Movie Review: Zombie Honeymoon

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening....whenever it is that you have come across this entry.  Today (11/27/17) I am checking out the 2004 flick Zombie Honeymoon.  Its stars Tracy Coogan, Graham Sibley and Tonya Cornelisse.  " Zombie Honeymoon is a gore-soaked exploration of how far the boundaries of true love can be pushed without reaching a breaking point."  Lets find out if the honeymoon is over for this flick!

• We start off with the gross zombie eating noises
• That is really loud music for the dead walking....and an awesome red wedding dress
• Classy, gotta get some road driving from the wedding!
• How dare they film me out running!
• who cooks in their underwear?  That is how you get burns!
• ITS AQUAMAN!  DC get your lawyers ready
• Wait....did that kill Danny?
• I wouldn't let that "doctor" treat my sick house plant!
• We tried everything...we did the paddles that shock him...what else could we try?
• You notice he isn't burned where the skin is pealing...I guess she doesn't
• He is getting a little bitie in his love making
• Dying and coming back to life doesn't at least get you an overnight stay in the hospital?  Health care companies are out of control!
• Wait...does her accent change at different times?
• Why would they know about the guy in his hospital room?
• Did this director get tips from the Birdemic director about how exciting watching people drive is
• Is he eating the guy in the shower...and I don't mean it like that you sickos!
• Its not what she thinks?  What else could it be?
• Nothing is more exciting then a cleaning montoge
• Wine out of plastic cups...this couple is classy!
• This might be the most boring horror movie of all time
• Seriously can these guys not keep their accents straight?
• That is some awesome makeup and outfit!
• Nobody notices the guy covered in blood on the boardwalk?  That is strange
• Yesterday?  Its been at least two days
• Why did he ring the doorbell at his own house?
• He kept the roommates head in the closet?  Why?
• Worst hiding place ever?
• So no one went and looked for those cops that he ate?

Honestly this is the most boring horror flick I have seen for a while.  Nothing happens in it and it is 83 minutes long.  I mean the end changes a bit but overall it is just boring.  Over on IMDB it has a 4.7/10 with 2,217 votes.  I think that is a little high, I think I'd go with a 3/10.  

I will say the gross eating sounds was a little much for me.  There was also a little too much when it came to filler for me.  The Birdemic like shots of her driving around and just her sitting there listening to him feed.  

Overall I would NOT suggest this flick to sit through.  There is not enough good and it is not campy enough to enjoy for that.  It is just plain boring and a waste of time in my humble opinion.

Until next time...remember to dodge the black sludge that comes out of a zombies mouth!

Movie Review: The Rezort

Looks like Dead Island to me

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, whenever it is that you have come across yet another fat mans movie review.  Today I'm checking out the flick The Rezort.  It stars Dougray Scott, Jessica De Gouw and Martin McCann.  "The ReZort, a safari park, offers paying guests the opportunity to kill as many zombies as they please following an outbreak."  Sounds like Dead Island meets a safari to me.  Not sure what I think of this but lets go check out...The Rezort!

• Sadly humanity would keep the virus the going instead of wiping it out
• I also seeing someone make a "resort" out of something like this
• How do people NOT see the issue with what this place represents and whatnot
• Yeah those kids will die first, probably with their headphones on
• Is it wrong that I want these fools on this island to die?
• So in the world of "The Rezort" was there not Jurassic Park the movie or book?  Because this is EXACTLY what happened to them.  
• I feel like I'm watching Jurassic World but with Zombies, right down to the guys in the computer control room
• And they don't have redundant systems to the redundant systems?  This is why they need me to think for them...and tell them NOT to do this stupid thing to being with
• Wait...they aren't even free range zombies?
• Oh, there are some free rangers
• Nice down the scope shot
• I wonder if that would be therapeutic after a zombie war
• The one kid has a flag painted on his head?  I would shot him
• They camp out in the wilderness...with the zombies?  Yeah brilliant!
• So...to hit on this girl....they are going to talk about winning a video game.  Yeah the ladies usually jump at the one boys.  Don't forget to mention Dungeons and Dragons
• So where is Nedry?  

• Then there is running and screaming...yep Jurassic Park
• How did they get in the control room?  Did no one think to lock the doors manually?
• So the person who hacked the place did it and stayed on the island?  That doesn't make sense...does it?
• Did he just quote The Lion King?
• Get in the car girls, not the cloth tents
• Not on...in boys and girls, your shooting is going to bring more
• 1 gamer down...but no headphones I was wrong
• I will say this movie is moving quickly which is a good sign
• Ah they sacrificed her, nice
• For a whole island of dead heads there aren't many around 
• I kind of like the sound effects of the dead in this flick
• Why not get to the roofs?  That'd be my plan...and they just pasted a ladder
• One shot that lock huh?
• They are going to get to the boat and it will be the boat from izombie...ie full of zombies
• They were in the air ducts?
• Yeah just leave that door open...
• Wait...he is leaving his girlfriend/wife?  Why not help latch the door then all climb up
• He got what he deserved didn't he
• I have to say this is better than I expected
• I believe it is rule number one...cardio
• Wait...how?

Well I liked that much better than I thought I would and better then those on IMDB.  As of 9/9/17, when I watched this flick, it has a 5.3/10.  I think it is a better flick then that, I give it a 6/10.

I wanted to give it a better score but the last two or three minutes really hurt the flick.  The ending wasn't what was needed.  Heck it wasn't the last two or three minutes it was the last 30 seconds honestly.  Leave it with the speech from the main chick Melanie and that is it.  However they threw in the scene with the dead coming out of the sea and that hurt it.  I realize it was to tease a second flick or to show it didn't end all happy (which normally I'd be all for) but it leaves the flick hanging in a sense and I NEVER like that.  I want a beginning, middle and end in to my stories and this didn't give it to me.

Overall if you like zombie flicks, which I do, this is worth watching.  I feel like a few plot holes hurt it a bit but there a lot...A LOT...worse zombie flicks out there.  

So until next time...abyssinia!

Movie Review: Burying the Ex

This time I am watching the flick Burying the Ex from 2014.  It stars Anton Yelchin, Ashley Greene and Alexandra Daddario, three actors I have not seen in anything off the top of my head.  "A guy's regrets over moving in with his girlfriend are compounded when she dies and comes back as a zombie."  As of 7/31 it has a 5.3 rating on IMDB.  

• Uggg, Man ass in the first 3 minutes
• Wow...this script and acting isn't real great.  Why do I watch this stuff?
• I honestly think I'd slap this girl, even if she is good looking.  I hate hippies!
• Wait....this guy is the new Chekov?  This doesn't make me want to watch the flicks 
• Wow Alexandra Daddario has amazing eyes!
• I assume this hippie chick dies....but not soon enough....seriously even I want to kill her
• Wow Max looks like a mix between Elijah Wood and Ethan Hawke.  Woods creepy hobbit eyes and Hawke's white trash goatee
• The is the oddest choice of music for this scene
• Wow Travis has worse tact then I do about things!
• How old is Yelchin?  His hair line is awful for a youngster
• Have I mentioned that Daddario has amazing eyes?
• What the fuck is a malted?
• I just looked it up and Daddario is three years younger then Yelchin yet he looks ten years older.  Some people do not age well.
• That is one clean looking zombie
• Wow....this zombie is quite different then others....
• Daddario has an amazing smile as well
• Okay that was gross!
• This bartender looks like a cheap version of Chris Jericho
• OH MY GOD!  THE ZOMBIE JUST SAID SHE COULDN'T FEEL HER FACE!  I SAY THAT WHEN I'M DRUNK TOO!!
• Is coming back from the dead as a zombie romantic or way too clingy?  I'm...I'm asking for a friend
• I think I've become obsessed with hair in movies, I can't stop looking at his hair
• The contacts are a nice touch
• Oh nice!  The hair was a nice touch too!
• Somewhere Joey Styles is screaming CAT FIGHT CAT FIGHT!
• Uggg, the sound track is god awful
• I think it is cold in the ice cream shoppe

Well...that was different.  I really don't know what to say about the flick.  It was average.  Nothing special but nothing horrible.  Average much like IMDB rating.  Aside from the early bad acting I have nothing to say about the film.  Probably the worst movie review ever!  I give it a 5/10.  Until next time...Abyssinia

Dead Island Review

Click here to buy me at Amazon.com

A few weeks ago I bought this at Gamestop while hanging out with a few friends.  I knew of the game from when it came out but just never got around to picking it up.  While it looked cool I wasn't sure about it and didn't want to blow 60 bucks on a crappy game.  I also had a coupon that was about to expire so it made it less than 20 dollars so why not.

Let me say this game is pretty darn good.  Let me start with the bad first:

• The voice acting.  Why was this bad?  There wasn't enough of it!  During the game it is basically oneliners.  The cut scenes are much better but the voice acting of the main characters needed more!
• Like all zombie games they have "special" zombies and that is okay.  However they are all over in this game and they come back after you leave the room/area
• The map.  Like most games this has a map on your screen and will direct you to where you need to go.  However this game has one of the worst maps ever!  It won't give directions as much as a straight route even if it isn't possible.  Had me confused at one point really bad.
• Storyline.  While I liked the story line it seemed to be slightly off.  It was like they wrote the storyline and made the game and then realized it wasn't long enough and they tacked on more.

The Good:

• The voice acting.  During the cut scenes and the non-main characters are well done
• The weapons.  The weapons are very cool and like Dead Rising 2 you can modify your weapons with the junk you pick up.  Wrapping Barbed Wire around a Cudgel or making a machette electrified adds to the game.
• Weapons break.  This could go into either category depending on what you like.  I like that you have to repair the weapons as you go

Overall I enjoyed it.  The fact that you can decapitate zombies or smash their heads in with stomps added to the game.  With it being on Amazon for around 25 dollars, click the image above to pick it up, it is worth it.  

There is also an online component to the game, but I haven't tried that.  Without Xbox Gold I can't play it.  

Overall a solid 4 out of 5 for me.  I'd say pick it up if you want a good game to kill time with and kill some zombies.  Also there is a second one set to come up next year.