Good morning, good afternoon, good evening...whenever you happen across this entry. Today I'm checking out number 52 (as of 12/25/16) on the Bottom 100 with a 2.1. Time to watch Track of the Moon Beast. "A young man is transformed into a hideous "moon beast" due to a meteor fragment lodged in his body." It stars Chase Cordell, Leigh Drake and Gregorio Sala. Time to go track a moon beast.
- Wait? Amazon Prime has commercials? Oh only for their own shows...that makes sense. It is like how after anything Netflix suggested an Original
- Our portion of the solar system? That is a weird way of saying it
- Why would they interrupt a moon collision? Did they really do that back in the day? Hell we can't even get anyone to care about space travel now!
- slowest motorcycle EVER! Almost slower than the car in the opening shot of Birdemic!
- Why did he take his shirt off? Isn't he afraid of sunburn?
- Well that was a random yell. Pretty sure I'd be getting on that slow motorcycle and getting the flock out of there!
- Wait...he didn't really react that much
- Yep random blonde....and suddenly a news report insert!
- This guy isn't that bad of a reporter
- 80 minutes is a good running time for these type of flicks, bad ones!
- Nice, already getting her out in the dark. Half a day and going to get her on the back of his slowest motorcycle
- Even better now that a storm is rolling in!
- So far, 15 minutes in, this is moving quickly story line wise!
- OH SHIT THAT GUY GOT HIT WITH METEOR! Oh I guess not, never mind
- He is working with Native Americans and then just throws paper towel on the ground? That makes Native Americans cries I hear.
- You forgot you were going out of town?
- His place already? Less than 24 hours of meeting?
- He is complaining about his parents being divorced? He is like 30 or something
- She is scared of that lizard? Good grief how cheesy. Then she is afraid of "us". UGGG
- Wait...is Kathy played by Judith Light from Who's the Boss?
- This band isn't that bad
- Paul has spent a lot of this movie without a shirt on....wait are they staying in the same room already? How much time has passed?
- Wait... that was a dress not a nightgown
- I think Johnny Longbow is trying to move in on Paul's girl
- And he is shirtless again!
- I love pre-1980 movie soundtracks!
- That is a lot of blood, don't think I'd open the door if it was me Stella
- This flick isn't that bad thus far. Basically just a 70's flick. Thus far not a bottom 100 worthy flick
- How did the bed get made? Did he make it before he went out moon beasting it up?
- Nice chin strap chin strap!
- Wow that is kind of racist music for suddenly having Native Americans on the screen
- And shirtless yet again! Is he like Randy from Trailer Park Boys and allergic to shirts?
- And like that it went from okay to bad with just that one brief scene!
- Yeah it is a dinosaur you morons!
- Cranial X-Ray? Really?
- For the record he is without a shirt again
- Yes the meteor shower scared the lizard
- Don't usually disgust the results with patients? Really?
- Not even doctors talk like that!
- Wait...there is a cell in the hospital or did I miss them moving him?
- That is the worst transformation scene EVER!
- Once again shirtless, they really saved on his wardrobe
- I was wrong, even with this running time this is long. A few too many scenes that don't advance anything
- Did Longbow just randomly walk into their conference?
- Why does he want to kill himself? He is turning into a moon monster!
- I'll ask again, what is the time frame of this flick?
- Can you call someone slowly? Is that like dialing slowly?
- What is wrong with her? What is going on? This flick has gone off the rails!
- Oh her foot is caught, still off the rails
- That transformation was a little better but the monster still looks like something from the 40's
- Can they even see it? If so why didn't they go help her when she was screaming for help?
- Worst cops EVER!
- PAUL IS NOT PAUL ANYMORE!
- I thought her ankle was hurt
- Awesome death effect
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| This is a screen shot of the monster dying |
Thankfully that was done. I was wrong about how bad this movie was. It very quickly went to 70's hokey to bad movie bad! I give it a 2/10 only because it wasn't that awful make me want to shot myself bad like some other bottom 100 flicks.
The acting wasn't horrible but you could tell they weren't even 'C' level actors. The story wasn't bad but I think there was a Scooby Doo like this with a moon beast.
Overall I can not give you a reason to watch this flick.
Until next time...abyssina!
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