't bad because it is Russell Brand
• Singing killed his grandma?  OH MY GOD!
• Okay the terrible voice thing made me laugh
• Hair we go?  Really?
• Uggg, some of the voice acting is annoying
• Wait....now Branch is happy?  BOO!
• Did he just....um....expel glitter?  I wonder from what body part
• Wow....Creek is basically me....am I Russell Brand?  I...I can't handle this!
• I do like the music in this flick, its not my usual style but I'm enjoying it
• I don't like that the voices change when they sing
• OH MY GOD THEY LIT HER ON FIRE!!!
• What is with the cloud guy anyway?

Well that was interesting.  I think I agree with the 6.5 that others have given it.  Since I can't give it a that I'll round it up to 7 because I liked the music.  What can I say I'm a sucker for musicals!

The art style was different and usually I would not like it but it seemed to fit the trolls and their style.  I didn't find the Bergans design slightly off putting and disturbing but honestly I enjoyed the flick.

The music was good and I guess it had a good story for the younglings that anyone can be happy...but me ha ha (inside joke).  

I am typing this up as the credits roll and why is there shitty music here when the music in the movie was so good?  If I had not already closed out of the IMDB page this would have dropped the rating to a 6 because this is some really annoying music!

I haven't said this recently but if you have younglings this is a fun flick.  I didn't like enough to suggest it otherwise however!