Minions: A Movie Review

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening....whenever it is you happen to be reading this!  I'm back and this time I'm watching a flick that is not a bottom 100 movie.  Nope.  It actually has a 6.5 as of 4/29/16 on IMDB.  "Minions Stuart, Kevin and Bob are recruited by Scarlet Overkill, a super-villain who, alongside her inventor husband Herb, hatches a plot to take over the world."  It stars the classic voice actors Sandra Bullock, Jon Hamm and Michael Keaton...yep.  Anyway lets get to it!

• Why wouldn't the T-Rex eat them?
• They just gave up to play in the snow?  That is weird
• Is Bob a kid?  Do the Minions age?
• Villain-Con?  Where do I sign up!
• I really don't care for the art style of these flicks
• Yetis suddenly showed up?  AWESOME!
• 68 was more technically advanced than I thought it would have been
• Where did that jet engine come from and go into?  Giggity!

• Are they minions or henchmen?
• TUBA SOLO!  He stole that joke from me damn it
• Banana?
• I don't think this is the usual 3 Little Pigs story
• I bet that lady kept the whole bar of gold
• Lots of old school cartoon jokes in this flick
• Do you think the Oompa Loompa are related to the Minions?
• Decent sound track in this flick
• King Bob...not as good as King Gene...just saying

• CORGI!!

• Get what you deserve?  That is a major threat!
• Hey Hey We're the Monkeys?
• Hanging isn't torture, it is basically killing isn't it?
• Who didn't see the Beatles there yet it worked
• That is one fucked up pigeon!
• Okay running from the bee is pretty good
• Wow Sandra Bullock really phoned some of these lines in
• BOB!  I THINK THAT FISH GUY JUST KILLED BOB!
• Well I didn't see that coming....well I did see it one other time....with Animal
• I feel like the Doctor Who music should be playing as Kevin tries to save the day
• Does her dress/rocket keep getting bigger
• MORE CORGI!

Okay that was an okay flick.  I gave it a 6/10.  Slightly more than average.  There wasn't anything that jumped out as amazing but nothing that make me want to stab myself in the eye either.  

Okay that isn't true.  The performances of Hamm and Bullock left something to be desired at times. You can tell it isn't something they do all the time.  Of course it could be the animation didn't fit the acting but I don't think so.

Overall a decent flick.  Nothing special but nothing over the top bad either.  It was average and sometimes average is good.  

Pledge This!: A Movie Review

Hello again.  This is to remind you folks what I do for you my faithful readers!  I am watching #6 on the Bottom 100 as of March 15th, 2016.  That is right.  I am watching Pledge This!  It stars  Paris Hilton, Simon Rex and Paula Garcés.  "At South Beach University, a beautiful sorority president takes in a group of unconventional freshman girls seeking acceptance into her house."  I wonder if this will live up to #6.

• Oh my god, it starts with the worst voice over ever and some of the worst "freshmen" guys ever!  But one of them is married to Christina Hendricks so what do I know

• Good grief I'm three minutes in and it is awful
• Who thought putting Paris Hilton in a film was a good idea
• Good god this is bad!
• How does this have a 1.9 right now on IMDB?  If I could give it a 0
• Wow...remember when National Lampoon meant something good
• This...this is awful and I have no idea how this was made.  Makes Birdemic look like a classic
• Those girls are laughing while covered in shit?
• The worst voice overs EVER!  Paris Hilton is horrible
• Oh good god tell me this isn't going to happen...yep the dog...my god
• Pointer in my purple star fish?
• Feet are SO gross
• This guy is still a working actor?  HOW? HOW ARE ANY OF THESE PEOPLE?

• I heard that some of the actors in Troll 2 don't put the flick on their resume.  You couldn't pay me to claim I was in this flick!
• I've said I'd do almost anything for money but I wouldn't be in this movie.  
• Is he suppose to be the same person?  I'm so fucking confused
• Every time a new actor shows up they are worst then the last!
• Sofía Vergara must leave this off her resume.  I'm guessing she is more likely to leave Soul Plane on it

I shall start off with my rating.  1/10.  If I could give it a lower rating on IMDB I would but good god it as awful!  It might be the worst thing I've ever seen and I watched Special Dead.

I can't say anything good about this flick.  Not a damn thing.  The director, William Heins, should be ashamed.  If I had directed this film I wouldn't have allowed it to be distributed with my name on it. Honestly I'd rather watch Yeti: A Love Story on a 24 hour loop then this.

The editing was so bad there was basically a commercial break between a couple of scenes!  The acting was horrible.  The script made the acting worse.  

This is officially the worst thing I've ever seen.  Everyone involved should be ashamed.  I am ashamed for them and I'd gladly be in "bad" movies but this was a bad movie.  If you don't know the difference get away from my blog!

Son of the Mask; A movie review

 

My quest of the bottom 100 movies of all time on IMDB continues as this morning I sat down to watch Son of the Mask.  As of 4/24/16 it has a 2.2 on IMDB.  "Tim Avery, an aspiring cartoonist, finds himself in a predicament when his dog stumbles upon the mask of Loki. Then after conceiving an infant son "born of the mask", he discovers just how looney child raising can be."  I am sure this is as bad as it sounds but let delve into this...

• Ben Stein almost showed emotion in that scene
• So if you're playing Loki you have to be over the top hookie?  See what I did there?
• What am I doing watching this before 8am on a Sunday?
• Fringe City?  Edge City?  
• Is it bad to admit that I like Jamie Kennedy, but this film might change that!
• Wait Mario Mario is Odin?

• The casting in this flick is quite weird
• Good grief is this going to be just one bad pun after another
• Why is his voice different?
• How bad is a movie role that Jack Black turned it down?
• I do like this fact:  "When asked why he agreed to do the film, Jamie Kennedy's response was: "I'll give you 2.5 million reasons.""
• Alan Cumming choice of roles rivals Tim Curry
• This isn't "bad" as much as it is not good
• Why not hire a babysitter?  Oh right...no movie
• Oh no....the dog is going to put the mask on?  Really?
• Wow this dancing baby animation is horrible even by 2005 standards...wait this was made in 2005?
• Wow the Michigan J. Frog gimmick?  Really?  They should be ashamed!
• This dog is creepy as fuck

• Its like they took all the best Looney Toons bits and just ruined them
• Well that was just wrong!  Urine is not funny boys and girls
• Why does Cummings sound like Downey Jr. in this flick?
• Also why does Loki always look like an extra from the Matrix films?  Here and in the Avenger flicks too

• Of course he gets bit in the dick...of course
• Its like they took all those horrible live action Dr. Seuss flicks, threw in the bad live action Looney Toons and added some over the top acting and made this film
• Oh great a nice happy family ending
• And it ends with the WORST animation of all time, even worse then Cartoon Network Originals!

Well that was bad.  Not horrible but bad.  I give it a slightly better then IMDB 3/10.  Let me give you the positives of the film.  The acting was surprisingly not bad when they were given the chance to be actors and not these over the top cartoon characters.  Jamie, Alan and Traylor all did decent jobs with what they were given.  

However that is the extent of it.  The writing was down right awful most of the time.  You had horrible jokes and puns and I have no idea who they were trying to get to watch this flick.  Was it for kids with all the bad jokes, farts and animation?  Was it for fans of the first film?  I don't know because I can't imagine ANYONE really liking the film.  Looking at his credits it is mostly animation which is VERY different then a feature length film.  The story is a typical dad doesn't want a kid but gets one and is scared.  Mom leaves.  Hilarity ensues.  Throw in a norse god and you have an episode of King of Queens!  

Now onto the special effects.  The original film was out 11 years before this and effects wise nothing changed.  I actually think the original film looked better!  Look at this picture:

Does it scream 2005 to you?  More like 1995 right!  It is horrible and the dog above...I'll have nightmares...and even the Crocodile Hunter movie didn't do that...yes I saw it...don't judge me.

So overall this was bad.  It took an okay movie and made it worse which is hard to do.  Not a complete train wreck but pretty close.  If you're really hard up for "entertainment" check it out.  

My quest continues as that is 19 out of the current 100.  I should remind you that it will only be the English spoken films I'm watching as I don't feel I can judge a Bollywood film.  I have a review for the Paris Hilton classic Pledge This written up from weeks ago so expect that in the next few days as well.  Until next time, remember I suffer through these films because I hate myself!

Inside Out: The Movie Review

I'm back boys and girls and this time I'm checking out the Pixar flick Inside Out.  I've been wanting to check this flick out for a while and its that time finally.  It stars Amy Poehler, Bill Hader and Lewis Black.  "After young Riley is uprooted from her Midwest life and moved to San Francisco, her emotions - Joy, Fear, Anger, Disgust and Sadness - conflict on how best to navigate a new city, house, and school."

• Interesting that Joy is the one in control for this young girl.  I think everyone knows who is in change for my mind...yep disgust....okay anger...its anger...ARE YOU HAPPY MAKING ME ADMIT IT!
• Wait, they didn't know about the move?  Did the parents spring it on Reilly all at once?
• San Fransisco did ruin pizza!
• I like the idea of the personalities each being a person in my head.  Explains the voices...
• Well that was unexpected.  I wonder how often my emotions argue with themselves.  
• For the record, I'm often happy when I'm angry
• Thus far not a lot of random comments to this film.  Sorry folks.
• The loss of imagination is horrible
•  Clowns are so creepy
• Well this explains my lack of joy
• Wow San Fran is REALLY foggy
• Pixar just sits around trying to find ways to make people sad now don't they?  I blame UP
• Oh Bing-Bong

In what is unusual for me is I am not sure what to say.  A lot of this hits a little close to home, as it does with everyone, which just shows how great of story tellers Pixar and the team are.  Short but sweet if you didn't see this flick go out of your way to go see it.  That is all