Impact for 11-08-12

Here we go, it is Thursday Night and we are taking a time to Orlando and the Impact Zone!

We start off with the Aces and Eight in the back talking to "Doc" who is the former Luke Gallows and the "Director of Chaos", get it DoC.  They make it like they are a motorcycle gang talking about him not being a full member and just a prospect.  We find out it will be Kurt Angle and Sting against Devon and Doc.  Not sure what to say about it, we'll see.  I really don't like the new announcers and miss Taz and Mike Tenay.

James Storm comes out to the announce booth and our opening match will be AJ Styles and Bobby Roode.  These guys will have a good match but I have a bad feeling for AJ Styles because I think he is going to get pinned at Turning Point and not have a Title Match for nearly a year.  I don't see it being Bobby or James and the build up of AJ fighting for the year could be a good match.  Already the stupid crowd is chanting but I won't rant and rave about the stupid people there.  This match is okay but there is something missing about it.  I don't know what it is.  This match seems to just be there.  May be it is the announcing just isn't there to make it feel important.  I've ranted on tattoos a bit but man AJ's is bad!   They mentioned that Storm and Styles were on the first TNA show and Roode wasn't far behind as Team Canada.  Weird to think about that but these guys have been the foundation of the company and maybe that is why they are seen as second rate.  Not a knock on these guys but when you think superstar these guys don't come to mind really, well maybe Bobby.  Surprise Storm is going down to the ring while Roode grabs a chair.  Roode gets the win after a distracted AJ was arguing with Storm.  Again never seemed to get going.

A Double, ugggg, is in the back talking to Hulk Hogan.  He isn't a ladder climber he is a professional wrestler.  Hogan is going to remove A Double from the ladder match if he doesn't give the title back.  In an interesting moment, I'm not sure if it was suppose to happen, but they just had it like the Halo 4 commercial, the Ancient Evil, took over the broadcast after a few issues.  If it was planned pretty cool and if not at least the screw up seemed to be cool.

Kurt is in the back talking to Wes Brisco and Sting shows up.  When is Brisco going to turn on Angle already!  It has been too long and boy is he goofy looking.

One of my favorite acts in TNA is in the ring, Joseph Park!  Pretty cool they are showing the replay of last week and having the interview in split screen instead of wasting time of just a cut scene.  He wants this match because it is about being a man.  I kind of like it but he is now begging Hogan for a match.  More Hogan crap and here he comes.  Three segments thus far and he has been in two of them.  Again I don't want to make it sound like I'm bashing Hogan but he is so far behind the times Brother!  Here comes my second favorite guy Bully Ray.  The Bully is sticking up for Park?  How can Bully be a good guy?  They've taken the toughest and hottest guy in the business and neutered him.  Good grief he is now saying to believe in Park because "They", the crowd, do.  This from a guy would a few weeks ago would rather have pissed on the crowd then to listen to them.  They have taken this and made it all about Hogan.  I'm done with this segment and the virtual blowjob to Hogan.  Park gets his match.

We then go to Tara and Jesse in the back.  He is talking about his these moves that he hit which he didn't.  ODB comes in and says that Eric Young isn't there so she'll beat them both up.  I know where Eric Young is.  He is here in Michigan at a house show.  I am not there because I knew no one major would be on the house show.  Young said on his twitter account that this might be the end of his TNA run.  He left briefly before because they didn't use him right.

Storm and Styles get into verbally in the back and we go to the ring.  Go to tnamakeanimpact.com to donate to their Sandy storm recovery fund.  I am trying to ignore the match of ODB taking on Tara and Jesse.  Surprisingly both are in the ring and no tags.  Really been almost all ODB which is really a way to promote the power duo.  ODB with a Bronco Buster and she yells that she is a classy Bioach.  I kind of like that and she gets the win with a spear on Tara.  They attack her after the match and dump the flask on her.  Come one TNA the Knockouts deserve better.

ODB is talking to Eric Young on the phone in the back.  He must be in the ring up in Mount Pleasant.  Taz, Al Snow and Bruce Pritchard talk about Christian York and if he is going to get the contract.  Taz briefly mentioned he has no power when Bruce says Taz watched it at home.  They do bash Al Snow and his really odd jacket briefly as well.

Time for our main event?  What?  Here comes Angle and we have our tag team match.  

I wish there was an IMDB type website for TV commercials.  I really want to know who the chick who sings in the 5 Hour Energy Pink Lemonade commercial is.  She has a really good voice in my opinion.

This has been a brawl basically thus far.  It is nice to have Taz back in the booth he was missed.  Really is a great color man, may be the best right now announcing.  Sting is down and being worked over.  Weird that he still wrestles in a t-shirt but I assume it is because he isn't in "sting" shape anymore.  Devon however is in Sting shape, just amazing the way the former Dudley's have changed their look in the last year.  They continue to work over Sting as Angle watches on.  I hope that this Aces and Eight storyline starts to wrap up soon.  It is long in the tooth and honestly whoever they make the leader just won't be a big enough name, unless it is Vince McMahon, and there is NO CHANCE IN HELL that that happens.  Devon uses a bat to get DQ'ed and out come Bully Ray.  Bully and Devon run away and we have gang warfare in the ring.  Sting goes through a table after being hit by a hammer.  Doc is given the hammer and he hits sting in the chest and then the hand several times.  Where is the Impact crew?  Where is Chavo Guerrero, the savior of TNA?  Finally Chavo and company come out.  What were they doing?  The stupid ass fans are chanting for Samoa Joe instead of Sting while Chavo says we need a doctor, no kidding.  Finally a few members of the crowd chant for Sting.  Back in the day this would be where they show a kid crying like they did when Earthquake laid out Hogan back in the day but no one cares that much anymore sadly.  They are helping him walk out instead of a stretcher job?  Really?  He took probably 10 shots from a hammer in the check, back and hands and they just walk him back.  Missed chance there I think.

A recap of what just happened and then right back to commercial?  If they were going to do that a stretcher job would have been great.  They come back and they are still strapping Sting down.  They say this is too much for some fans so we'll take another break while we get medical attention for Sting.  It is old school and simple and effective.

It is time for the Gut Check.  I think he should get a chance.  Wow York didn't give a very good promo there.  Taz says yes.  Brother Love says yes and we don't even need to hear from Al Snow and we have a new member of Impact Wrestling.

Bully and Brooke Hogan argue in the back and Aries is on the phone with someone telling them to find a loophole.

I kind of like the weird Subway commercials where they have the little kid voices.  Not sure why but I think they are kind of cleaver.

Hogan is on the phone and wants to know how bad he is hurt and how quickly he can get Sting back.  Yes more Hogan!  Joey Ryan is in the back and wants to be congratulated for winning the X Division Title.  Hogan mouths off and then tells Matt Morgan he won't be at ringside.  Matt says he doesn't know who he is messing with and walks off while Hogan says he does know and does an evil laugh.  Yep an evil laugh from the face GM.  Morgan deserves better damn it and we do so that we have less Hogan on our TV.

Time for Magnus, Kazarian and Daniels to take on Samoa Joe, Chavo Guerrero and Hernandez.

It is weird to see Steve Austin's new show advertised during TNA and not during WWE's shows.

I don't know why I am so hard on Chavo but he is not the star they make him out to be.  He is a good hand but he isn't a superstar, there is a difference.  Hernandez is like Morgan, he could have been a major star for TNA but never given the chance.  Of the three men it is of course Samoa Joe being worked over, another guy who they haven't got the most out of.  The face team has been in charge too much of this match.  Finally they get Chavo down and working on him.  A decent match thus far and Chavo going for a Frog Splash but sent to the floor.  Joe going for a Musclebuster but broken up by Daniels.  Daniels and Kazarian with a clothesline legsweep combo followed by a flying elbow from Magnus for the big win.

We are going to close the show out with an Aries and Jeff Hardy angle?  Really?  Why not do the Sting injury and then may be get a few buys from people buying Turning Point to see how Sting is.  I know it is 2012 and that probably wouldn't happen but why not try?

I was checking out my twitter account, @thetruefatman, during commercial and not only is there going to a Transformers 4 but Mark Wahlberg is going to star in it.  Damn it now I have to go see yet another horrible Transformers flick from Michael Bay.  Damn it damn it damn it!

I like Austin Aries, I really do, but I don't see him as a world champion.  If he was walking down the street and you didn't know him would you think champion?  You thought that with Hulk Hogan or Steve Austin or The Rock.  Aries not so much.  That isn't a knock on the guy because he is an amazing performer but at the end of the day the champion is larger than life and I don't see that with Aries or Hardy.  Matt Morgan yes.  Hernandez yes.  You also have the guys that look like bad asses like Bully Ray or Samoa Joe but you don't get that with Aries or Hardy.  Aries just called the fans out for chanting what.  I really hate that chant.  My opinion is that the World Champion is the guy that does the media and things like that.  It is guys like Aries that get the fans.  Much like Bret Hart or Shawn Michaels before they got the belt.  Just my thought on the World Title but what do I know.  Hardy just came down and brawled with Aries and now has both belts.  He is hanging them in the rafters and climbing the ladder to end the show...or not as Aries just took him and the ladder out.  We end the show with Aries on the ladder with Hardy trapped beneath it.

That is the end of the show and sets up the Turning Point Sunday.  I am off guys and it is time for Always Sunny in Philadelphia.


Results:

Bobby Roode defeated AJ Styles
ODB defeated Jesse and Tara
Sting and Kurt Angle defeated Doc and Devon
Daniels/Kazarian/Magnus defeated Samoa Joe/Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez

TNA Impact Review for 11-1-12

Click the above link to purchase episodes to Impact Wrestling from amazon.com

TNA rang in November with another live episode of Impact wrestling featuring Open Fight Night.  Here are my thoughts as things happened

Still not right not to hear Mike Tenay or Taz to start the show.

We start the show with Joseph Park in the ring.  I really REALLY like this character and it shows how much of a character this man is.  I miss Abyss but after all the abuse he has taken there is nothing wrong with this.  Plus his facial expressions are amazing.  Joseph reminds us that he is a man and that because of loophole he can challenge someone to a fight on Open Fight Night.  I think next open fight night I am going to challenge Christy Hemme to a fight!  Time for Park vs. an Aces and Eight member but 4 members come out.  Out comes the cyborg, as Hogan called him, Kurt Angle who gets abused until Sting comes out and out goes Aces and Eight. Sting says we are going to get to see a member when they rip the mask off.

Wow Christian York looks JACKED!

I love Tara but who is this putz they put her with?  Some moron from Big Brother…really?  Still not as bad as that horrible 3MB segment from Raw.

Next open fight night challenge is going to be Magnus and Samoa Joe for the TV title.  He is calling him out because Joe isn’t the correct image.  Really?  Not because he wants the title.  *sigh*  TNA doing some fund raising for the victims of Sandy.  Good cause.  Magnus grabbed a wrench and knocked out Joe to continue their feud.  Not much really here as it was just to continue their feud.  I wanted another Joe squash. 

Yay Hogan is on my screen and its Kurt Angle and Devon at Turning Point.  Wes Brisco and Garrett Bischoff are backing up Kurt tonight.  Hell I could have been down there to help and I think I am more intimidating then those two.

Magnus made a mistake apparently….that is what Joe is telling us and he is going to kill Magnus.

For the record A Double might be the DUMBEST nickname in wrestling.  I dig Austin Aries but often turn off the commentary because of that horrible nickname.  Now time for Jeff Hardy to do a voiceover about A Double while painting his face.

Kazarian and Daniels heading to the ring and that is a good thing and they have mics which is even better!  Remember when Kaz wouldn’t cut his hair in WWE, yeah most don’t.  They are teasing that they are going to call out Chavo and Hernandez but it is the Spanish announce team.  Hector Guerrero and someone named Willie Urbina.  Wow Mexican American made the save.  So far not a great show.  Time for a video on Christian York.

For the Gut Check it will be Christian York and Zima Ion.  This could be good.  Wow York looks OLD!  York looks like the old GWF Chris Walker.  This has been a little sloppy but most X Division matches are.  Ion with the win with Submission Impossible which wasn’t a surprised.  Aries is interviewed and goes into Robbie E and Robbie T’s locker room.

I really hate the Sonic commercials with the morons in the car.

Time for a brawl with Angle, Sting, Bully Ray and Garrett between Aces and Eights and Sting threatens to take a mask off but doesn’t.  I don’t get it!  Now ODB is calling out Jesse or whatever his name is.  At least Taryn Terrell is in the ring!  Tara is as tall as Jesse.  Reminds me of that quote from George on Seinfeld…oh never mind.  This match has been horrible and is now spanking Jesse.  Jesse wins after Tara distracts ODB and good grief that was bowling shoe ugly.  So far this show has been a step back from recent weeks in my opinion.  The Professor is now at the table and here comes Robbie E and T and some amazing sweaters!  Time for a rematch from the Bound for Glory series as Robbie E takes on Jeff Hardy.  Not surprisingly Jeff wins and Aries comes out to mouth off and Jeff sets up a ladder.  Ladder match now at Turning Point.     

Wow Matt Morgan just took the cape that Hogan wore at Shea Stadium at his store opening.  Matt should be in the main event not in some stupid ass angle with Hogan.  Now James Storm is back begging to Hogan for a chance.  Really!

Bobby Roode is out and he is complaining that he is getting screwed once again.  Here comes AJ Styles and hopefully he leaves his shirt on so we don’t have to see those horrible tattoos.  Wow Styles just took a shot at WWE and the use of photos and whatnot in an angle.  Roode says no to a fight but attacks AJ.  Oh great here comes Hogan with the Cowboy.  Turning Point is going see Styles vs. Roode vs. Storm and the winner is the number one contender and the loser can’t get another shot until Bound for Glory next year.

Here comes Joey Ryan and Matt Morgan.  An interesting duo.  Morgan has the robe on that he stole for the Hulkster.  Wow he just dropped an ‘S’ bomb on live TV!  I like it.  Joey just said he avoids VD’s but he is calling out R-VD.  Its RVD and Joey Ryan!

I think the match lasted three minutes as Joey gets the win after Morgan pulled Ryan out of the way of a 5 Star.  Morgan then laid out RVD with the Carbon Footprint.

Next week it’ll be Styles and Roode one on one and it is main event time.  Team 3D collides once again as Bully Ray, yes a face Bully Ray, takes on Brother Devon.  Wow Devon looks amazing.  Both Dudley’s (can I say that) have gotten into amazing shape in the last year.  Big surprise, a table is in the ring already.  Here comes more members of Aces and Eights.  I think there are 9 members for 30 or 60 seconds and finally here comes TNA and we have WCW and the nWo fighting….er TNA and Aces and Eights.  Thank god Chavo Guerrero is out there to protect Bully!  He created lying and cheating and stealing if you didn’t know that (jackass).  Joseph Park has hit the ring!  I really dig him but he is getting stomped down…and the mask comes off!  IT IS LUKE GALLOWS!  “An enforcer for some of the biggest names in the sport” as the Professor says.  Park through the table and we are off the air.

Random Thoughts:

As I mentioned at some point above this show seemed to really be a step backwards for TNA. 

The angle with Tara, who has always been one of my favorite female performers, is just horrible.  They hype for he Hollywood boyfriend for it to end up being this guy from a second rate reality show just fell short. 

The begging of Hogan for a chance makes me sick each week.  Hogan really shouldn’t be on TV this much.  A GM or whatever should be used in one segment may be two but Hogan gets too much play.  I respect the Hulkster but it is too much.  I was writing this part and out comes Hogan again.  Really too much.

Matt Morgan is once again being wasted in this angle with Hogan and Joey Ryan.  Morgan is a monster should be pushed as one.  I would have destroy everyone from Jeff Hardy to Aces and Eight.  No talking, even though he is a good promo, just destruction.  Throw in announces and backstage people.  Doesn’t matter, just have him destroy everyone for a few months and then explain why.  The promo he cut this week should have been done in a few months after he decimated the roster and crew.  Well take out the stupid robe part.

RVD and Joey Ryan get about 3 minutes and Jesse and ODB get probably 8.  Something wrong with that picture guys.  Makes me wonder if giving RVD the belt is a way to keep him around as it is reported his contract ends sometime in the first quarter of 2013.

Bully Ray was on the verge of being the best heel in the business and he is now a face.  Hopefully he turns on TNA at some point but I really don’t think so.  I get the feeling that they don’t know who the leader of Aces and Eights will be. 

Results:

Samoa Joe defeated Magnus by DQ

Zima Ion defeated Christian York

Jesse defeated ODB

Joey Ryan defeated RVD

Bully Ray and Devon fought to a no contest

Wrestling

The few people who *MIGHT* read this know that I am a wrestling fan. I have been for years and years (20+). Since 2007, and that is when everyone knew about wrestling because of Chris Benoit, wrestling has pretty much sucked. Vince McMahon and WWE have gone PG. What does that mean? That means just what it sounds. Its like watching a PG movie. However wrestling shouldn't be PG. Its like watching Predator or Die Hard on broadcast TV. All the violence, swearing and fun are gone and you have this crap that leaves you thinking...something is missing.

Now I am not saying I want to see everyone bleed every match. I am not saying I want to hear every word possible. However I want to be entertained. I haven't been entertained for years now. Hell I don't remember the last show I watched all the way through, probably Wrestlemania and this is from a man who used to NOT be able to work on Monday's because that is when Raw and Nitro were on. I didn't miss a Raw for 4+ years and only started missing them because when I want to school they didn't have the USA Network. I own over 500 video tapes of JUST wrestling. I have terabytes of just wrestling. Its a sickness and I mean that in the best possible way.

Roddy Piper was the first to call it a sickness and its true. I want to stop watching. Its so bad I don't want to watch but I can't. You know what it is, I'm in an abusive relationship. Vince McMahon and I are in this relationship. I keep saying I'm done and won't let him abuse me and he keeps telling me things will be better. And I believe him.

He keeps giving me glimpses of greatness. Glimpses of the man who helped make Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin and The Rock. But then I have to see the Great Khali and have to see John Cena try to be the Rock and I'm reminded of the past.

Many wrestling fans look at the "Attitude Era" and the golden age. For those of you who aren't wrestling fans that was the time from 1997 to say 2000. When everywhere you looked you saw the black "Austin 3:16" shirt. You had NFL plays giving the nWo hand signal and doing the Diamond Cutter sign. It was when being a wrestling fan was cool.

I haven't been nor ever will be ashamed of being a wrestling fan. Do I broadcast it, no. Will I deny it, nope. Hell for a brief period of time in my life I thought about training under Dan Severn and being a weekend warrior as it were.

I love wrestling and it pains me to see the business like this. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the entertainment that I love has passed me by. Maybe I'm too old and I'm better off watching my tapes and remembering it all when I enjoyed it.

Take yesterday's Raw. The best part of the show was when the legends were in the ring. How great would a guy like Arn Anderson be now that promo's are the most important thing? Hearing Arn talk for two minutes made me realize just how bad Cena's opening segment was.

I wish I could say something good about what is happening in either WWE or TNA but I really can't. My spirit was broken when a guy, Daniel Bryant, was fired for doing what he was suppose to do, a violent angle. When he was released after what was one, if not the best angle, in recent memory. I know most people think its just a matter of time before he is back does it matter?

Again maybe I'm old and should stick to my Arn Anderson tapes. What does it say when I would rather watch Doink the Clown vs. Mr. Perfect or Marty Jannetty than anyone currently. The few bright spots, Daniel Bryant or Samoa Joe or William Regal (still a hell of a wrestler if given the chance), are fired or put in stupid gimmicks.

While I know this won't ever reach anyone who matters but I'm begging, hell I'll get on my knees and beg if need be, give me a reason to care. Give me a reason to care about Kaz. Make me care about the Uso's or the Hart Dynasty. Make me want to chant for Mr. Anderson. Until then maybe I've found a cure for the Sickness that Roddy Piper talked about...the current wrestling product.