Movie Review: Granny of the Dead

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you have found this review.  Tonight I'm checking out the 2017 flick Granny of the Dead.  As of 7/14/16 it has a rating of 5.1.  "Regular guy Ed (Marcus Carroll) awakes one morning to find that his Grandmother has become one of the living dead. While trapped in his home Ed tries to survive the day, keep his house zombie free, stay alive and save the day."  It stars Marcus Carroll, Abigail Hamilton and Oliver Ferriman.  I stumbled upon this today and had to check it out.  Lets see what happens

• Oh man this is going to be awful...I mean awful
• A mom apple pie joke, nice
• These are some really ugly actors!
• That was thunder?
• Why did she turn into a zombie?
• That zombie is super strong!
• Granny zombie is awesome!
• ZOMBIEVISION!
• That is what gets people killed, checking it out, you dumb ass!
• That zombie just cooked a cat....smart zombie!
• Gross skinny guy needs to put on a shirt!
• Why throw the knife/blade down?
• Zombie attack only on one street?
• Does the UK still have milkmen?
• A zombie demon?  AWESOME!
• Boy the acting leavings quite a bit to be desired here
• OH GOD SHE IS GOING TO BITE OFF HIS COCK!
• And we got to see the cock in the old birds mouth
• He shot the dog?  NOT COOL!
• Wait...there are still cars driving around?  What is this Birdemic?
• That is an annoying ring tone if I ever heard one
• This director went to the Michael Bay school of action scenes, shot it fast enough and it doesn't have to look good
• Awesome, they referenced Hobo with a Shotgun!
• That zombie was blocking bullets with her walker!  
• Doing the potty dance...doing the potty dance
• Okay the shit scene is making me chuckle a bit
• Was she hanging like a bat?
• Uggg, I hate blood on the camera in movies
• Nice Jurassic Park line/reference usage
• Its true, old people throw shoes!  This movie proved it
• That cop turned fast
• Why throw the hammer away?  Also you know have an exposed driver side window sunshine
• Shit that zombie can drive a front loader
• scratch and sniff walls, welcome to 2017!
• Better make sure you take some crisps kid
• You didn't lock the door you dumb kid
• Looks like someone is going to spit on that girls grave....because she is dressed like the main character....guess you have to watch the movie now to see what I mean
• For 90 minutes this is taking a long time
• He uses a gun about as well as I would, that makes me feel...really bad
• What is going on?  A hand out of her mouth?
• Aww, the two weird guys are in love, nice
• Bye bye Billy
• Topless zombie guy sure does a lot goofy facial acting, like the kid from the Goldbergs aka young Jack Black

Well that was interesting.  I'm not sure what to think.  IMDB has it at a 5 and I think I am going to go that route too.  I feel like it tried to be too much and didn't explain anything.  I'm not sure what happened to be honest.  What was the shadow hand thing?  Was it supernatural or just regular zombie stuff.  

The effects were bad and the acting was okay at best most of the time.  The one girl who I will call Spit on my Grave Girl (I think her name was Ceri in the flick) was probably the best....and Jurassic Park cop was good too.  

The effects were okay to poor but it was a low budget flick so that is to be expected.  

It isn't the trainwreck I wanted it to be so that is a good thing.  It was "MEH" for me.  If you have 90 minutes or so to kill, no pun intended, check it out.  

Until next time...remember...when there no more room in hell....people get to be really old and turn into zombie/demons...I guess...I don't know...its been a rough week

Movie Review: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever it is you have come across this entry.  First off I am sorry for my recent delay in posts, family and work stuff gets the in the way sometimes you know.  I am back however and this time I am checking out the 2014 flick Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.  It stars Gary Oldman, Keri Russell and Andy Serkis.  "A growing nation of genetically evolved apes led by Caesar is threatened by a band of human survivors of the devastating virus unleashed a decade earlier." As of 7/12/16 IMDB users have this rated as a 7.6

• Could this movies title be longer?
• I will say they do a good job making it look like real apes
• Is that a hunting plan?  1 out of 100 is not a good ratio there boys
• That bear was awesome!  Dead but awesome
• Yes Ass Face Monkey is still around!
• Gross baby monkey!
• Should I know what these damn dirty monkeys are saying
• That guy totally just shot that monkey in the face....nope it wasn't the face
• How do you not notice apps following you?
• Am I watching a movie or the Trump War Room?  BAM!
• Wouldn't horses be freaked out by monkeys?
• That one monkey seems nice
• Why are they scared?  Talking monkeys?
• That place must smell awful!  
• I bet that isn't all mud
• Shouldn't there be more poop throwing?
• I didn't know I needed a ASL book to watch this flick
• He is one ugly monkey...but looking at him you should know he is evil!
• That is one ugly baby monkey!
• Of course one of the humans did something stupid like keep a gun
• He has anger issues
• Is he going to give ass face a book?
• Scarface monkey is creepy and evil, can't they tell that?
• No sound, that means bad things are coming
• This should be a massacre
• A tank?  NICE!
• The monkeys stole the tank!
• Should've killed the human, now you die 
• When does this kid die what with his drawing and what not
• Good grief this flick is LONG!
• Oh shit, John Conner just got cooked!  (look it up boys and girls)
• OH NO ASS FACE WAS SHOT!!  NOT ASS FACE!  NOOOOOOO!!
• Okay I think that Ass Face is okay

Well that certain was a movie wasn't it boys and girls?  I guess I'm about the same as IMDB, I'd give it a 6/10 because it was just too long.  Too drawn out.

The effects were well done and the story isn't bad but a few gaps.  Like wouldn't the military be out either hunting those damn dirty apes or gathering people?  Also how did the people continually not see giant apes following them!

Overall not bad but not Earth shattering either!  If you haven't seen it you probably won't unless like me you are going to be checking out the next flick with your $4 atom ticket from T-Mobile.  

Until next time remember...

Movie Review: Moonrise Kingdom

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, whenever it is you have found this entry.  Today I'm checking out the flick Moonrise Kingdom.  This is a Wes Anderson flick that stars Jared Gilman, Kara Hayward and Bruce Willis.  I found it because of this site which gives some of the top flicks on Netflix.  I'll be honest up front, knowing it is a Wes Anderson flick I'm not sure I'll like it, I am not a fan of most of his stuff but lets see.  At IMDB as of 7/3 it has a 7.8 rating.  "A pair of young lovers flee their New England town, which causes a local search party to fan out to find them."

• I like the 93 minute running time of this flick
• I am not a fan of the cast thus far
• Uggg, this is very art house like most of his flicks...I'm not sure this was the correct flick for me to pick
• Uggg, I am not enjoying this at all.  Now I remember why I dislike Wes Anderson flicks....the dialog is painful
• WTF?  Weapons?
• Thus far calling this a comedy is a stretch, boring is the word I'd use
• Seriously does Anderson right his dialog in bullets thinking that the actors will ad-lib but they don't.  Just doing soundbites
• When does the comedy start?
• Didn't Sam say he wasn't a strong swimmer?  But he jumped into the ocean?
• Is the tent going to get washed out to sea?
• Beach dance party!  YEAH!
• This is extremely awkward, like uncomfortable awkward
• It is only half over?  Really?
• I ask again...when does the comedy come in?
• This is painful in my opinion...very painful
• Is this the longest 93 minutes in film history?
• Worst CGI fire EVER!

I don't get it, I don't.  I don't understand Wes Anderson flicks.  How is that listed as a comedy is beyond me.  I give it a 5/10.  The acting was well done and the filming and what not was well done.  I just didn't find it entertaining or anything.

I don't want to rant and rave here because it is what it is.  I know a lot of people like Wes Anderson so that is good but I didn't find it entertaining at all.  Boring is what I call it.  

Until next time...abyssinia!