Transformers

I am a fan boy when it comes to Transformers. Growing up it was Star Wars or Star Trek or GI Joe, it was Transformers. All I wanted growing up was a live action Transformers. How cool would that be? Well be careful what you ask for.

My though going into the first Transformers movie was how can someone screw it up. Transformers has a decent history, if you throw in the many different comic runs. Heck the announcement of Michael Bay didn't bother me. I like some of Bay's films. Armageddon was fun. Bad Boys was a good mix of action and comedy and it fit in the film. Heck I really like The Rock and that has Nicky Cage in it and he sucks ass.

But honestly how anyone can expect something good after Rise of the Fallen is beyond me. I gave Bay a pass on the first one, as I said earlier I kinda of liked it. Also let me say I want number 3 to be good. I really do. But it really pisses me off seeing things like Bay admitting that The Fallen was shit. You're the damn director you son of a bitch, if the script sucks fix it! That is like a coach saying "I knew the game plan wasn't going to work but we stuck with it".

Someone recently said "Hell even if it was a decent action movie because really what else will you get out of Transformers..."

What else will you get? You should get a movie that has a plot. The original series had plots. A what? Yes a plot. Were all the episodes of the cartoon good no. But in the series you had some pretty complex issues talked about especially when you look at episodes like The God Gambit from season 2.

When I was a kid it bothered me, to the point of nightmares, when thinking about the death of some of the Autobots in the 86 movie. Prowl's death especially. Did it bother me when Jazz died in the 07 movie? Nope. Why? Because he had been in the movie maybe 10 minutes. He had two lines maybe. That moment would have been devastating on the TV show because I had a reason to care. Each Transformer had personality. Each Transformers had character and it was shown. Instead Bay focused on stupid humor and Shia and his horrible acting.

What Bay doesn't understand is that people going to a TRANSFORMERS movie want transformers. Hell I can't tell you the name of most of the Transformers in the first two movies. At one point, and probably now if you give me some time, I could name ALL Of the Transformers seen in the first two seasons of the cartoon.

Give me a reason to care about Jazz dying. Give me a reason to care about Sam. Give me a reason to care about anything when it comes to these movies. So far it has been a bunch of scenes that really don't seem to fit together. Why was Prime brought back from the dead in the series? Because of the public outcry. Because people cared. Some people (Bay) don't understand emotional connections like that.

But Fat Man, you had 2.5 hours a week to get to know these characters. That is true but I have had about 5 hours to get to know the new transformers from the movies and I don't care. I don't care about Prime or Megatron. The other Transformers haven't had enough screen time to even call them characters. Sam and his girlfriend I sure don't connect with.

To sum it up all I want from a Transformers movie is:

1. Transformers that I tell from one another.
2. Character development
3. Plot
4. The absence of dogs humping, robot balls, robots pissing on people, etc.
5. Corey Burton as the voice of Shockwave (the orig. voice actor, that's me being a fan boy)

One final note. I bitched and moaned when Frank Welker wasn't Megatron. On the extras for the first movie you can hear Welker as Megs for a scene and it doesn't fit the new design for Megs. Now personally I say then you have a different design because Megatron should always be voiced by Welker but that was a good call. I don't know if I ever said that before. Atleast Bay and company cast Welker as Soundwave in the second film. One of the few bright spots.

In closing let me say I'll see number 3. I have no hope for it but I'll see it. Let me end this with a quote from the REAL Transformers movie that fits this blog entry and my mood to seeing a good Transformers 3...

"...there is no hope, no hope, no hope, no hope at all." -Blurr