Movie Review: The Deep House

 Good morning, good afternoon, good evening…whenever it is you have found this entry.  Tonight, 2021-11-07 I am checking out the 2021 flick The Deep House.  Stars Camille Rowe, James Jagger, and Eric Savin.  “A young and modern couple who go to France to explore an underwater house and share their findings on social media undergoes a serious change of plans when the couple enters the interior of a strange house located at the bottom of a lake and their presence awakens a dark spirit that haunts the house.”  2,316 IMDb users have given a weighted average vote of 5.5 / 10

• ·        The accents make things slightly hard to watch
• ·        God is watching over us?  We’ll you are not screwed
• ·        Why would anyone want to do this?  Getting trapped seems like an obvious problem
• ·        Why do people always split up?  Have they never seen scooby doo?
• ·        They are windows….you do not need to pry them open
• ·        JESUS DID YOU SEE THE SIZE OF THAT FISH!
• ·        Voices over the intercom and that isn’t a problem to her?  I would be out o there
• ·        Now they are seeing people and they just keep going.  These two deserve to die in their watery graves stupid people
• ·        Scratches on the inside of the door and these two are still there.  Why are people in horror movies so damn stupid?
• ·        A lot of jump scares which actually makes this feel more real
• ·        Why does the kitchen have a giant crucified Jesus?
• ·        They don’t think it is weird that Jesus is protecting a secret room?  Like keeping something….inside?
• ·        So this family was really into S&M before the house flooded don’t kink shame them girly!
• ·        The house will not let them leave!
• ·        Oh yes the shatterproof windows
• ·        Oh, shit the S&M guys are not filming them?!?
• ·        I am so confused as to what is happening right now
• ·        The POV filming makes it hard to know what is going on at times, I suppose to give you the feeling that you are there with them but makes it hard to follow at times
• ·        Very good use of the environment and giving the viewer that panicked feeling
• ·        Inside her suit?  FUCK THAT!
• ·        OPEN YOUR MOUTH?  FUCK THAT SHIT AND FUCK BEN!
• ·        I wonder if the flick is done in real-time; meaning they are only underwater for the 60 minutes
• ·        He might be okay….it was only two stabbings

This is actually better than I expected going in.  It sounds really bad but it is not bad at all.  It was hard to follow every once in a while because of the POV nature of the flick but overall fun to watch.  A really good run time and well done.  The acting left something to be desired especially Ben, the main male character.  Overall a fun flick with a great run time.  I give it a 6/10

Movie Review: Hell House LLC

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you have come across this entry.  Today (10/05/17) I am checking out the flick Hell House LLC.  As of today it has a 6.4 on IMDB with 1906 votes.  "Five years after an unexplained malfunction causes the death of 15 tour-goers and staff on the opening night of a Halloween haunted house tour, a documentary crew travels back to the scene of the tragedy to find out what really happened."  It stars Gore Abrams, Alice Bahlke and Danny Bellini.

• Ah a fake documentary/lost footage...interesting
• That guys beard is awesome!
• This is weird...I'm not sure what is happening right now...which I think is the point
• So it'd be hard to deal with but you're now going to tell us?  
• Hitch is not a good flick
• These are the kind of people I hate in real life
• Really?  Staying overnight there?  Not enough money in the world
• What was in that bottle?  I know I wouldn't drink it
• A little rapey?
• That piano shouldn't be even close to that in tune after 30 years
• Dear lord tell me he isn't naked!
• Doesn't find it weird that Sara did that?
• He does know that everyone is going to be watching this so perving on your friends girlfriend probably isn't the best idea
• I don't know how many times I see the world hanged, it just doesn't look right!
• That is true, Abaddon is a pretty evil name
• Yes go investigate a strange noise, that is always wise...especially considering you know you're in a haunted hotel
• I'm...I'm kind of bored right now
• And there is Tony in the other room obviously
• Is the mask blood in the basement? (I went back and it is)
• Well, that should alarm the guys...and then it is nothing?  They don't ask her more then that?  I know I would!
• I hate strobe lights
• Its weird that they keep showing their own scares
• It never made sense to me in these found footage flicks that the first thing people do is grab their camera
• For the record clowns are kind of creepy, especially Halloween clowns
• They are doing the weird staring at walls thing that they did in Paranormal Activity
• Why go looking for the clown/dummy?  Obviously the correct path is to leave the hotel completely....or to run upstairs...yes upstairs is the correct path in movie logic
• Why the jump cut?  If this was just his recording it wouldn't be there
• Also why does he have the camera on?
• Man movie logic makes no sense
• Did he just hide under his covers?  Really?  
• That is the same song that Paul played earlier!
• I will say that they build the suspense well in the flick
• I think I'd turn on the lights in the basement but that is just me
• Yeah he looked normal
• It never made sense that the tapes in these things have "glitches"
• Really?  I don't care what he told me there is no way I'd stay after things turned that can't turn. Nope
• Its a little hard to see what is going on there
• Wait...go to the basement?  Really?  Where everyone was running from?
• Oh there is not going to be a room 2C
• Yeah...break in....nothing bad will happen to you guys if you break in
• More movie logic, scared and being hunted by robed killers...lets pick up the camera
• Well that ending was predictable

I have to say I give this pretty much what the average is, 6/10.  It was good and had its moments of suspense but overall it felt predictable and done.  They didn't really break any new ground and honestly now that I think of it it feels like they just took aspects of a lot of the Paranormal Activity flicks and threw them together here.

The acting was okay.  I honestly feel like Melissa, the girl in the basement, was the most natural and had the smallest role.  

If you are looking for a decent to okay horror flick for the holiday season this isn't bad but it isn't anything special.

Movie Review: The Shining (and some ranting too)

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Movie Review: Cell

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...I am back with a new movie review.  This time I am checking out the flick Cell.  Over on IMDB as of 10/23/16 it has a rating of 4.3.  Based on the book by Stephen King of the same name.  "When a mysterious cell phone signal causes apocalyptic chaos, an artist is determined to reunite with his young son in New England."  It stars John Cusack, Samuel L. Jackson and Isabelle Fuhrman.  It is a movie that has been in develop and distribution hell for years.  It was finally released to DVD recently.

• This flick went straight to DVD, which surprises me with the cast
• Its weird that in the copy I'm watching the credits block out part of the flick, wonder if it isn't a full copy
• I'll admit, this is one of my favorite King books
• Do people actually use those weird toilet paper cover things?
• John Cusack is one weird looking guy at times
• Interesting...it is anyone on their phones, not just talking on them; I can't remember how it was in the book, I just assumed talking
• Gotta make sure you put the beanie on!
• At this point I'd like to point out that these are not zombies people, I will punch anyone in the throat that says they are zombies or have rabies 
• Hmmm, I don't like that they are traveling in packs; very similar to 28 Days Later
• Alice is too old...I think...I envisioned her much younger when I read the book

• Well that is weird...communication between others groups?
• They all have their heads down and are flocking up to keep warm, just like birds, like Alice said
• Hive mind?
• Stacy Keach, always a good actor
• Charles Ardai/Stacy Keach has a great idea...to quote the Doctor....BURN WITH ME!

• That is a horrible sound!
• Bye bye headmaster
• Shared nightmares, never good
• What does it matter if they're Americans?
• Just looked up Alice in wikipedia and in the book she was 15.  Glad I remembered that correctly
• Nice; and people deny evolution
• Good grief the Mass accent sounds so horrible!
• He doesn't believe the son left that note does he?
• Well that music was random and off
• Well...well that ending was...well not what I expected

Well that was an interesting flick.  I can't say it was bad but it wasn't great either.  It felt...rushed...and like it was edited poorly.  Like huge chunks of the flick were left on the cutting room floor.

I give the flick a 6/10.  I enjoyed i and the story but again I felt like things were missing.  They could have skipped the entire school section and just had them run into Ray and Denise while they were torching the group they did.  Just felt out of place since it happened so quickly

I guess I felt it needed to be longer but then again that is the problem with Stephen King books turned into films, they have to cut out so much you feel robbed.

Overall not a bad flick but I can't say rush out to see it.  If you like the actors it is worth watching.  If you were a fan of the book....well I'll leave it up to you.  However I will say it was enjoyable.

Movie Review: Other Side of the Door

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, whenever it is you've found this entry.  Today, 9/4, I am watching The Other Side of the Door (2016).  It stars Sarah Wayne Callies, Jeremy Sisto and Sofia Rosinsky.  "After her young son is killed in a tragic accident, a woman learns of a ritual which will bring him back to say goodbye, but when she disobeys a sacred warning, she upsets the balance between life and death."  It currently has a 5.3/10 over on IMDB.  I know very little of the flick so I have no expectations.

• A simple no would have been fine little one
• Is it wrong that I'm already bored and what Lori....I mean whatever Sarah's character dead?
• That kid is kind of creepy in that close up like that
• Cowards way out Lori! (Yes I'll call her Lori throughout this, get used to it!)

• Not only did she just dig up her son she also is burning him up/cremating him
• Wait....they are going to EAT her son and she is going with that
• Yep just keep walking past all those dead birds, probably not a sign
• That match lets of a LOT of light
• Lori...what have you done?
• She is talking to a stuff tiger...that was buried with her brother...and she isn't troubled by this
• BORED!
• So is this Carls dad?
• What kind of weird thing was she just doing?  Random chanting
• Yeah that is normal, not the evil spirit you let loose throwing around the toy chest
• She is bipolar in this flick like The Walking Dead
• So Lori is okay with this demon spawn in her house?
• Gotta get energy to manifest itself somehow, why not birds and plants
• Oliver is just protecting his sister
• Lucy has a really weird voice
• Oliver bit her?  That was uncalled for!
• Apparently hell doesn't have piano lessons because Oliver still sucks
• I don't think Khan did anything to deserve that!
• Lori can never keep track of her kids.  Where's Carl?  Where's Luce?
• Lori isn't stopping her from getting ahold of Oliver
• This movie makes no sense!  
• BORED!
• This is what happens when you feed strays, they keep coming back for more!
• Well this took a turn to the extreme quickly!
• Good grief, did the husband actually do the same thing Lori did?

Let me start by saying that the idea of this flick is amazing.  The idea of that you can bring the dead back to talk to but not see is a great concept and then by bringing them back it causes an imbalance also good.  However, the execution was HORRIBLE!

Why was Myrtu after Lori at all till the end?  She wasn't in her way of getting to Oliver ever!  I just don't understand it.  Also why didn't Piki tell Lori everything?  Like when she could open the door. What would would happen if she did open the door.  Things like that, you know REALLY IMPORTANT THINGS!

The execution of the entire flick was bad and I'm sorry but Lori just isn't a strong enough actress to carry a film on her own.

Overall I give it a 3/10.  Great idea but beyond that not good.  I'd say to avoid this unless you have NOTHING else to watch...then I'd go watch something you've seen before!

Movie Review: The Boy

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, whenever it is you're reading this.  Today I'm checking out The Boy (2016). As of 9/4/16 it has a 6/10 over in IMDB. It stars Lauren Cohan, Rupert Evans and James Russell.  "An American nanny is shocked that her new English family's boy is actually a life-sized doll. After she violates a list of strict rules, disturbing events make her believe that the doll is really alive."  That sounds...interesting...but I don't see anything about zombies so I might be confused seeing Maggie without them...

• Perverted cabbie, nice start to a movie
• Lauren sounds weird without her Southern or British accent
• I'm pretty sure that first meeting would get me to leave right away...what with the fact that the woman is super creepy

• It really is a doll...yeah I'd just turn around and leave...unless the pay was really good
• Yeah...I'm pretty sure I'd leave even if the money was good
• The traps?
• And of course she has some dark past as well...sometimes movies try to hard.
• Wait...he made a mess of his room?  I mean I know the concept above but still it is very odd
• Yeah, pretty sure I'd be following them out after they behaved that way and the creepy old woman quoted the doctor "I'm so sorry"
• And of course it storms night one
• Is she going to kiss the painting?

• Is the doll going to be in her room?
• The doll is crying?  I'm so confused
• Don't go in the attic...why would you go in the attic?
• Did I mention she sounds really weird with a straight American accent?
• THE CALLS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!
• She does have an amazing smile

• Where has Brams been?  And he suddenly shows up on the screen...which was weird
• Insert Psycho knife attack sounds here
• Is her hair cut weirdly suddenly
• Go say sorry to Brahms and everything will be fine
• Knew she shouldn't have messed with the attic
• Should have taken a torch...flashlight....not a fire torch...that'd be weird!
• The storm has passed, everything will be okay
• The first thing I'd be doing is leaving, very quickly
• Odd, that is an odd question...see what I did there
• He is or was 10 years old?  I'm confused...wait it was the phone voices son I think
• And of course the phone isn't working....till it does....with no one there....but a creepy kids voice
• And the doll is officially moving around.  Much like Chucky, just put a trashcan and a brick over him and be done with it
• Oh he made her a PB&J, that was very nice of him!
• They are going to drown themselves?  Sleeping pills would be less extreme!  But then they'd be found
• Never ask for that!  Never ask for a sign!
• Oh this is starting to make more sense
• Jesus she is doing the creepy prayer now?!
• She is breaking rule number 1!  BEWARE THE WRATH OF BRAHMS!
• No matter how good looking Lauren is this is the wrong level of crazy!
• Oh no...the ex broke in
• LANGUAGE!!
• Well that isn't a good sound....
• Well that actually gave me chills!
• Wait...has he been hiding in the house all this time?
• I did not see this coming at all....it was no spirit at all
• Why is he trying to kill all of them...or is just the guys?
• Smart playing off the "rules"
• A gut stab is just mean!

That wasn't a bad movie at all.  I'd say it was a 7/10.  It was better then I had expected as I hadn't heard good things.

Not a lot of "plot holes" in the sense that things didn't make sense which is a good thing.  There were a lot of things that I didn't understand but came to make sense as the flick went on.

They foreshadowed a lot which was very good and the acting was very well done.  Everyone did a good job and Lauren gave a fantastic performance especially since she was acting with a doll for a portion of the flick

It isn't exactly how I'd have ended the flick, I'd have somehow forced Greta and Malcolm into being his new "parents" and continuing the "cycle" but that is just me.

However, at the end of the day not a bad horror/suspense flick!

Movie Review: 30 Days of Night

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening....whnever it is you've found this entry.  Today I'm check out the 2007 flick 30 Days of Night.  It stars Josh Hartnett, Melissa George and Danny Huston. "After an Alaskan town is plunged into darkness for a month, it is attacked by a bloodthirsty gang of vampires."  I can't wait to see sparkly vampires devoring a town!!

• A close up on Ben Foster is not the best way to start a flick I don't think
• Look at those old phones!
• 152 huh?  That will come back so will the inhaler I'm sure
• The helicopter now damaged?  not a very good cop if he hasn't figured out its escape and communication going down
• The fat old man dies first huh?
• Boozes is illegal for a month?  That is crazy talk!
• Why did she pull a gun of crazy guy?
• Yeah I don't think Gus is going to answer
• Are kids like veal for vampires?
• Nice music for the first attack
• This kind of non-linear storytelling works better in comics then movies at times, I felt confused for a few moments
• They can outrun cars why didn't they this time?
• Still a few pockets of resistance out there I guess
• Where is Manu Bennett through all this?  
• Did they bring food up to the attic?
• Bye Ben Foster, we hardly knew you or cared about you in this flick

• I think I'd just eat a bullet, honestly I think I would, at this point
• A trap?
• The leader of the vampires is fantastic since most of his acting is done with body language and facial expressions
• Is the sheriff addicted to something?  Trying to figure out what is wrong with him
• Cats playing with a mouse
• Seriously where is Manu Bennett?
• Wait...how did he turn?  Why did he turn?  The scratch?
• And the infighting begins even worse, they'll die soon at this rate
• Are the basic vampires, like Baldie McBloodyface unintelligent/drones.  You know just driven to feed and able to follow basic instructions from the leader?

• With those two gone more food for the rest of them
• Yeah look out, that will be real smart...surprised he didn't do that
• Not sure if it is brilliant or the dumbest idea ever to move in the blizzard/snow
• Did the sheriff not pick up his gun?
• Wait..can they all talk "human"
• Is "muffin monster" guy going to turn because of the scratch?
• This movie feels really long...am I old when I think more and more movies are too long
• Really bright in that store with no lights
• Won't the vampires know the generator is running?
• How did he survive the dynamite blast
• How did Billy survive this long?  How did he know they were in the office?
• Did he kill his family?!?!  OH MY GOD HE DID!
• His house is really bright too
• Knew someone was going into the muffin maker!
• Of course he is going to try and get to her
• So he is going to kill himself...so his girlfriend can live...without him?
• That is the opposite of running
• Baldie McBloodyface has a twin?

Well that wasn't a horrible movie.  I'd give it a 6/10.  Nothing great but sure wasn't horrible either.  

The acting wasn't bad, although some of the minor characters weren't great.  Harnett gave a decent performance but at points seemed uninspired.  I read that he was sick with mono for two weeks so that could be a reason but I felt in certain scenes he seemed....well bored.  It was the performance of Mark Boone Junior and the infected guy who gets killed in the police station that stood out for me. Ben Foster was good but didn't have a lot.

The story itself was very good but the actions of the characters at times didn't make sense and there were several plot holes that I saw.  The main one being that the humans shouldn't have been able to hide from the vamps.  Eben says something to the effect that he can smell their blood.  If that is true how did McBloodyface not smell them in the bathroom and/or attic when they were hiding?  Also how did the humans survive from a food and heat standpoint?  If all power was out even with kerosene stoves and heat I feel like they'd freeze and/or starve.  Also I don't understand why they felt they needed to move from the attic, perhaps I missed the logic but I didn't see it unless it was for food but that isn't what I understood.

The good was the amazing makeup for the vampires.  They were creepy and scary and that is what vampires are supposed to be.  I am not suppose to love the vampires which seems to be more the trend lately!

Overall not a bad movie but nothing special.  If you're looking for a decent flick this isn't a bad flick to check out.

Until next time, remember, the sun will come up tomorrow!

Movie Review: Insidious Chapter 2

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, whenever it is you're reading this!  I am back with another movie review, this time I return to the world of horror with Insidious: Chapter 2.  I watched this several weeks back but as of posting this on 9/6/16 it has an IMDB rating of 6.6.  "The Lamberts believe that they have defeated the spirits that have haunted their family, but they soon discover that evil is not beaten so easily."  It stars Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne and Barbara Hershey.

• Uggg, already we're time shifting!  Where is the Doctor to protect the timeline damn it!
• Is that a fake beard?  Looks fake to me
• Young Elise is as creepy as old one.  
• Did they dub old Elise over young?  Its creepy and doesn't seem to fit
• This scene is really off-putting with the voice dub if that is what is happening.  It just seems off
• I think that is Steve Harvey!
• That kids walker with all the noise will come back into play
• Has she learned nothing from all the weirdness, DON'T GO INVESTIGATE SHIT!
• Really?  You used to be the logical one Josh
• Why would they go investigate?  It makes no sense!  They know what is going to happen!
• If this shit really happened to someone I don't think they'd ever turn the lights off
• Ah yes, drugs to help you sleep.  That won't cause any problems with seeing things or what not
• So he was using a bluetooth headset telling his mistress she has to go
• Patrick Wilson does a good job at being creepy!
• Why are basements/laundry rooms always poorly lit/powered in horror movies?
• Why would you ever leave the baby alone?
• YAHTZEE!
• Sorry they are letters, I guess it is more like Boggle
• THEY'RE HERE
• That was one hell of a slap 
• Well that is creepy, smelling his wife
• Lots of attempted jump scares in these flicks
• I told you all of this was Josh's moms fault
• They just left all the records there in the old hospital, how nice
• Has Josh checked on his daughter yet?
• What is he going to do with a bat against ghosts?
• For once people are being logical.  I'd be leaving too.  Tucker and Specs are almost logically...almost
• That is not your brothers voice....
• I knew that chandelier was coming down at some point!
• Perfect place for Shave and a Hair Cut
• So basically this is a Norman Bates situation to the Nth degree
• Nice game of cat and mouse
• Well that guy was quite creepy
• Yep we need the Doctor to protect the timeline
• I don't know if this timeline jumping is annoying, stupid or brilliant
• Why would they have the kids come home?
• Who didn't see the ending with Josh happening the way it did?

Okay I'm not sure what to think about this flick either.  They aren't bad movies but they are just there for me.  I feel like this one tried to be a little too much.  Slight comedy.  Slight Sci-Fi.  Horror.  What do you call it?  Throw in a little romance and you'd have a horror rom-com fi.  

I can't blame the actors because this cast is really good, even the creepy old ladies.  They are so good in their roles.  Also the effects are well done and a lot of them seem to be practical which I like in a world of CG.  

I just feel it was a little long and drawn out.  I believe a horror movie should be around 90 minutes not nearly 120.  

The other thing is that I feel the pacing was bad because it was a mix of Elise and Josh and Parker and Carl and Joshs mom story.  I feel like they were trying to do too much in this flick.  It caused a pacing issue for me.  I felt like I was in a standard car with someone learning to drive it.  Very jerky.

Overall I'd give this one a 6/10 as well.  Worth checking out I guess if you like horror but nothing to get super excited about

Movie Review: Insidious

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, whenever it is you're reading this.  I'm back with another movie review, this time the 2010 horror flick Insidious.  It stars Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, and Ty Simpkins.  "A family looks to prevent evil spirits from trapping their comatose child in a realm called The Further."  As for 8/28, when I'm writing this intro, on IMDB it has a 6.8 over on IMDB.  Enough of this, lets get to my thoughts!

• Creepy, mom and son in the same pajamas
• Its the dude from the Conjuring, does he only do creepy flicks?
• She better not quit her day job...wait that is her day job?  I'm sorry...I'm so sorry
• That broken step will come back in some way I'm sure
• If there is a place in my house I need to take a lantern to see I'm not going there
• Ah broken step, I knew you'd reappear in our lives, but who knew so early!
• I don't think anything in this scene was English
• That kids dead, I've seen dead kids and that is one...I mean...in movies obviously....
• That was a creepy old ladies voice!  Why are old ladies and little girls always creepy in movies
• Finally someone uses some logic in a horror movie, interference on the baby monitor
• Well that was really creepy
• That house just screams horror movie

• Ha ha look at his tiny cell phone!

• This movie is a little dark for me, not heavy dark but shot dark
• Weird camera angle
• This random woman is creepy for sure!  I think she might be a demon!

• No don't follow him!  Have you never see horror movies
• And of course faith comes into it
• I knew she was a pervert, watching her son and wife "sleep"
• Well that was slightly unsettling
• I love that he is eating a hot pocket...very strangely
• Is he using a view finder?
• Why isn't the husband arguing more, I would be.  Elise sounds INSANE!

• Spiritual Body?  *eye roll*
• The Further?  This lady is insane!
• She feed off Daltons pictures, that is how they con men work
• She is putting on a gas mask...this is completely insane
• Yep and the lightbulbs go off, carnies are awesome!

• I knew this was the moms fault!  KNEW IT!
• She got closer...and closer and closer...and she threw a rock at him!
• It was a big rock
• I'm pretty sure the Wyatts are going to show up soon?  FOLLOW THE BUZZARDS!!
• Oh she ate a Joker Fish
• Oh its the one door from IT Crowd where the emo guy lives!  He is being more violent than I remember though

• So are the two guys in white shirts this movies version of Roy and Moss?
• It makes a lot of sense that Tiny Tim was a demon
• The demon is pretty damn awesome in this flick!

• Okay this is a little overboard with the house shaking
• I think that was a weeping angel!
• Yes, follow my voice, you're not in an echo chamber or anything!
• So did the demon win in the end?  Is he going to eat her intestines now?

Well that was something.  I don't know what to think about it to be honest.  I mean it wasn't bad but I'm not a fan of not getting a full story.  I guess I'd give it a 6/10.  

The acting was good but not great.  Renai was kind of underwhelming but Josh was pretty good as usual.

I also found the mom just horrible.  Annoying and creepy and I thought for sure this wa all happening due to her but I was wrong.

Overall the flick wasn't bad but not anything amazing.  Until next time...remember...don't EVER take pictures of Patrick Wilson!

Movie Review: The Conjuring 2

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you've stumbled upon this review. Today will be a little different as it is a flick I saw in the theaters so no blow by blow as it were more of just my thoughts after the fact.  This flick stars Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson and Madison Wolfe. "Lorraine and Ed Warren travel to north London to help a single mother raising four children alone in a house plagued by malicious spirits."  As of 6/14/2016 it has an IMDB score of 8.2.

If you're unfamiliar with the Warren's they are a team of investigators from the 70's probably best know for the The Amityville Horror investigation.

This flick was very well done in every aspect.  I honestly have a hard time thinking of something I didn't like which is rare for me as you all know!

The acting is fantastic and Vera and Patrick are amazing and have great chemistry on the screen.  I honestly believe they have a personal connection during several scenes especially the scene where Patrick plays the guitar and when they dance.

The children do a fantastic job, especially the two girls.  Horror isn't easy to make look believable but these two, especially Madison who plays Janet, did a wonderful amazing job.  The mother also did a great job.  That isn't taking away from the two boys but they didn't get nearly the screen time that the girls got.

The story itself is a "true" story so I can't say a lot of about the storyline but the dialog was well done and at no point did it seems really out of place or anything like that.  I don't know about the truth behind the story but even so a great story.

Oh and let me say something about the demon in this flick.  Extremely creepy looking and actress Bonnie Aarons does a wonderful job in the role as well.

Honestly trying to figure out something bad is hard.  I didn't like how they figured out it "wasn't" a hoax.  It was interesting but seemed like a stretch to me and I wonder if that was a Hollywood device or if that is really how Ed figured out what was going on.

Aside from that I can't really nitpick anything else upon a viewing in the theater without notes and what not which means it is very good.  I would give it a 8.5 (9 on IMDB since you can't do partials). I really enjoyed it and might even go see it in the theaters again. 

If you enjoy suspense and/or horror it is worth seeing.....

Wait...there is one other thing I can nitpick if I had to.  I felt the escalation of the haunting was a little quick.  I guess I would have cut out a little bit of the Warren's story line out, especially the losing of the faith, and ramped up the haunting a little more.  I know the director put in the scenes with Lorraine and the nun but I felt there were a few too many and I felt the storyline of the haunting got overshadowed.

Now back to what I was saying, if you like horror and/or suspense it is worth seeing on the big screen.  

The Darkness: A Movie Review

Good morning, good afternoon or good evening, whenever you're checking this out.  Today I'm checking out the flick The Darkness.  It stars Kevin Bacon, Radha Mitchell and David Mazouz.  "A family returns from a Grand Canyon vacation, haunted by an ancient supernatural entity they unknowingly awakened and engages them in a fight for their survival."  As of 5/29 over on IMDB it has a 4.0.  Lets go find out all about...the Darkness!

• End of the World from Indian spirits?  Nice
• Bruce Wayne has a habit of falling into holes
• Petoskey stones?
• Is Mikey Autistic?
• Hope Mikey didn't crawl into a gorilla pen!
• Jenny is awful loud in them there walls, Forest needs to keep her quiet (yes a Forest Gump joke, shut up they can't all be home runs)
• Why are there always creepydolls
• Hand prints are also creepy
• Him?  He is your brother sunshine
• What is with the hand prints?
• Kevin Bacon is starting to look old!
• Animals always know
• How does this flick only have a 4 over on IMDB, it is pretty good thus far
• Five stones....like Captain Planet?
• Lots of movement in the background in this flick.  Probably missing things while writing things
• Get out the sage, I feel a house cleansing coming on
• Did he go through the "portal"/burned area?
• The Blue Star?  Its close now?  What is he talking about Kevin?
• What are you doing?  Going to investigate on your own?
• Wait was that a dream?
• Well that blood was really gross!

• Damn that dog with to town
• Where is the buffalo?
• It is weird to see Paul Reiser in this type of flick
• Oh well, probably shouldn't have removed those stones sunshine, way to go Batman
• I don't think I'd have headphones on if this stuff was going on in my house
• Yeah a Tennis Rack, who are you Jim Cornette?

• I think the correct word at this point is....run
• The hands showing up on daughter was really cool

• This flick has a really interesting cast
• Why would you take Michael back into the house?!
• Of course a storm
• All five?  We've seen all but the Buffalo
• Wait...I think the Buffalo might be here
• That was easier then I thought...or not
• Sacrificing oneself for his child

That wasn't bad at all for a flick I never heard of!  I give it a 6/10.  

Nothing ground breaking here but a very good cast who all did a pretty good job.  The daughter, played by Lucy Fry, was probably the weak point of the flick from an acting standpoint.  The story wasn't anything new and the ending was slightly predictable as the flick went along.

I want to say I really liked the performance by Bruce Wayne...I mean David Mazouz.  He was very very good in the flick.

I thought the effects were cool especially the hands showing up near the end of the flick and the storms in the house as well.  

Overall there isn't a lot to say about this flick.  Average suspense horror flick and slightly above acting that helped the flick.  If you're bored I'd catch it at a second run theater, Red Box, Netflix or the like.  I wouldn't pay theater prices for this however!

Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse

I am back once again, this time with zombies behind me.  Luckily I'll soon the Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse.  See what I did there?  Its the name of the movie AND something that'd save me when the zombies attack!  "Three scouts, on the eve of their last camp-out, discover the true meaning of friendship when they attempt to save their town from a zombie outbreak."  As of 12/13 it has an IMDB rating of 6.4.  It stars Tye Sheridan, Logan Miller and Joey Morgan.  Lets get to some zombies and scouting.

• I like how this movie is starting!  That is how I mop the floor, but with much better music and dance moves
• Who doesn't want to go through those plastic car wash things when they see them in movies or what not.  You know, the ET things
• That is what you get for putting your arm in a vending machine scientist dude.
• Teenage Gene wants to beat up those scouts!
• How did he get a flat tire?
• She'll become a zombie, for sure
• zombie animals?  Do they want to only eat other like animals or everything?
• How great is David Koechner?  Especially with his wig in this flick
• Well that answered that question about zombie animals
• BOO!  This isn't funny or zombies.  Dads and feelings I don't want
• This is a secret party?  Really?
• Poor Augie.  This is sad...but what kind of name is Augie?
• Condoms?  I guess they're always prepared
• Sneak in?  Not like anyone will notice two 16 year olds in scout uniforms right
• Was that zombie just creeping on Ben?
• Oh not a zombie I guess, just a creepy stripper
• No a creepy zombie stripper.....I'm confused
• Is that a zombie Vin Diesel?  
• Yes, hiding in the toilet stall always works
• These are some smart ass zombies!
• I bet the kid would still get excited!
• Awesome effect, the blood through the bottle!
• Who doesn't want to see some tittes, honestly
• How did Augie get home...I guess a car, we have no idea how he got out to the woods
• Nice effect with the skeleton arm
• Language cocktail waitress, your yelling won't help matters
• Is the one part ape or something?  And what was growing out of his back?
• Would the shit smell attract zombies or repel them?  
• My hope is repel because that is my plan when the dead rise, you know shitting myself
• Augie would have been Jonah Hill 10 years ago
• Nice victory riff there for a second
• Can I say thank you to the costume designer who dressed Denise!
• Not a fan at how fast these zombies are
• HA HA Office Hottie
• I think I'd ditch the scout uniforms
• Oh baby baby...
• Jawless zombie...nice!
• How long are Denises legs?  They go on for days and days!
• Of course Ben goes to the underwear drawer...I would have too at 16
• How awesome is Cloris Leachman!
• HELLO!  That is an awesome invitation.  I'd respond the same was Ben did as well.  Horrible with the ladies I am
• Is that zombie on a trampoline?  AWESOME!
• SHE'S GUMMING MY ASS!!  I usually have to pay extra for that
• That wasn't the right camera angle!
• OH MY GOD OLD MAN ZOMBIE COCK!!
• I hate cats, but kind of wanted more zombie cats
• I smell a scout oath speech coming
• Nice a gearing up montage.  Gotta have to those in zombie flicks.
• Well that redefines that phrase
• Well that is going to be a massacre!
• The headlamp is a nice touch
• nailed her, so bad yet so good
• A speech during a zombie attack, awesome!
• Man i always wanted to do that!

First off I hope Augie ended up with Denise, because...well...I have a soft spot for husky nerdy kids....oooo after credit scene!

That was fun!

I would give this a 8 out of 10.  I really enjoyed it!  A few complaints of course.  They kind of introduced a super zombie, the one outside the liquor store/strip club but it is never brought up again. Also not a fan of quicker zombies but those are minor issues.  The other question is how did the one deer get infected?  Was he already bit?

I thought the acting was good, especially from younger actors.  There was a good mix of comedy and horror.  I am not usually a huge fan of horror comedies but when done correctly they are fun and this was.

The effects were done well as well.  Obviously they could have gone all comedy with it or over the ala Army of Darkness/Ash vs. Evil Dead but they didn't.

That is all for now.  Enjoy this flick, go check this flick out!

Cooties: A Movie Review

Hello again everyone!  With no Walking Dead today I'm checking out the flick Cooties to get my zombie fix!  "A mysterious virus hits an isolated elementary school, transforming the kids into a feral swarm of mass savages. An unlikely hero must lead a motley band of teachers in the fight of their lives.".  It stars Elijah Wood, Rainn Wilson and Alison Pill.  As of 12/5 it has a 5.7 over on IMDB.

• Well starting off with a chicken killing is never a good sign...but I do want chicken nuggets now!
• And now they're showing nuggets, not fair!
• Nice Mustache!
• I hope all those kids die...wait...is that a bad thing to say?
• MORMON JOKE!
• I love Elijah Woods
• Quite a few stars/well known stars
• Dual rear wheel?
• Seriously I hate kids.  
• I hope that teacher dies!
• Has Elijah Woods aged ever?
• Well that kid deserved it...even if his name is "Patriot"
• Well I didn't need to see that!
• That might be the worst game of tag ever!
• Big Mike from Chuck?!?!?
• Poor Big Mike
• These kids are pretty much they same they were before getting cooties
• CLOTHESLINE!
• Damn VioP phones will be the death of us all!
• Its Badger from Breaking Bad
• Was that Sean William Scott?
• And there is the name of the movie
• Alison Pill is pretty damn entertaining
• COOTIES!!!
• Well that is a horrible jump rope!
• They are totally going to ramp up boys and girls
• Well that kid deserved it too
• Seriously I don't think these kids are infected at all, just horrible kids...or basically what I call kids
• Wow...an outbreak of cooties really puts stress on a relationship
• That is why I'm fat, no one is going to send me into no ducts to save people!  NOOPE!
• Rainn Wilson just made me laugh out loud literally!
• Why would the duct be on the floor?
• How is the vending machine working?
• Not the best time for that guys
• Teachers do deserve respect!
• SUITING UP MONTAGE!
• I think one of them needed to yell "LETS DO THIS!" all Joe Swanson style.  That is what I'll do when I go into battle
• This has a slight Alien field to it. 
• This guy is like Morgan!
• I think most Elementary teachers have had this fantasy...minus the zombie kids
• This is the movie of multiple endings.  What is it about Elijah movies and that?
• YES!
• Gas?

I think IMDB had this way off.  This was a fun funny flick.  Decent acting with good pacing and great running time at around 90 minutes.  

It has the correct level of comedy horror and gore which is nice.  The movie should have ended at the point of them getting to the duw....duel whell....dude wheel....the truck but I understand now why it didn't.  However it easily could have and it would have been okay.

I'm a little confused as to why the one dude knows so much but I guess the brain injury was the explanation.  Also the inclusion of the crossing guard/security guard wasn't really needed nor was the one scene with the sheriff/cop but it didn't hurt the movie.  Also the sudden appearance of the janitor was odd but was a fun minute or so fight scene.

Overall very fun and I'd recommend it to anyone who wants a fun flick to check out!  I give it a 7 out of 10.  Find it out there and enjoy!

Oh and below is a link to my Amazon store.  Please use it for all your shopping needs!

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Fear the Walking Dead: Season Finale

The season is over already?  Hard to believe isn't it.  We have Season 6 of the Walking Dead to look forward to but tonight it is about Fear.  I grew to like the show more and more as the season went on. Like any show it took it a while for the writers to find the characters.  The show has been more character driven but I think that has been a bit of a bad thing because I still don't find myself caring about the characters like we should.  I find I relate to Travis the most because I believe he is the best written and Alicia isn't that far off.  I struggle to relate to her but I believe she is realistic.  The rest not so much.  I'm interested in seeing where the season ends.  But enough waiting....lets Fear the Walking Dead!

• We haven't seen any of the main characters die yet, will we tonight?
• Both Travis and Madison are on Talking Dead after, will either face the TD curse?
• How are the chains/doors holding with that many trying to get out?  
• I mean they look like wooden doors to me, given enough time I'd think they'd break
• Use it?  Are they honestly thinking about releasing the dead?  GOOD GOD THAT IS A HORRIBLE IDEA!
• How are they going to get out of the "compound"?
• I have a bad feeling for Travis.  Good people don't survive in the Walking Dead Universe
• Oh well that was easier hen I thought
• They did it?  THEY ACTUALLY DID IT!  GOOD GOD!
• New Paranormal Activity?  YES PLEASE!
• Yeah Travis is going to die tonight I believe
• I don't trust this suit guy
• He does have a really nice tie on however
• They are coming....
• Oh she is going to take care of the patients...with that bolt gun thing
• How are the dead not in the parking ramp?  They got in why can't the dead?
• Gotta know when to fight and when not to
• Going semi or full auto is a horrible idea isn't it?  Shouldn't they be more relaxed and not waste bullets?  I know easier said then done
• DAMN!
• All those lives for an ex wife and addict?  
• They're inside already?  
• More chaos, dear lord what are they thinking?
• Shit flickering lights, that is like the music playing in a Jason flick
• They couldn't shut the door?  How can they be this bad at this?!
• CALLED IT!
• They call that Z-Shock
• Home on the Water?  A house boat?
• Damn its light out?  How long did this rescue take?  
• The soldiers won?  They're hardcore!  Or is that what is left of the patients who turned.  Oh yeah, that is what it is.  
• Well that isn't what I expected at all
• That is a strangely clear road for LA
• Looks like the military actually did a decent job of clearing the city out
• Who is suit guy?  That is a DAMN nice house.  Shouldn't it be looted?  It is LA after all
• I strangely want to see Scouts vs. Zombies
• This seems like too happy of an ending....
• Is Abigail a boat?
• There we go, I knew it was too happy of an ending
• I love this song!  It was used on an episode of Chuck and it worked there as well
• Much like the Doctor and Devros Travis is asking himself if he is a good man right now

There we go.  We leave the season with everyone at Strands house waiting to go to Abigail, but what will that do?  How will they survive out at sea?  

The season is over and I give it an 8/10.  It started slow but man did it pick up.  A great finale episode.  The cast has a great chemistry.  

I don't have much to complain about really.  It felt very real which is what they are talking about on the Talking Dead.  My biggest complaint was that Madison went too quickly to the dark side and ready to kill.  

Overall I am excited to see where they go with such a show.  We are weeks from when Rick wakes up and the dead are still fresh.  I can't wait to see this and lets not forget we get Flight 462 each week to continue those early days.

My biggest questions is what will this do to Travis?  Will it break him?  Something very much like this is what turned the Governor into the Governor.  Will he end up asking everyone to call him Mr. Mayor?

Thanks for reading and I'll be back every Sunday for The Walking Dead as well.  Enjoy everyone and until next time....abyssinia!

Navy Seals vs. Zombies: A Movie Review

Howdy folks!  I'm back, today with some zombie goodness.  This time I'm going to be watching Navy Seals vs. Zombies.  "A team of highly skilled Navy SEALS find themselves embarking on the battle of their lives when they come face-to-face with the undead. After a deadly outbreak occurs in New Orleans, the SEALS must fight for their lives, and the city, against an army of zombies."  It stars Stephanie Honoré, Ed Quinn, Sue-Lynn Ansari.  

• A mix of fast and slow?  What is this a video game?
• What are thy shooting?  There wasn’t anything there....or was there?
• How can we get through this wooden door?  Kick it?  Pick the lock?  I know use an explosion!
• Is that Gunner from Impact Wrestling?  Yes it is!  He is a former soldier
• The VP is a big big man
• Wow the Secret Service does not fuck around
• Are they zombies or possessed by demons!  That was some matrix shit right there!
• How are there heat signatures or is that of the living?
• Why not land on the roof?  Why half a click away?
• Some good actors in this flick thus far. 
• Not the disaster I was hoping for
• The dialog isn’t anything to write home about...see what I did there?
• The military with a scar cliché, nice
• Did Michael Bay direct this flick?  A lot of random command room shots
• It is moving quickly thus far which is a good sign
• Interesting that they still have powers, isn’t that the first thing zombies do is know that shit out
• Why haven’t they tried contacting the Secret Service yet now that they are on the ground?
• Why in most zombie movies are there not zombies?  Isn’t that weird?
• Quite a few heavy seals in this flick, guess I still have a chance
• Not a fan of super human strength zombies
• Wait? The government hiding facts.  That is new!
• That was the worse fake texting in the world
• Oh no, they have a bad feeling! 
• Wait...they just said zombies.  How do those who see this not understand what this is then?  I’m confused right now
• More military insert shots, Michael Bay HAS to be involved.  I’ll be hearing GO GO GO soon
• Oh shit the cough did him in....I’m doomed!
• Watch that crossfire Gunner!
• Where was that fucker hiding?  Sneaky damn zombies
• GET TO THE CHOPPER!
• The camera man is a REALLY bad actor
• This is how the zombie virus spreads, stupid bitches
• Sandman is down!  SANDMAN IS DOWN!!!
• How man clicks is a mile?
• Eight Floor?  Shouldn’t that shit be in the sub-basement?
• This actually has been a decent flick thus far.  Nothing special but much better than expected thus far, just not a fan of the digital blood
• Nice, double tap!
• Have they not figured out shooting is a bad thing
• I like the riot atmosphere at this point, exactly what I’d expect from humanity.  World is ending, lets get ours
• The guy in charge of this mission with the scar is bringing this down a bit
• Watch out Gunner, a blood trail is NEVER good
• We’ve found the comedy relief of the film
• And he just made me laugh, good job!
• The sagging pants is a nice touch, this was a role I was born to play, minus the mutton chops of course
• I don’t think they heard anything, I think you guys are fine AJ
• I have found the volume a bit of an issue
• Nice use of kids in this flick
• That scene was pretty much pointless.  Now I’m positive Bay is involved in this flick
• The flick has started to drag a bit here, I blame the random military control room scenes
• Good, I’m glad that happened, he was a douche fairy
• Nice to know there is a sense of urgency from the lab tech, good grief I’ve see the dead move faster....oh wait
• Gunner let his accent come out a bit there
• Oh Gunner, the hero never lives in these things!
• You can take them Gunner!  I saw you and James Storm fight the odds
• Well I’m not a fan of the ending

That movie was actually pretty good.  A decent storyline, decent to good acting.  Decent to good action.  Only a few things drew me out of the disbelief.  

The dialog early on was bad, I mean REALLY bad.  The scene with the SEALS gearing up was almost painful.  The pacing also was a little bad.  The scenes in the command room killed the pacing and the acting by the “Sheer” made it worse.

However that can be said about almost every flick out there.  Editing has to be difficult and they felt those scenes were important to the story and some were, however it hurt things.  

Overall much better then I anticipated.  If you can see the flick check it out, its worth the 90 minutes.  It comes out on October 6th!  Until next time...Abyssinia!