Movie Review: Bottom 100: #88: Theodore Rex

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, whenever it is you have come across this entry.  Today (9/7/17) I am checking out another bottom 100 flick, this time #88, it currently has a 2.4/10 on IMDB.  Theodore Rex  It stars Whoopi Goldberg, Armin Mueller-Stahl and Juliet Landau.  "In an alternate futuristic society, a tough female police detective is paired with a talking dinosaur to find the killer of dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals leading them to a mad scientist bent on creating a new Armageddon."  This sounds like a bad alternate version of Zootopia...only not good!  So lets go find out how this movie could possible be in the bottom 100!

• Is that a poor mans James Earl Jones?
• That guy has great hair
• Isn't that T-Rex from the Disney Dinosaurs show?
• Well that makes sense, it would have to have a place for his tail
• How did she miss the cop?
• Hudson Hawk did this drag the person behind the vehicle better
• Good grief, he rambles more than the Doctor!
• That tail joke is going to get old...oh wait it already is
• Wow who thought these character choices were good ideas?
• This is painful
• I wonder how this has a 2.4...how?
• The things I do for my dozens and dozens of readers!  You all owe me very much big time!
• Did the prop crew buy an old carnival?
• Oh my god, how did anyone think this was funny
• I should have watched this while off work so I could drink, it is that painful
• Butt trumpet?  MY GOD!
• Too bleeping small?  Bleeping!
• Yes just hit buttons, that will give you the access code!
• She can't move but can sit down?
• Why did the car blow up?

That was just plain bad.  Honestly that was bad.  I can't give a good reason to watch this movie.  I give it a 1/10.  

Honestly I can't say one good thing about this flick.  Not one.  Usually I can find one good reason to watch a flick but this falls in the rare flick that has nothing going for it.  The writing was awful.  The actors ate so much scenery that that is where the budget had to go for the flick. 

Nothing redeeming about this, it is so bad that I can't even say it is fun to watch.  It just a bad bad movie.  Avoid this at all cost!

This is me right now, afraid there could be a second one of these movies coming

Bottom 100: From Justin to Kelly

Good morning, good afternoon or good evening...whenever it is you're reading this.  I am back with another Bottom 100 flick.  This time I'm checking out From Justin to Kelly.  It stars Kelly Clarkson, Justin Guarini and Katherine Bailess.  "A waitress from Texas and a college student from Pennsylvania meet during spring break in Fort Lauderdale, Florida and come together through their shared love of singing."  As of 5/12/16 it has a 2.1 over on IMDB.  I am off to check this out, may God have mercy on my soul...

• I know who Kelly Clarkson is but no clue who Justin is.  I assume another American Idol person
• She is so young looking...wow
• Ugg, the pop music is already killing me
• What is with Justin's hair?  

• I don't know if I can make it through this flick.  Good god it is killing me already
• This is enough to turn me off musicals for ever
• Wait the nerdy guy dances too?  
• For not wanting to go Kelly sure did jump into "Spring Break" mode really quickly
• Good grief I think they are all have seizures...oh wait...I guess that is considered dancing
• They are suddenly rapping?  KILL ME!
• What did she give him a ticket for?
• I don't even want to find more pictures today
• Wait....Kelly is now worried about objectifying women after she was bumping and grinding between someone random guys legs?  
• Kelly is flip flopping back and forth more than a politician
• If this is what Spring Break is really like I'm glad I never went, it'd honestly kill me
• The writer wrote this AND Spice World...that actually explains a lot
• Who is that random chick kissing Justin?  
• She isn't upset that he barged into the Women's room?
• Kelly for short?
• So the key to getting girls is barging into the ladies room.  Good to know
• I think I might put knives into my eyes and ears to end this punishment
• There are random beds out in the middle of nowhere?
• He is the mayor of Spring Break?  Really?
• She suddenly knows how to do this dance?  Wasn't she complaining moments ago?
• Yes I know musicals defy logic in the above sense but not if they do what they're doing
• Was the scene so bad they cut it short
• Everyone on the beach and he picks the nerdiest guy around to play volleyball
• It has only been 30 minutes?  Honestly?  KILL ME!
• How did she get back into the kitchen to begin with?
• And the Mayor of Spring Break is staying in that shitty hotel?  Really?
• Good god more rapping
• Going with the sunburn gimmick, really
• Yep, how does he not feel that sunburn.  This is awful
• I'm going to wish upon a star that I can go back in time and stop myself from watching this!
• And let me guess, she waited at the beach all day and night...of course she did
• Should Kaya be upset she cost that other guy his job not off partying 
• WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?  Hold a girl up side down and have her head shaking her head between your legs....so confused
• hovercraft race?  REALLY?  KILL ME
• Those are bean bags?
• How is he bleeding through his helmet
• This is just so poorly written

This flick hurt me quite a bit.  I give it a 1/10.  I don't hate the storyline as it has been done 100 times before and it will be done again in the future.  It is how it was executed that I hate.

It was so poorly written with such one dimensional characters.  None of them had any kind of character to them with the exception of MAYBE Justin but I'm being pretty nice saying he wasn't. You could see everything coming long before it happened.  That isn't a bad thing but when it is acting poorly, written poorly and just bad I have a problem with that.

I will say, even though I can't stand that kind of music, the singing was done well and I guess the dancing was good if you like that weird herky jerky type seizure dancing.  

However I can't say anything else good about this flick.  DO NOT WATCH THIS!  It is no wonder it is the fastest theater to home release ever with 29 days in between.  Do not watch this boys and girls, you've been warned

Presidents Day: A movie Review

Hello again boys and girls!  I have been on the look out for horror movies since it is October.  I found this flick.  Presidents Day!  "A high school election turns deadly when a homicidal maniac dressed like Abe Lincoln starts killing off candidates."  How could I not want to check this flick out!  It stars Bennie Mack McCoy IV, Lizzy Denning and Nicolette le Faye.  As for 10/9 it has a 5.2/10 over on IMDB.

• Did he just say George Washington made him so hot?
• Less then a minute in and we've got nudity?  
• Wow the acting in this flick is...um....horrible
• Chelsea has to be/or looks to be 30
• This flick is screaming independent film
• What the hell is the point of this scene?  Oh to make me think its the fat wheezing janitor?
• I have no idea what the kid said...was that the best take?  Who edited this film?
• Hello Ms. Heath!
• Was that flirting with bow tie teacher guy?  If so that was horrible
• Is that kid wearing two polo shirts?  Was that cool in 2010?
• Who uses a flat spatula for spaghetti?  
• What is with the weird surfer type music version of when the Saints go Marching in...or I think that is what it is
• Good grief, I'd roll my eyes too my gothic sister
• Wait it will melt flesh but won't burn hair?  That is weird
• Is that wine in the school gym?
• Wait.. you're going to go through the house to the room but first throw stones at the window? Why not just knock on the door?
• This movie is horrible.  
• Another half hour of this...I don't know if I'll make it

I made it but it was awful.  I honestly don't have anything good to say about this flick.  Nothing.  I mean I could say the few brief shots of nudity was nice but it was ruined by the bad acting!  Do NOT watch this film unless you want to see a bad bad movie.  I mean if you truly like bad bad movies this is one for the list.  It is awful  1/10 boys and girls.  Do not watch it...but if you do want to see it go buy it on my amazon store!  But seriously it is awful.  Avoid it!