Bottom 100: #61: Girl in Gold Boots

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you have come across this post.  I'm back with another Bottom 100 movie review.  This time I am checking out the flick Girl in Gold Boots.  As of 4/29 it is sitting at #61 of the bottom 100.  It stars Jody Daniels, Leslie McRay and Tom Pace.  "A young woman leaves her job as a waitress and travels to Los Angeles, where she strives to become the top star in the glamorous world of go-go dancing."  How a plot like that ends up in the bottom 100 is beyond me!  Enough waiting though, I'm dying to know if she becomes that top star in the world of go-go dancing!!

• This is glamorous?
• I wonder if this was the Showgirls of the late 60's, the plot seems similar
• Was that cook drunk?
• You can tell it is the 60's, they loved leather jackets back then
• Good grief this dialog in painful!
• 10 Hershey bars for a dollar!  AWESOME!
• Yep he is drunk
• Isn't that the same place they were just at?
• Oh man those guys mean business, they don't have sleeves!
• I love these older flicks and their music
• Yes a car/motorcycle chase!
• Did you think she was going to reach over and turn the car off?
• Those are the weakest sounding motorcycles I've ever heard!
• Ah yes, gun violence and leather jackets, the natural aphrodisiac
• This could turn into a very different flick!
• This flick is actually kind of boring
• Wait...I think we saw this scene already!
• That isn't possible...how could a girl have a brother!  That is the look on that guys face.  Why so shocked?
• She changed quickly
• Man Leo is a tough guy!
• Did I mention this flick is boring?
• A hold up 20 miles away was front page news in LA?  Much different world back in 68 I guess
• I guess dancing never changes, it always looks like people are having seizures
• I guess every guy but Critter in this flick is a disgusting pig, nice to see well rounded characters!
• Shouldn't she be weirded out that the owner just walked in with her in her bra and panties?
• Is that one of those marijuana cigarettes I've heard so much about?
• Seriously was there a soundtrack for all TV and film back in the 60's?
• Wait...she loves Critter?
• Ah a draft dodger, horrible disgusting person
• Critter doesn't have a bad voice if it is his
• The actor playing Leo has the same voice almost all the time
• That seems foolish, to just beat the guy in his cell.  Wait till you're outside and then put him in the dumpster!
• That is the end of Joanie I think!
• Nope just having a fit I guess
• Best fight face ever on Buz!

• Ahhhh, they got married and he isn't going to be a draft dodger, how nice

Well that wasn't as bad as it could have been.  While IMDB has it as a 2.2 I don't think it is that bad. I am more a 4/10.  While it was mostly a boring flick and had some pointless points it wasn't horrible. Should not be in the bottom 100.  Does it hold up?  Of course not but it isn't horrible considering it was in 68.  I don't have much else to say about it.  

If you don't mind older flicks that feel like a TV cop show from the era it is worth checking it out!

Movie Review: Alien: Covenant

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you have found this entry.  I am back, a day later than I wanted to be, to give you my thoughts on the new Alien Convent flick.  Lets start with the UGLY

THE UGLY

• Some of the acting was just not good.  Billy Crudup and Demián Bichir are the two that stood out for me.  I thought both performances left a lot of things to be desired.  Crudup seemed to be phoning in his performance and I just didn't like Demian at all.  

THE BAD

• The story is getting a little old at times.  The whole alien attacks and people freak out thing is getting slightly old.  While they do a good job of keeping the story more than just alien attacking, which is a good thing, I am starting to get tired of the basic concept.  Maybe it is because I watched them all recently, but it is slightly old
• This came up in AVPR storyline a bit but the timeline/universe is kind of muddy remember what has happened, what hasn't happened and what didn't actually happen.  
• It felt a little bit like a middle flick

THE GOOD

• I never thought I'd say this but the acting of Danny McBride was very well done.  While I usually find him overbearing he was amazing!
• Katherine Waterston and Michael Fessbender were fantastic as well.  Michael was easy the star of the flick even if he wasn't suppose to.
• While I know I mentioned the story as a bad, the actual storyline of the flick was fantastic and actually answered some questions I've had since the first flick.  So that was nice.  While it is a little convoluted the story structure was well done 

Overall a very good film that I'd give a 7/10 which is what IMDB has right now.  It felt slightly drawn out at times and I'd like to see it cut maybe 10-15 minutes out but nothing that made me want to pull my hair out.  A good flick and probably worth paying the theater prices but not needed.  I don't think you would lose anything by waiting assuming you aren't a 13 inch TV.

Until next time...ABYSSINIA!

Movie Review: Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening....whenever it is you are reading this.  I am back with another movie review, this time I am reviewing Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem.  This is as I am watching all the Alien flicks (sorry no Prometheus blog, was paying attention to the flick).  As of 5/20 it has a 4.7 on IMDB.  It stars Reiko Aylesworth, Steven Pasquale, Shareeka Epps.  "Warring alien and predator races descend on a rural US town, where unsuspecting residents must band together for any chance of survival."  

• YOUNG SHAWN SPENCER!
• You know it is going to be a cool movie when an arm melts off within minutes
• Now we REALLY know why Ricky Cricket is so fucked up
• Aliens must incubate quicker on earth than space
• We never really find out why the "Aliens" like to kill so much do we?  
• Could it be they were create by the "Predators"?
• For some reason I like the ritual of taking off the helmet/mask thing in the predator flicks
• Weird that the predator killed that cop, I guess you could say he was a threat...that is a thing isn't it?  I feel like we learned that in Predator flicks
• I didn't want to rewatch AVP but now I feel like I have to to get the full Alien experience prior to the new flick which I"ll be seeing in a few days (from 5/20, when I'm watching this)
• Why do the xenos like to get all up in peoples grill and "smell" them?  Doesn't they understand personal space?
• This flick really is what fans wanted for the clash of monsters, not the first AVP
• Wait....so this chick has always wanted this guy?  Or does she just REALLY like pizza guys?
• Aliens swimming is one awesome visual!
• Never look outside the window when it is dark, there might be something out there.  Movies have taught me that
• The blue goo is cool
• Unrated scene, very cool!
• Good sheriff or BEST sheriff for constantly listening and hanging out with convict
• The National Guard actually doesn't do horrible here, better than the space marines years later
• The hybrid is both cool and stupid at the same time
• Wait...the hybrid is both a face hugger and predator and an alien?  Damn!
• Why didn't the face hugger predator alien face tongue fuck the doctor?
• How do they not realize that it is a trap to go to the center of town?  Even I know that doesn't make sense
• Rickey Cricket i smart, go with the tank!
• GET TO THE CHOPPER!
• It is weird when the aliens look so good and randomly one of the shots are horrible
• The music isn't bad in flick most of the time
• This isn't a bad flick at all really, I think it gets a poor rep from the first flick
• I say that then the fight scene at the end is almost too dark to see anything, which is is sad
• Taking the mask off for a Predator is like Hogan doing the "you" finger or Jerry Lawler dropping the strap right?
• If only that chopper was like a 50's fridge, they'd have no problem after a nuke!
• Wait...they trust the military isn't going to kill them like they did the entire town?  
• And why wouldn't the military do that?  Can't have them telling everyone...or are they going to be looked after by top men
• I said TOP MEN

I forgot how much fun that flick is.  Overall I would give the flick a 6/10.    While there isn't a lot of character development in the flick there does not have to be.  This isn't a flick about characters, it is a flick about two sci-fi/horror icons clashing.  It gives the fans what they were looking for, although only briefly.

I should point out that I'm not a fan boy of either of these franchises so that might make a difference. I enjoy them both and have now watched every flick in both.  I enjoy them for what they are but neither are on my end all be all of movies....

As I type this I have the first flick on while I download the new Doctor Who and I forgot how bad THIS flick was (yes there will most likely be a blog).

As I was saying I enjoy the franchises bu they aren't my end all be all.  

The big question is how does these flicks fit into the franchises...if at all.  I have a feeling if Ridley Scott answered the question it would be not at all.  I just wondering.

Anyway if you are looking for a fun action flick this isn't a bad choice.  If I haven't posted it already (time wimey) expect a Alien: Covent review soon.  Until next time...Abyssinia

Movie Review: Office Christmas Party

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you have found this entry.  Today I'm checking out Office Christmas Party.  It stars Jason Bateman, Olivia Munn and T.J. Miller.  "When his uptight CEO sister threatens to shut down his branch, the branch manager throws an epic Christmas party in order to land a big client and save the day, but the party gets way out of hand..." As of 4/15 it has a 5.9 on IMDB.

• Well this music doesn't make me think it is going to be a good flick!
• Uggg, TJ Miller is in this flick
• I think I worked with that grumpy Santa!
• Okay that soda thing made me laugh
• Is Olivia Munn his ex?  Nope
• Did he just say he was running a train on the league?  Does not mean what he thinks it means
• I really wish someone would kick TJ Miller in the crotch
• But the Fast and Furious talk did make me chuckle
• What the fuck is Miller wearing?
• Seriously how does he keep getting movie roles?
• Was she wrapping a combat knife?
• They did a good job of making this like a true corporate environment
• The Carol and Clay cartoon was AWESOME!
• Very good example of corporate environment
• I will say I really enjoy Kate McKinnon in almost everything she is in
• I should get a Santa suit
• She has a LOT of teeth
• Yeah fuck you Butler!
• What the fuck does dick tap mean?
• Is he going to suck eggnog out of that ice cock?  Weird
• Good grief these are all horrible people, it is going to be amazing
• I think I'd walk out of a party if this happened
• A everyone is going to get wasted!
• Yeah it is going to be locked dumbasses!
• I like Courtney B. Vance in pretty much everything he does
• I always wanted to say fuck you to a little girl!
• Did everyone get dosed with coke?
• And they're printing out cocks!
• And I think Walter is about to die
• This pimp chick is pretty smart and a conartist, awesome
• Shouldn't they have time traveled?  They hit 88
• That Kia doesn't have airbags?
• Can you still use a dialup modem?  Are those even still up and running?
• Female John Candy was pretty funny

Well that wasn't horrible but I see why it is only a 6 on IMDB.  That is what I'm going to give it as well.  6/10.  Nothing great but a few laugh out loud moments, and sadly it was with TJ on the screen. I hate him still though.

If you can see this for free and you're okay with some raunchy scenes and what not it isn't the worst thing to watch.  There are better comedies out there but a lot worse!

Movie Review: Bottom 100: Kyaa Kool Hain Hum 3

Today I'm checking out #56 on the Bottom 100.  Kyaa Kool Hain Hum 3.  It stars Tusshar Kapoor, Aftab Shivdasani and Krishna Abhishek.  "A porn actor uses his fellow adult movie stars in creating a fake traditional family, in order to impress his girlfriend's conservative father."  Yeah...this sounds like a winner for sure!

• Uggg, subtitles, I need to learn languages and shit
• Wait...is this animated?
• I feel like I'm going to be watching that bad Adam Sandler hairdresser flick
• Anytime a song says We are so cool that obviously means they aren't
• I'm not sure if this is going to be safe for work....
• The sheets and pillow cases are American flags?  Weird
• Good grief this is already bad
• Did that lady just drink a random mans coffee?  
• I have to watch 2 hours of this?  I won't survive
• Seeing red makes him crosseyed?  Why?
• What is with all the random sound effects?
• He googled "Hot videos"...really?
• This is a hot video?
• What in the hell is going on?  This is probably normal for a Hindu flick but I'm confused, why is there suddenly a music video in the middle of this movie
• Tusshar Kapoor eats more scenery than Jim Carrey!  However I guess he went to the University of Michigan so he can't be all bad!
• Aftab Shivdasani looks like the Hindi version of Colt Cabana...extra points for anyone who gets that reference!
• Right onto the laps...yep....this is like the Hindi version of all the spoof movies that are just horrible sex jokes written for 12 year olds, and not the funny ones
• Wait...he has random guys in short shorts and suspenders dancing in his front lawn...that is...odd
• I still have 90 minutes?
• Good grief more 12 year old humor
• This is just painful; but at least I am getting another music video
• I guess my dream of being the biggest star in Hindu movies won't happen as I can't dance and that apperas to be required
• I think his dream girl ages a few years every time he sees her
• So this guy looks like he is jerking off in public, spills a coffee on a lady, causes a major accident and face plants into a girl breast and this girl is just like yes lets go out on a date?  I'll never understand movie logic!
• They are nervous now?  Is this their first time...even though we've seen multiple scenes already?  I'm so confused by this flick
• That horse just farted into a candle...yep it is officially like a Wayans brother flicks
• And we're officially in Threes Company territory, where is Mr. Furley?

• What in the hell is going on?
• This is long and painful
• I just realized that Mickey looks like a fat Michael Pena
• Music Video #3 boys and girls!
• She just sang I'm like Lady Gaga....no I won't make my usual Lady Gaga comment....
• Now they're going to do a movie shoot with all this going on?  OF COURSE!  Why not complicate this flick even more
• Ah yes the Whose Harry Crumb footsy gimmick, very nice
• Wow this flick actually made me chuckle
• More sex pill jokes?  Really?
• This is the longest 2 hours of my life!
• He rides a jet ski in a suit?
• That is a dude!  Yep...its his friend and future son in law....how could this get more complicated?
• And of course he looks just like his dead future mother in law
• They sell porn in the mall?  Very nice
• Yeah that won't look weird, buying ALL the porn in the place
• He has a 5 o'clock shadow and yet getting hit on!
• and it goes on the store tv's for sure
• Nope I was wrong...nope...I was right!  
• Maybe it is funny in the Natural language
• This beach has quicksand?  
• Yes, the fastest way to travel in the world....Hot Air Balloon!  BRILLIANT!

Well that is two hours I won't get back.  It was just horrible and I laughed once.  My only guess is that it losses something while not understanding the language.  

The idea wasn't funny.  The acting was over the top.  I found nothing good about this film.  I hate reviewing foreign films for this reason but ....

Okay let me rant for a second.  I just watched a foreign porn-com (their word not mine) and what does Netflix put up for me to watch next?  Dear White People...yep I see how these two are related, they are both "comedies" so why not right? 

Anyway, overall I give this a 1 because I was bored and it was painful.  Avoid this...but if you want to check it out it is on Netflix right now!

Movie Review: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening....whenever it is that you have found this entry!  Today I'm going to talk about the Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.

This was flick was very fun.  If you enjoyed the first flick then you will really enjoy this flick.

GOOD:

The good of the flick was the acting, the writing...hell almost everything!  I think this is one of my favorite flicks this year.  Batista really stole this flick in my opinion.  While he was good in the first flick his comedic timing really shown through.  The Drax character could easily be one dimensional but they really made him much more of a character in this flick and I enjoyed that.

Yondu and Rocket also were fantastic.  This time around Rocket looked amazing and the interactions between Rocket, Groot and the live action cast was great.

They also had two fantastic scenes with Rocket and then Rocket and Yondu together.  Easily my favorite scenes in the movie.

The comedy was well done and timed correctly with the more dramatic scenes.  Marvel and Gunn, the director, did an excellent job in pacing this flick.

Rooker, Yondu, really showed that he isn't just a bit player in my opinion.  He does everything very well and he is easily some of of my favorite characters in Yondu and Merle.

Oh yeah and Kurt Russell...need I say more?

BAD:

I don't have a lot to say in the bad section.  I guess one of my complaints is that Starlord was mostly a more dramatic character and I didn't like that.  I realize that it is an ensemble cast and that is why but I didn't like it as much.  He was really good in the role but I liked his character in the first one.

There were also a few random moments where characters said something that didn't make any sense aside to move the story along.

This is where I would usually put the UGLY section but there wasn't anything I could put in there.

Overall I'd give this a 8/10.  It is worth going to see and I regret not seeing it 3D Imax.  If you enjoy Marvel and the first flick go see it...NOW!