Good morning, good afternoon, good evening....whenever it is that you have come across yet another of my Bottom 100 movie reviews. Today I'm checking out Dracula 3000. It stars Casper Van Dien, Erika Eleniak and Coolio. "Count Dracula terrorizes the crew of a spaceship." With this cover and that description what can possibly go wrong....
- With a cast picture like this I wonder what I did in a past life to suffer through this pics
- Wait...Tiny "Zeus" Leiter is in this? Oh shit that is him in the picture! This just got a little brighter
- Udo Kier is always weird in creepy in his flicks
- Casper Van Dien doing a voiceover is painful!
- Wait...Coolios character is a drug user....type casting perhaps?
- The dialog is awesome...ingly bad
- Why would they send just one person and and not Zeus/Humvee, seems like a stupid choice
- POV shots should be eliminated 99% of the time they're used
- Yep type casting for Coolio/187
- Why did you need the "torch" shined over there? There is more light there then where you were standing with said torch!
- No one is going to bite you...really?
- What a weird closeup
- Good god this dialog is painful
- PAINFUL!
- More weird closeups
- That is why you don't have everyone from your ship go onto the new ship....Captain
- WHY WOULD YOU OPEN THE COFFINS?!?!
- Of course now there is some blood to wake the dead...of course
- Sweet Jesus...I thought Religion was outlawed
- Why does the future always have so much leather in it?
- Is this horror or comedy or just bad?
- Ejaculate all over your bazongas? Who wrote this an 11 year old?
- She was strangely calm
- The professor is quite British
- This is the first good choice that Captain made
- Strange when Zeus is the most intelligent member of the crew!
- Make it so? Picard is going to sue!
- Of course he is Van Helsing!
- Damn it Zeus!
- Why is he telling them to stop wasting bullets? Who cares
- Strangely I like Coolio/187
- NWC? Hard drive? Good grief
- What is up with the weird shot of Zeus
- I thought Orlock wanted everyone dead....
- Well that was unexpected
- Did Zeus voice change?
- Good grief who wrote this...they should be ashamed of themselves
- Also how did any of these actors agree to this?
Well that was...well it was a flick. I give it a 2/10 which is what it has on IMDB as 6/2.
Tiny and Coolio actually were pretty entertaining in the flick but beyond that...it was just sad. It wasn't even bad in a bad sort of way. It was just there you know.
Okay that isn't true, the dialog was just horrible. It was like dialog I would write, which isn't a good thing for a major motion picture.
Overall I can't say to watch this unless you want to see a decent performance from Tiny and Coolio.
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| How I feel after this flick |
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