The return of the Tool List

I haven't done this in a while but today I bring back what I think I called the Tool List.  Go back and find out I'm too lazy to today!

Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis you're the newest member of my Tool List you....well tool.  This woman has been told several times to issue marriage licenses and refused to do it.  Courts have ordered her to do her JOB, the JOB she was hired for yet she still doesn't.  She is in contempt of the courts yet she still walks free.

My opinion she should be in jail for contempt and fined ten times the amount it costs the tax payer everyday she is in there. Enough of this bullshit discrimination. It wouldn't fly it someone was doing it against Christians or African Americans. She should be ashamed of herself and all Christians should be ashamed of her and her bigotry.

She had a "rally" over the weekend where thousands of people supported her.  I assume they had their white sheets in the laundry that day!  I look at people like this woman and her supporters as nothing more then bigots.  I have no use for ANYONE who denies people their legal rights or discriminates against people.

So Kim Davis, welcome to your place on the Tool List!

Fear the Walking Dead or just fear this show?

After work took up some time and then internet/cable issues I'm back with another fresh review.  This time I look at the new AMC show Fear the Walking Dead.  As much as I love the Walking Dead this better be good!  Oh and obviously there will be spoilers so avoid if you haven't watched yet!!

• That is a dude?  What is he wearing?
• Is it the remains of a puffy shirt?
• Did he steal Gloria's shirt?  Is she running around topless?
• Ah yes the flicking lights of a zombie attack!  Sure sign there be dead inside!
• PULL UP YOUR PANTS if you're going to fight zombies today
• How did that car not see him?  He was in the road for like 30 seconds before he was hit...wait...the driver was probably distracted by his shirt!
• Is that the daughter from Humans?  Nope just looks like her.
• Wow, Madison is quite the mom!
• Nice, metal detectors in the hall
• The principle looks a little like President Obama
• A steak knife?  That'll come back into play I bet
• Smart kid trying to protect himself
• So the plague is known but not wide spread?
• So the plague is known but they don't know it is people eating people?
• Like any good stepdad/live in boyfriend he goes to the known drug den where some people were eating people?  WOW!  Stepdad of the year for sure this one
• Nick's roommate worries me, is he infected?
• No flashing lights so I think stepdad is safe from zombies
• I...I could be wrong however
• Oh I forgot to give the show 10 points for the use of the word viscera.  One of my favorite words!
• Oh he isn't even their stepdad!  What he did makes him even better
• A little slow thus far.  I know it is a first episode but thus far the characters aren't connecting, not like Rick and Morgan did
• With that many kids out the school would be closed wouldn't it?
• Nice fake out
• Stay put?  Yeah right
• Wait....everyone is a carrier of the virus...so that guy is about to rise up!
• Where is Nick's girly shirt?  Did he steal the old mans clothes?
• Yep, those are old man clothes
• They're both going to the drug den?  INSANE!
• Hey pull over if emergency vehicles go by stepdad of the year!
• This has a World War Z feel to it already
• Flu shots?  They've said it several times.  Are they trying to say it is the flu shots that caused this?
• Oh that kid is going to end up a zombie killed with his own knife
• Oh man Cal is going to kill Nick!  Nicky don't trust him
• This Nick kid has worse luck then Rick & Carl combined and that boggles the mind
• Did she get bit?  Did Momma get bit?

Well that was interesting.  It was slow and a nice build up.  Almost too slow.  I find the Nick kid annoying a shit and the mom character as well.  Thus far I am not extremely impressed but I am also comparing it to a show that has 5 years on TV so I'm probably be too hard.  I wont' give it an official rating until the six episodes are over.  Thus far however I am a thumbs in the middle.  Nothing great but nothing horrible.  Hopefully it picks up!

Scream Episode 5 Review

I am back after a week off due to work (unfortunately I don't make any money do my reviews...I should because...well they are pretty awesome if I do say so myself...and I do!).  I'm back to check out Episode 5 of the Scream TV show.

• Lots of kids use cell phones in school nowadays I guess, sadly probably a major problem
• This school has major issues with kiddie porn!
• Removing the sheriff, always a good thing
• Really?  Leaving the open seat for the dead girl?
• This teacher actually looks younger then a few of these students
• Really?  The Scarlet Letter?
• 3 minute sex joke...ha ha ha
• The music in this show is not good
• Its odd that most of the "adults" in this show seem the same age as the "kids"
• Ah yes, the "all male" killer line up
• Ug, the killer mask sucks
• The Hulk does kinda wear bike shorts kiddo
• Hackers using the school home work server?  Brilliant!
• Cell phone videos will be the end of humanity!
• Wait...removing the masks where you just committed the crime?  
• Kiddie porn and adults giving teens booze!  USA! USA! USA!
• This episode seems really long and that is a bad thing
• Yeah Bro!
• Emma is moments from a psychotic breakdown one minute and the next is making out with the new guy to make her old boyfriend jealous whom she hates?
• That was the most threatening permission given ever!
• Am I the only person who doesn't answer unknown callers?  That would have saved Emma a lot of issues
• My child is being harassed by the guy who possibly stalked me at her age and nearly killed her dad.  I know lets go have a booty call and leave her alone at night.  Bad parent or the worst parent?
• Awesome...Jake is brilliant!
• Watching your dad's blackmail video?  Not real smart and kind of dirty
• Well, that wasn't what I expected at all!

Okay that felt like a major step back from the last episode.  Slow with some payoff but they are adding too many characters and plot lines to keep teens interested.  Of course I could be wrong and not giving the youth of the world enough credit.  But the addition of the murder, the sheriffs ex showing up, the gun, the teacher being involved, the weird bloggers history and probably other things things are really tangled up.  I know I'm only half way through the season and this is one of the advantages of a TV show over a movie but more isn't always good.  Just when I thought this show was picking up steam it stumbled.  I hope it doesn't fall completely.  Until next time this is the Fat Bearded man remind everyone to not answer those unknown calls.  It just might be a murder from your parents past...and someone selling you stuff!  Abyssinia!!

Movie Review: Jokesters

Hello again boys and girls!  I am back with another movie review.  This time a friend recommended I check out this flick Jokesters.  My friend knows the director but that won't stop me from honest.  It currently has a 3.5 over on IMDB as of 8/15.  "Four friends prank a Cabin in the Woods nightmare on their friend's honeymoon so well that it actually becomes The Cabin in the Woods horror in real life." It stars Nathan Reid, Gabriel Tigerman and Luis Jose Lopez.  I have no idea what to expect from this flick...all I have to say is getting me to watch this flick better not be a prank!

• Is it wrong that I already want these four guys to die?
• Is that the new Ghostface mask?  I like it better then the one on the Scream TV Series
• That is some foreshadowing I bet
• The audio is a little poor here, but it happens in these POV movies at times
• I hate weddings even in movies
• Nick's "speech" is the reason I don't do speeches at weddings, people don't get my jokes either Nicky boy
• Quite a few jump cuts thus far
• I seriously want to hurt these guys!
• Wait...they know the show but they don't recognize the guys?
• Where is the store owner?  
• I wonder if this is scripted or not
• Are they dead yet?  WHY NOT!  Does half skull face need help?
• Wait...is he going to tape is friend having sexual relations with his new bride?  With friends like this who needs killers...or something like that.
• Wouldn't there be guns in a hunting cabin?
• That roof bit is actually really well shot in that you wouldn't be able to see him up there.  Nice
• This is kind of creepy the way they are spying on their friends wife undressing and what not
• Seriously creepy!
• Boobs do equal ratings typically
• There we go!
• The pacing has gone off the rails here
• Its weird, some of the acting is really well done/realistic but others seems horrible/fake
• The other guys are a little too excited about the apology scene!
• She speaks the truth
• Finally people start logically in a horror movie
• CALLED IT!
• Well...that escalated quickly!

Hmmm, what to say about this film.  Lets start with a rating.  I'll give it a middle ground 5/10.  I'll talk about the good points.  For a POV flick it was really well shot.  The acting, for the most part, was really well done as well.

Onto the bad parts.  The pacing was really bad.  The store scene should have been cut completely, it did nothing to further plot or characters and I fell it was there just to give a brief boob shot.  Also the wedding stuff went a little long at the beginning.  The description of the movie also fails a little.  It isn't Cabin in the Woods as much as it is You're Next or The Strangers...much more like the Strangers.

Then there is the end.  Very abrupt and odd.  I was digging the flick at points but the end was just out of the blue.  I felt like I was suddenly watching a Rampage clone.  Or an M. Night Shyamalan movie with a twist ending that doesn't quite make sense.  I'd have liked to see a slightly better ending or something to go back to and say "of course because of this" that is what makes twists work.  This just felt like they had no ending so psycho dad/son combo works.  

It isn't nearly as bad as the people have said online, I didn't hate it but I didn't love it either.  Slightly better pacing, slightly better ending and I think this could have been something really good.  The fact that they're making a second one worries me a bit.  You could make it non-POV and have Nick hunting people like the dad who was a jerk to him, or the red head (also the news anchor?) and stuff like that in a more typical horror style flick.  Yeah it will end up being a bit Scream like but it could work.  

Check it out if you like POV/Horror/Found footage stuff.  Oh it has a good running time at 80 minutes but a poorly paced 80 minutes.  

There you go folks.  Until next time....don't go into the woods!  As always...Abyssinia!

Movie Review: The Marked One

Hello again boys and girls, I'm back and this time I'm watching the 2014 flick Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones.  "Jesse begins experiencing a number of disturbing and unexplainable things after the death of his neighbor. As he investigates, it isn't long before Jesse finds he's been marked for possession by a malevolent demonic entity, and it's only a matter of time before he is completely under its control..."  Over on IMDB it has a rating of 5 as of 8/14.  I am a big fan of the series thus far, the first flick being one of my favorite horror flicks of all time.  The series has gone down hill a bit with each flick so lets see what this one has for us!  HERE WE GO!!

• My girl Katie better show
• These people are the reason I hate graduations!  Shut up and let the stupid thing get finished
• 2 minutes in and I am going to say that kids hair is awful!
• Shake weight and reading the bible...makes perfect sense to me
• Yeah filming gang bangers usually leads to trouble
• Yep, this is what is wrong with the youth of the world
• Are they getting Granny drunk?  
• I think I need to get me drunk...where is the rum?
• Ah yes, the go pro on a rope trick, I've seen a hundred times
• These kids are flipping weird!
• Oh no, the po-po in the house!
• How much older is Jesse's friend then Jesse?  
• Yep, a good plan made better by our friend Mary Jane!
• Yes touch everything without gloves
• Check the toilet...CHECK THE TOILET!
• Was that a cat or a kid?
• Yep these kids are going to jail
• Time travel?  Awesome!  But to only unholy places?
• Did they break into a church to do a demonic ritual?  I'm confused
• Have these kids never watched a horror movie?  DON'T INVESTIGATE THE SOUND!
• Why use the lantern like Bray Wyatt?  Why not...oh I don't know...TURN ON THE LIGHTS!
• He sleeps with the neon lights on?  Weird...seriously these kids are weird
• Farm? Old Women? 
• Even Simon doesn't like this dumbass kid
• They don't find this stuff weird?
• Where is Jesse's dad?
• Once again, don't go find the noise
• The first 1/3 is slow and annoying because of teenagers but it is picking up a bit now
• I think the kid just shit himself
• Well that was unexpected and escalated rather quickly
• Jacking off to R. Kelly videos?
• Did these kids just walk crash a gangbangers party?  With a video camera?  
• And lets take the hotties to the apartment with sis and grandma
• Is that my girl?  Damn it wasn't
• How did Jesse not hear that shit?  Oh right all the blood was being used for other areas of his body
• Who knew it was so easy to get into a murder victims house
• This flick is a little long in the tooth so to speak
• Really?  Come on.  I know it is horror flick but some logic would be nice
• Well that is gross!  I hate things that have to do with eyes
• Once again....that escalated quickly
• Oh that is not cool!  Going after a persons dog is NOT COOL!
• And there is the creepy kids, always creepy kids
• Wait...is that my Katie's demon?  Sounded sorta like him.  
• Eggs?  Everyone loves Eggs....except Jesse I guess
• I think I saw that is Infamous!
• Never go demon hunting in a shitty car everyone knows that
• AH HELL YEAH!  This is ghost/demon hunting!
• A little less gung-ho then they were
• None of this would be needed if Katie just came and lived with me.  The three of us, her demon as well, would make a happy family.  
• That better not have been my girl Katie damn it!
• Wait...I've seen that door...I think it goes to Narnia
• Unholy place?  This place isn't unholy!  
• Was that my girl?  
• I don't remember that...wait....okay yeah....

Well that was....different.  I will give it a 6/10.  A little long in tooth and could have shaved a little bit off the start of the flick.  I didn't "relate" to these characters as much as I did in the other flicks probably because they were younger.  

The acting was well done I think and filming...well it is a POV movie for most of it.  The scares were routine at this point and nothing new.  The effects were a little more hollywood with the "planking" and the floating dog and what not.  

What I loved about the first flick was that it was done so well.  This ties into the first flick well and I had to go read about the end of the first one again.  I had forgot that Micah is killed off screen THEN thrown at the camera.  Katie Featherston is as amazing looking as ever.  How she hasn't become a bigger star is beyond me.  Not only because I think she is beautiful I think she did a great job in this series and the few episodes of the River she was in.  

Anyway my love for Katie aside this was an okay flick.  Again slightly better pacing and I would have given it a bit rating.  If you enjoy the series it is worth checking out.  Until next time...if anyone sees Katie give her my number!  I have keys her demon friend can play with.  Until next time....Abyssinia!!

The Burning Dead: A Movie Review

Hello again boys and girls, this time I'm watching the 2015 flick "The Burning Dead" with Danny Trejo, Thomas Downey and Moniqua Plante.  "A sheriff must rescue an estranged family from a mountain during a volcano eruption and fight off a horde of lava-filled zombies brought to life by a curse."  As of 8/11 this has a 2.3 rating over on IMDB.  So this sounds like fun doesn't it?  We shall see.  Enough of my ramblings and onto my...um...ramblings about a movie!

• A nice game of patty cake between teenagers.  I remember when I was a teenager playing patty cake with my friends....wait....not so much
• Oh Danny Trejo....who picks these movies for you?  
• Is that a zombie or a really pale dude?  I dig his hat though!
• Wow...this is not starting off good...as in hardly watchable
• I see some of these actors who are in these bad movies, I wonder if they make a living doing it. I mean a decent living not I work at the A&P and make a living.  Because I honestly believe I can do as good as most of these guys
• Oh she is digging her badge....not a word that starts with v....I thought she said vage okay!
• Ah yes, lots of scientific terms!
• I can't write dialog personally but I think I can do better then this!
• Yes a cop on a crutch!  Drama is coming
• Ah yes, nothing like a family drama during a volcano evacuation
• The black tape on the brand name of the gum, big budget!
• I think they dubbed that girls voice...or she is really bad at ADA
• Oh that makes perfect sense, "blogger"
• Does this boyfriend get eaten anytime soon?
• I think that shot was from the top of a remote control car
• I think these zombies are here to promote Scientology
• Fast moving lava that slows down near a car...very polite lava
• He lost his hat?  That is bullshit
• Not the worse death scene but its up there
• You People?  Really?  Raciest against zombies I see
• How is this boyfriend not eaten yet?
• Climb that tree that anyone or thing can climb!  
• Where did granddads iPad go?
• Sneaky damn zombies!
• I think that one is the little girl from F.E.A.R....I hated that girl....
• I want free cake on my birthday!
• I think that one zombie is wearing work gloves....eating people is dirty work
• No I think they're dishwashing gloves
• They just said "Lava Zombies" awesome!!
• Ah yes, the outside wires that for some reason effect the wi-fi
• Nothing brings a family together like lava zombies
• twitter saving lives again
• The Donner Pass Curse?
• Yes lets attract the zombies to us
• The daughter looks like Daisy from Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D
• Yes leave the gun and car....brilliant!
• Justice!
• They get over the deaths of people quickly

I don't know what to say about this flick.  I give it 1/10.  I have nothing good to say about this sadly. It makes SyFy movies look good!  Avoid this flick with all cost.  Do not go buy it at my amazon store!  DON'T DO IT!

I'm going to go sew my eyes shut like Event Horizon.  Until next time....Abyssinia!

Movie Review: Fantastic Four

Here we go, It is the 2015 Fantastic Four.  It stars Miles Teller, Kate Mara and Michael B. Jordan.  “Four young outsiders teleport to an alternate and dangerous universe which alters their physical form in shocking ways. The four must learn to harness their new abilities and work together to save Earth from a former friend turned enemy.”  As of 8/9 over on IMDB it currently has a rating of 4.0.  It has been blasted by critics and fans alike.  Lets see if they giving this flick a fair chance or just going off the fact that it looks like a horrible film in every preview they released

• The fact that Michael Chiklis isn’t Ben Grimm makes this movie flawed from the start, let me just say that to start
• Eli Manning is his personal hero?  Oh its not Reed
• Why am I seeing Homer Simpson but not hearing him?
• Ah yes the Teen Titans….no?  Are you sure that isn’t what I’m watching?
• The abusive family for Ben...of course that is why he is so angry
• This is because that one kid is a fan of Eli Manning fan!
• Wait...he can teleport things but not sure where?  Helpful.  The early Star Trek teleporters were safer
• So Ben is just a bully who befriends Reed?
• They really are teenagers?  Really?  Teen Titans would have a been a better choice...mostly because I want to see Cyborg
• Eleven Minutes in and this is the best writing ever….I assume in this other dimension that things are going everything is opposite?  No?
• Ah yes, Doom...might as well have called him Victor Von Badguy like in the Muppet Movie.  Victor is what...thirty?  Like Johnny Storm.  I don’t get this casting at all?!
• Of course, everyone loves Sue.  Ben, Victor and Reed.  Amazing.
• Where is Vin Diesel?  NOS!!!!!!!!
• TIME FOR A MONTAGE!  
• The film is listed as a 100 minutes on IMDB and they felt the need for a montage?  
• I hate not knowing the ages of characters because I get a pretty creepy vibe from Doom and Sue.  I guess it is because Sue looks much younger (even though the actors are only a year apart in age)
• I guess that is a good thing, the creepy vibe, since Doom is...well….creepy
• Oh I get it, its a prequel to Planet of the Apes!
• The casting is still confusing
• Good thing they built a suit for Ben...seeing as how that was the plan the entire time….being the same size as Sue and all….  *DETAILS!*
• So the “daredevil” isn’t a daredevil?  That makes perfect sense….
• I was about to say that this wasn’t horrible but then the characteristics they’ve established change suddenly because….well….um…..
• Well this was doomed from the beginning...huh….doomed….get it!  What, you know I’m not the first person to make that horrible joke!
• To be fair, I am not hating this movie thus far.  I’m about halfway through and I don’t hate it.  I don’t like it...it is just there
• I would think the Mr. Fantastic effects would have improved since 2005….I thought wrong
• Covert operations?  A giant orange rock monster?  Yeah no one would notice that
• Wow….Thing looks awful!  How did a movie 10 years later with much better FX make things look worse?
• How does an action comic book movie bore me?
• I am actually bored during an action movie
• Ah, he has the force.  That makes sense.  
• The Human Torch effect is pretty good
• Even the big fight scene is boring!
• I saw this scene in the first Avengers...and it was better done and more enjoyable...and there was a Hulk screaming

Okay….um….I don’t know what to say what I just watched.  It was...well as I said above it was boring!  Let me get my rating out of the way and much like the IMDB average I’m going to say 4/10.  

Lets get to the meat and potatoes of it all.  It was just an awful “re-imagining” of one of the first, if not the first, superhero team.  The casting was poor because the actors were all over the place age and look wise.  I think they were all suppose to be around the same age but Doom looked a good ten years older as I mentioned as I was watching the flick.  The sorta love story but not but hinted at was odd.  

The special effects were mostly mediocre at best.  For a “big budget” blockbuster I feel like they missed the mark.  The superpowers effects were basically repeats from the 2005 film.  However the acting was a major step back.  I don’t know if I blame the actors themselves or the script, which was piss poor as well.  Aside from Michael B. Jordan and Reg E. Cathey I am really not familiar with the other actors but none of them did much to impress me.  Cathey did an okay job but they had nothing to work with.

Recently the director Josh Trank blamed the studio for the films bad reviews.  He was the director and has a screenplay credit as well.  Unless the studio went and recut the flick without his knowledge or completely micromanaged things he has to look in the mirror and realize he did a bad job.  We probably won’t know the true story but until I hear something from 20th Century Fox I don’t believe Trank. Seems like sour grapes to making a bad movie.

Overall this was another failed Fantastic Four movie.  I think Marvel should do whatever it takes to get control over this franchise as soon as possible.  I don’t know how many more chances fans will give Reed and company.  

I can’t suggest going to see this.  There is nothing good to go with this flick.  Visually, acting, script, music….nothing.  Go see Mission Impossible or Ant-Man or anything really.  

I think I’ve said said enough.  Until next time...Abyssinia!

Movie Review: Primal Fear

Welcome back!  This time I am going to review the 1996 flick Primal Fear.  it stars Richard Gere, Laura Linney and Edward Norton.  "An altar boy is accused of murdering a priest, and the truth is buried several layers deep."  Over on IMDB it has a rating of 7.7 as of 8/8.  Lets get to it!

• Richard Gere is in this?  Is his gerbil?
• Wow that is a young looking Eddie Norton
• Quite a few big names showing up early on
• I really don't like Gere for some reason.  Not in the he is sometimes plays sleazy characters but in the there is something I don't like about him
• Well that was extreme!
• Is Martin Vail about fame?  The big hunt?  Does he know the kid?
• Ugg, that accent is horrible Eddie!
• WACKER DRIVE!  I always think about Blues Brothers when I hear/see Wacker Drive
• Already making you think it isn't Norton.  A red herring....like Communism?  
• Martin Vail is no Matlock that is for sure
• Janet Venable is kind of weird looking
• Vail doesn't make sense at all thus far.  Is he for justice?  Fame?  Himself?  Love?  Thus far they kind of imply all yet none
• Conrad McMasters wouldn't have got caught off guard like that....well actually he would have 
• Good grief, that earring thing...I hate that!  One of those things that give me the chills
• I bet the stuttering is an act
• Malinger in my bet!
• I think I am starting to understand Vail.  He is the master manipulator.  I am starting to like him, although I dislike Gere still, his smirk even bothers me
• Hmmm, who is this Linda?  
• Awwww, the mobster with a heart
• What big time lawyer would wear a tie like Vail is right now?  None that is who
• This flick is a little slow
• Not a fan of this judge 
• Gere is not very good in this role I don't think
• Sex Stuff?  Really?  Not fucking or anything like that...its sex stuff.  
• Man ass alert!
• Again with the sex stuff?
• Look at that old school Coke machine!
• No one knows how to wear a tie in this flick!
• I think I'd really like the Vail character if a better actor was playing him
• Vail sure isn't a very good attorney for being the best in the game, hell Aaron is better off defending himself
• Isn't that the point?  Justice?
• They just leave the door wide open?  After what Aaron did?

I think I'll start with my rating.  I give it a 6/10.  It would have been more if they had a better lead.  To be fair I can't remember watching another flick with Gere as the lead and now I know why!  Everyone else was excellent in this, especially Norton, who was amazing, so amazing he overplayed his hand!  But that is the directors fault, he should have pulled him back just a bit I think.

This flick is just over 2 hours and it needed to be pulled back.  Cut the scene with Vail and Shaughnessy in the restaurant.  Cut the case scene with Alex in half at least and that scene.  Cut the scene where Vail freaks out after the book is revealed in court.  All over those scenes could be cut. The interviews with the writer at the beginning as well.  In fact the entire interview concept went nowhere.  They tease that Vail did something illegal but it goes nowhere.  And the scenes with the mobster was pretty much pointless other then to show how blood thirsty Shaughnessy was yet he leaves Vail and Venable alone?  

Now I almost want to go back and lower my rating.  It was long, drawn out...as a matter of fact I am lowering it.  5/10!  Too many little holes now that I start thinking about it.  None with the trial but everything else around the trial with Vail.  Vail was a bad character, bad designed I mean.  He was poorly performed and poorly written.  When you have a poor main character even if everyone else around him was good, and they were, you are doom to mediocracy.  

There you go.  if you've got a couple of hours to waste and want to see an amazing performance by Edward Norton watch his scenes and skip the rest!  Until next time....Aby...Aby....Abyssinia!

Movie Review: Identity

This time I watched the 2003 Thriller Identity.  Over on IMDB it has a rating of 7.3 as of 8/8.  It stars John Cusack, Ray Liotta and Amanda Peet.  "Stranded at a desolate Nevada motel during a nasty rain-storm, ten strangers become acquainted with each other when they realize that they're being killed off one by one."  Lets get this done because my key has a #7.....

• I feel like I'm watching the end of the Usual Suspects, that I should be paying much more attention then I am, instead I'm typing this up
• A drinking game to Wheel of Fortune....interesting
• John C. McGinley is a actor!
• 6 or 9?  I wonder if I'll need to remember that
• The time line confuses me just a bit thus far, not sure if this is a flash back or happening as it is happening....wait....never mind
• Wait....is this a prequel to Frightners?
• Good thing the limo driver knows First Aid...or how to sew a button
• Jake Busey is as weird looking as his daddy!
• Ray Liotta is another actor that I never trust.  He could be saving puppies and I would assume he is up to no good
• Two pills....that is weird...I should probably be paying much better attention to what is going on....everyone seems to have secrets
• I once stayed in a hotel like this....I ended up with Scarlet Fever
• That is Rebecca De Mornay?  She looks so different with Red Hair
• This is the reason that I don't stop at back water hotels anymore....well and the Scarlet Fever
• I'm pretty sure I'd go and lock my door and barricade that mother up
• In the dryer?  That is different
• Why would the killer alert the others?
• A newlywed bliss
• Why do they open the door?  They always open the door!
• A lot of misdirection going on, I'd like to say I know who did it but I have yet to see Verbal Kent
• What the hell is right
• Honestly if you want a creepy looking guy to be in your movie Jake Busey is a great choice
• This flick has a great cast and everyone has been amazing thus far!
• Wow....um....how....
• Seriously....locked...in...my...room!!
• Otis?  The Walking Dead's Otis?  Awesome!
• Doc Oct is much different without his suit
• Wait...is this a prequel to Poltergeist?
• They are all in Nevada
• Is it?  No...nope....my guess was wrong....wait....could be still....but could it be?
• Yeah...I'm confused a hell right now...good job movie!
• I think this is a prequel to Poltergeist
• Okay...again...what the hell!
• I was right I think....but spoiler free here...so I can't prove it....
• Nope I wasn't right, I'll admit it
• John Cusack does quite a few of these weird flicks doesn't he
• Hmmm, I take it back....I still might be right...because we didn't see two people die did we (sort of a spoiler to prove I might be right)
• I WAS RIGHT!!!

I think I'll start with my rating.  8/10.  I save anything higher for those flicks that I absolutely loved and this just isn't quite that.  It isn't that there was anything wrong with the flick, in fact I am not sure I have anything bad to say about it, but it just isn't that amazing have to watch several times in a row type flick...but close.

From here on out you're going to see spoilers so you've been warned

The cast and acting itself is amazing.  Even the smaller parts like that by Carmen Argenziano or Matt Letscher were well done.  For me I think the small part by Otis...er....Pruitt Taylor Vince stole the show for me.  I was surprised to see him get wheeled out and then really impressed by his Gollum like performance.  

Now it is a mystery/suspense thriller so a a viewer you're trying to figure out who did it.  As I said as I was watching it they do the typical job of misdirection.  I think they did a good job of it till about half way through the flick.  They tipped their hand a bit...and if there was one bad thing it was that scene.  I did figure out it was Timmy (who for a young actor did a pretty damn good job) because of one scene.  They make you think it isn't but the one thing they didn't do was show the bodies in the car and that was what did it for me.  Had they showed some body parts...something....I might have bought it but that and the fact that his mom died after he went in there...alone...it did it.

However that didn't ruin it at all.  I would suggest anyone who enjoys thrillers to check this flick out! I would watch it a second time if I didn't have 25+ movies in my queue for all of you, my faithful readers.  That doesn't include when I go see new movies or book reviews or my continuing review of the TV Show Scream!  So expect to continue to see a review every few days.  

If you've got a flick you'd like to see me review let me know.  Also if you're going to be doing any shopping on Amazon please click the link to do your shopping with my account.  I get a small percentage for anything purchased...or click the ads for me.  Thank you for reading and as always...Abyssinia!!

Scream Epsiode 3 Review

• Noah is a horribly annoying character...unless they're trying to make him amoral because his delivery leaves a lot to be desired
• This "teenager" Brooke looks old enough to have her own teenagers most of the time
• Another reason that a TV horror show doesn't work is that they will add horrible music like right now
• This is a drama class?  How corny that they pair up the characters and then the "rest" in the library.  Really?  
• This kid is going to steal police files instead of having her come over
• Is Noah wearing a girls sweater?
• I am not saying that my hair is good but Kieran's hair is awful
• Bobcat and the Shark?  Strangely that probably works really well to for todays kids
• Wow "Daisy" didn't try to argue or hide that she is "Daisy"
• Noah is right about the Last of Us cut scene
• Explain to me why she would EVER answer an Unknown Caller
• DM?  What 40 year old wrote this.  That wasn't on twitter from what I can tell.  Looked more like a text to me
• Ah yes the forced safe sex scene
• Blackmail?  
• Wow kids in murdertown are ready to kill each other at the drop of a hat!
• When this series is over I think I need a spa day!
• They really should have left the Ghostface mask alone
• Why did Emma look up?  

Remember everything i said about the draw back to a horror/slasher TV show, I was correct.  One kill, spread the potential around, point the finger this week at this person...then a different person another week by killing someone the first person wouldn't want dead.  Leave huge plot holes like the sheriffs son saying his dad was going home only for him to not be home at all so that the dumb heroine can figure that out at the last minute.  The implication that there is two killers (at least) but they can't figure it out because it is obviously the boyfriend who killed Nina even though you have multiple murders involving people involved in the original murders daughter.  The one good thing about Scream is that it was smart.  The people were smart, for the most part and well written.  Unfortunately you can't say that about these kids.  

Unless they're making a statement that the generation from the movie Scream is smarter then those in the TV Show Scream (which I'd agree with).  

Until next time....here is hoping the original Ghostface shows up to kill whatever this new guy is wearing!  Abyssinia!

Review of Episode 4 of Scream

Time for Episode 4 of the MTV series Scream (that link is to my Amazon store where you can purchase the weekly episodes...what...the Fat Man has to stay fat by eating!!).  This is the first time I've done a TV series review.  I am trying to be good and not spoil things boys and girls.  It has a 7.5 on IMDB as of my watching of this episode on 8/4, which is generous in my opinion.  

• The flaw in this show is that they believe they are making us care about the characters.  We don't have enough background to care
• Is "Daisy" the worse mom every?  I'll be right back?  Go to the crime scene?
• The podcast is the viewer now?  It should have been all along!
• Brooke is what...30?
• Teenage jobs sure are easier then what they were when I was young
• So the virgin survives thus far, at least they are sticking to the rules
• Bex Taylor-Klaus is easily the best actress on this show
• Murdertown is kind of small...since it is mostly teens showing up to a major news conference. The devil is in the details boys and girls
• The sheriff has some great people skills
• Will is the scum of the earth, killer or not
• Are those Lisa Loeb glasses?
• So every teenager drinks?  I guess I was a nerd....well if you know me there is no guess...
• I must be doing workplace stuff wrong.  Apparently there is suppose to be inter-workplace romances everywhere!
• Jake is extremely creepy looking...and strangely fake looking...which is weird...but I like his hair...DAMN IT!  (hair reference)
• Nice, keeping together, I dig that
• That has to be a stencil, like the Andre the Giant thing there for a while
• Why would an abandoned hospital have power?
• Noah's balls are going to hurt....well almost (sorry spoiler)
• Good slashers don't have lairs, serial killers do.  Devil & details...
• Gloves? Really?  Take it and run!  Although...all of her friends dying does sorta of make her a suspect
• I am actually impressed that she did this.  Knocking the writing and then they do this, doesn't make up for it but well good job writer man
• Perhaps worst break scream ever!
• Ah yes, make the sheriff look guilty this time.  We haven't had pushed the guilty toward him yet
• Seriously how old is Brooke suppose to be?
• Jake's eyes are too close together or something....
• Uggg, who picks these horrible songs?
• Ah, the movie nerd is a computer nerd as well...of course
• Informing the creepy podcaster who needs content?  Not a good idea
• Wait....a video file with an exe in it?  NOOOOOO!!!
• Is the podcast younger then Brooke?
• First time at what?  Oh....

I will say the show is picking up steam until the end.  This was easily the best episode both in writing and acting.  I think it is because it was a heavy Emma and Audrey episode.  Easily the best actors on the show. Audrey of course is/was on Arrow for several seasons and I haven't seen Emma on anything but she is heads and shoulders better than her peers.  

I am sorry I don't mean to be harsh on these actors, they are doing what many of us wish we could. I'd like to say I'd be better but well...not so much most likely.  I may not be able to do it but I know good and bad.  

The momentum is picking up and I am glad.  I want this to be good.  It could be.  I feel that the writers are starting to figure out characters/plot.  Please keep this momentum and don't disappoint me!

Mission Impossible Rogue Nation or Impossible to watch another one of these

A special review today as I ventured out on the weekend to watch Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation.  As of today it has an IMDB rating of 8.1.  This entry into the series stars Tom Cruise, Rebecca Ferguson and Jeremy Renner.  "Ethan and team take on their most impossible mission yet, eradicating the Syndicate - an International rogue organization as highly skilled as they are, committed to destroying the IMF."   These comments were written down in the theaters so I am sure I missed some snide comments....er....interesting comments...or if they'll even make sense/are in order.  And having just copied and pasted the description from IMDB isn't this plot the same as the last one?  Also 2 hours is a little long don't you think?  Or is it?  Let's go find out!

• I will start this off by saying I don't really remember anything but the first flick so any inside references will be missed unless it is a reference to Emilio Estevez
• Tom Cruise looks pretty good for a fifty something year old.  A old around the eyes
• Is that Michael Douglas from Falling Down?  D-FENS!
• Ah yes the usual awkward sexual tension that goes with spying
• I feel like we've seen this man hunt for Ethan Hunt before.  
• Shouldn't someone be yelling GO GO GO!
• That is one awful beard Tommy Boy
• Was that product placement for Microsoft?
• I wrote here something about Simon Peggs neck.  Did I want to neck with him?  Is it too big or small or long or something...damn it my hand writing sucks and is worse in the dark
• Simon Pegg has become the best part of this series
• They must have paid a lot of the key lock tool thing, having seen it several times
• Ethan must be getting old...but this fight over the stage is pretty cool
• As Triple H says, always have a plan B
• Never trust someone in yellow
• More like Mission: Impossible - Conspiracy Theory
• Is Ilsa suppose to be a Bond Girl like character?
• World craziest water slide perhaps?  
• I want my windows to unlock my car!
• BMW makes a damn nice car it seems
• I am having flashbacks to the horrible motorcycle chase scene in #3
• Everyone is playing everyone, I think I need a score card
• Mask time?
• Human Claymore?  Like Swordfish?  Really?
• Simon Pegg is really the star of this flick!  Every time he is on the screen you are reminded how great he is.

I think we'll start with my score.  7.5 out of 10.  I enjoyed it but it had its flaws.  First off it was long. Right around 2 hours.  Second quite a few things felt like old hat.  Motorcycle chase, random car chase, masks, decrypting lists.  It is like they put the first four flicks into a blender and what came out was this one.  Second the bad guy felt like a mix of all the bad guys from the past as well and the acting by Sean Harris felt like he was trying to be Christoph Waltz, but a poor mans version.  

It seems to be the trend in Hollywood to have longer movies with longer scenes.  Normally I wouldn't mind this but often they end up being pointless.  The Mission Impossible flicks have always been full of those but this one felt like it had more then others.  

It is worth going to and enjoyable.  Great popcorn flick.  

Until next....this blog will self destruct in 3 seconds....Abyssinia!

Movie Review: Justice League: Gods and Monsters

Up this time for review is the animated DCU flick Justice League: Gods and Monsters.  It has the voice acting talent of Benjamin Bratt, Michael C. Hall and Tamara Taylor.  "In an alternate universe, very different versions of DC's Trinity (Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman), who operate outside of the law, are framed for murders of prominent scientist and the government decides to take them out."  As of 7/31 on IMDB this has a 7.0 rating.  Here we go:

• The worst search squad ever!
• Wait....did Batman just float?
• And kill?  Yep...alt universe for sure
• Wait...he is a vampire?  BATMAN IS A VAMPIRE?  WHAT THE....
• Wonder Woman sure has a weird helmet
• It has only happened twice and it is weird to see Bats float/fly
• The people know Batman is a vampire?  I...um...wow
• Is this a retelling of the Justice Lords?
• A lot of violence already in this film.  Now I see why it is PG-13!
• It is odd to see such drastically different versions of the Trinity
• Also very odd to see so many different characters not as their characters.  Victor Fries, Ray Palmer, Lex Luthor and others
• MANBAT!  I just realized the name Kirk Langstrom
• This Alt universe is messing with me
• I am having a hard time pinning down the characters since they aren't the versions we're used to
• Game of Thrones meets the DC Universe?
• The violence level in this off the charts for an animated flick!
• I am quite confused by this film, it is all over the place
• That is why all of this happened?  
• This government needs the helicopters from the latest Terminator movie, they could do almost anything
• Kirk is no Bruce
• I always thought the boom tubes were kind of stupid, I never saw this use of them, nice
• Is that Luthor or Professor X?
• I made it through this entire review without mentioning how much I hated Kirks hair....damn it!

Off the bat (pun unintended) I liked the voice acting in this flick.  Yeah some of it is weird but well done.  It is odd that the characters are SO different.  I know back in the 90's they wanted to redesign the Justice League but DC said no.  Now they have in more ways then one.  However Wonder Woman feels more like Hawkgirl then a redesigned Wonder Woman.  The inclusion of Darkseid, High Father and company seemed like it was their way of trying to build a new DC Universe.  I am not sure I like this idea.  There is rumors of a TV show and a second movie.  A one off I don't mind but the idea of the characters that have been around for 50+ years getting such a drastic overhaul is a bit shocking.  

Once again DC shows that they can do their animated universe well, their TV universe shows well but their movie universe always struggles.  

I am going with a 6/10 for my rating.  The flick tries to do too much.  Also they make the Justice League just a little too stupid.  Falling for everything and walking right into the "bad" guys hands. But then again it isn't the JL we all know and love.  

If you like the DCAU (is that right...do they call it that?) it is worth watching.  I hope this doesn't stop the other DC Time Line from getting flicks though. 

That is it for now, this is the Fat Man signing off....Abyssinia!

Movie Review: Brazil

This time I'll be reviewing Brazil.  Recently at work we had a conversation about movies where the bad guy wins.  I asked my friends on the Facebook and this is one of the movies that came up.  I've never seen it, as I am not a huge fan of Terry's flicks.  Usually a little out there for me...and that is saying something.  As of 8/1 it has a 8.0 over on the IMDB.  As always I'll try to avoid spoilers...even though it is a 30 year old movie and then give you my full thoughts after my thoughts as I watch the flick.  The flick stars Jonathan Pryce, Kim Greist and Robert De Niro.  "A bureaucrat in a retro-future world tries to correct an administrative error and himself becomes an enemy of the state."  Enough of the opening credits lets get to this flick!

• Ah so this is where Walter White got the idea how to kill the fly
• Was that a Dalek in the background of the news report?
• Wow Santa is much different "somewhere in the 20th century"
• You've got to respect their control techniques
• Wait...did I download the Apple by accident?  That face paint sure looks like it.  
• Remember earlier when I said I didn't care for Terry Gilliam flicks, yeah I still don't
• I have to say it is quite the odd cast!  
• I do like the nuanced acting in the film
• Sorry the sarcasm just flows out sometimes
• I feel like this is the non musical version of the Apple but not nearly as funny/entertaining bad
• Good grief this flick is over two hours?  
• Wow that is a great mustache
• Wow, Smee is the most subtle performance thus far.  
• Good grief, I am having a birthday during this "check" scene
• Was that guy having sex with that display?  
• I am not nearly drunk enough for this flick
• I feel like very scene is twice or three times as long as it needs to be.  I get escapism flicks and anti authority and what not but good grief!
• Who is the samurai?  What is going on?  Is this what it feels like to be on acid?  
• WTF?  I didn't understand a god damn thing that person just "sang"
• I feel like I'm watching sister film to Blade Runner.  Both flicks people seem to love that I do not
• I don't get it.  Is this a comedy?  Dark comedy?  Satire?  Commentary on Society?  IMDB has it listed as Sci-fi but that doesn't seem right.  Dystopian future for sure but I can't figure out if it is more or not
• See I don't get it, is the desk scene suppose to be funny?  What about Lime?  Funny?
• Are they driving through a mall?  Is this Blues Brothers suddenly?
• Wait....the samurai represented the police?
• Is he flooding their suit with...that is just wrong!
• I think my friend was right, the bad guy won, the fact that the director got this movie made and released!  BAM!  
• That was one of the most awkward kisses in history
• Most likely on purpose but on many levels
• What was the purpose of the car chase/house scene?  
• Julian Doyle should be ashamed of this editing
• She suddenly loves him?  
• Why does Tuttle have a bedroll on his pack?
• Why didn't they go back up the wires instead of out the front?
• When did they plant explosives?  
• I think the acid is kicking back in, what just happened with the papers?  Is this a fight club thing?
• I don't understand a think that just happened after he was rescued....oh wait.....

Perhaps I'm in the wrong mood for this film but I did not enjoy this film at all.  2/10 from me.  I give it that much because visually it was well done.  I'll give Gilliam that, his films are always visually well done.  Beyond that I am not a fan.

Perhaps I am not "smart" enough to get Gilliam's films.  Perhaps they are too deep for my simple mind.  

Honestly though I was bored throughout the movie and aside from the visuals I have nothing good to say.  That isn't true, the actors did the best they could with what they were given.  I don't blame them for a script and directing and editing that seems subpar.  

I know it is a cult hit but good grief that was bad in my humble opinion.  I have friends who like it and to each their own but that is right up there with one of the worst movies I've sat through.  Sorry boys and girls but well this is my blog and its all about my opinions.  

Until next time....I...I wanted to say something from/about the movie here but I honestly can't think of anything worth it.  That is all folks.  Abyssinia!